Why My Heart Breaks

It breaks for the Christian woman who is barely holding on to her faith in Christ.

It breaks for the wife who is in a marriage filled with strife, bitterness, loneliness, opression, or God forbid, a form of abuse.

It breaks for the weary woman who doesn't know where to turn for strength, hope, and peace.

It breaks for the one who feels insecure, unsupported, and worried in her many roles of life.

It breaks for the lonely woman with only shallow friendships because she lives in a prison built by her own walls.

It breaks for all the women who are serving the Lord day in and day out who have been wounded by others.

If any of these describe you, friend, then know that I truly do hurt with you and I weep because I can't do much to help.

Don't You Just Love Him!

                                                                     Photo Source 

Dwell on who He is rather than your circumstances!

Have a blessed Friday looking to Him in all things.



Live a poured out life for Christ,

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An Outcast at Christmas

The Christmas festivities and parties will be in full swing soon.   A time to spend with family and friends.

But not all will receive us.

We will feel rejected by those that are either the closest to us or perhaps those that hardly know us.  Either way, rejection hurts.

We will be like an outcast.

"And you will be hated by all for My name's sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved.  Matthew 10:22

Even when your Christmas is less than ideal, remember that The Outcast, Jesus Christ, came into this world in less than perfect conditions, at least according to our minds.

He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.  Isaiah 53:3

But we have Comfort.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.   Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake.  Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.  Matthew 5:10-12

Rejoice and be exceedingly glad...  Let those words sink in and penetrate your heart.  This is not a mere suggestion from our Savior, but rather a command.

Here's a look at the same verse but in the New Living Translation,

Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.  Matthew 5:12

I'd be lying to you if I said it was easy to be happy and glad when I am persecuted!   Yet, I am trying to focus on what the Lord wants me to do even when I feel like an outcast by others.

No, not everyone will love you and accept.

But the One who matters most, always will.

"For the LORD will not forsake His people, for His great name's sake, because it has pleased the LORD to make you His people.  1 Samuel 12:22

Remember that Emmanuel has come.  To walk among us.  To dwell with us.

Receive Him.

Take His hand.

Let Him love you even when others don't.

You are a pure delight to Him.

So, learn to identify with the ancient prophets, but more importantly...

the One True Outcast, Jesus, this Christmas.

Finding Him and breathing Him in will make your Christmas ideal.

Broken but Useful

He stood at the top of a 10- story building while holding a vessel in His hands.  A vessel that was precious to Him.  A vessel that wanted to be used by Him.

Yet, He made the decision that it was best to throw the exquisite vase over the side of the building, shattering it.

The pot was now broken.

To the naked eye it no longer resembled a vessel, just tiny pieces.

Most would say it was no longer fit for use.   Something of value was now damaged beyond repair.  Or was it?

The Man at the top of the building was the Creator; He was the Potter and the vessel, His clay.

Even though He plummeted the vessel to its demise, He  knew what was best for the little pot for He had a great plan and purpose for it.

But now, O LORD, You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our potter; And all we are the work of Your hand.  Isaiah 64:8

Through His hands, what was once broken and of no use, was now being mended by the Potter.

 

That was me being dropped from that 10- story building as my body endured one chronic and debilitating illness after another.  Year in and year out.  Longing to be used by Him, but physically unable.  Broken and useless.

Why, Lord?  Were the thoughts that ran through my mind many years ago.

Yet, today He has given me a glimpse into His perfect plan.

 We are all broken and in need of our Potter because our brokenness comes in varying forms:

• A painful and disappointing marriage. (or singleness)


• Difficult or severed relationships.


• Prodigals.


• Financial hardships.


• Living with limitations.


• A fearful diagnosis.

Through the disappointments, hurting, and pain, He ever so gently fashioned the vessel back together again, but this time the vessel took on a new shape; one better than before.

He filled it with His might and power and sent it on it's way.

Calling out, "My grace is all you need, He said.  And My power works best in weakness."

The little vessel stood, for there was work for it to do.

One last thing He said,

Pour into others as I have poured into you.

Live a poured out life for the Master,



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I Don't Wanna Be A Peacemaker!

A few months ago, rather than having my eldest son attend his regular Sunday School class, he sat in the sanctuary with us to hear our pastor's message.  We felt it was a good time to expose our son to the adult message to see if he had enough spiritual understanding for it.

The teaching that day was on the Beatitudes, more specifically the 'peacemakers'. 

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."  Matthew 5:9

After the service, my husband asked our son if he understood the message and he said, "yes" and he also proceeded to tell us that he liked being in the sanctuary rather than his class.  Well , we will give that some thought.

Shortly after church, we headed to our car and as my two boys climbed in the backseat, my eldest (the one who just came out of the service where he heard about peacemakers, started to argue and fight with his younger brother!) my husband gently said to my boy, "Peacemaker".  

My boys' growling response, "I don't wanna be a peacemaker!"

I could not help but laugh hysterically. 

Here's why: my son spoke his heart and he spoke it openly and unashamedly.  After I laughed at him I could see the look of conviction along with embarrassment on his face.  I realized in that moment that my actions could hinder him from wanting to share his heart with me again.  My laughter came across as if I were mocking him, but in reality, I WAS COMPLETELY IDENTIFYING WITH HIM. 

"I do not want to be a peacemaker either", I said to him.  I told him that it is hard for me to be a peacemaker but it is pleasing to Jesus if I do.  I continued to tell him that he just openly said how many adults feel, but they do not express it to others.  I thanked him for sharing his heart and told him there was nothing wrong with the way he felt. 

"Living the 'Narrow Path' is hard to do", I said.

Under his breathe he said, "I am a warrior".  A smile came over my face and I laughed again.  "I am a warrior too, my son", I replied. 

Just like the impetuous Peter, who cut off the servants ear, we can relate to Peter's personality. 

"Then Simon Peter, having a sword, drew it and struck the high priest's servant, and cut off his right ear." John 18:10 

I would imagine Peter had to learn to be a 'peacemaker' and  it was not natural for him either, however, I am sure he did the best he could to please the Lord to live peacefully with all men. 

I told my son that a warrior for the Lord is also a 'peacemaker' because we are showing love to others.  As soldiers in the Lord's army we can help build the Kingdom of God if we exercise restraint and self-control and extend graciousness, mercy, and love to others.  Yes, it is hard to do because we are denying our flesh. 

"I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. " Galatians 5:16  

Perhaps my boy is not quite ready for such a hard lesson and he is still better off to be ministered at his level!  I know the message is hard for me as well.  Lord, help me to walk in the Spirit so I do not satisfy my flesh.

Being a peacemaker is hard, but it is pleasing to the Lord.

Dying to Self...Is It Worth It?

Die to self. We hear this message over and over as Christians, but actually doing it is something all together very challenging. Last month I was reading in the book of Ezekiel, and as I read verse after verse and chapter after chapter, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the poor man based on all that God had asked of him. The Lord wanted Ezekiel to do some pretty tough things for Him and I couldn’t help but wonder if I were in that situation would I be as obedient and faithful to God as Ezekiel was? Would I die to myself like that?

Let me give you a brief summary of Ezekiel’s story.

He was carried off with the Jewish exiles to Babylon, and while there, he became a prophet of God. The message that he spoke was one of coming judgment for those still in Jerusalem. Unfortunately, though, his preaching was not well received by the Jews that were with him in captivity. 39 out of the 48 chapters of this book, Ezekiel warned of the coming wrath from the Lord. Destruction, disaster and doom were going to take place because of the peoples’ idolatry, wickedness and rebellion. It was a fun read. (sarcasm noted)

Now, we all have trials and at times, life can become very problematic, tiresome, and downright painful but after I finished reading this book, I thought to myself, “I have no trials and what God asks of me is nothing compared to what He had asked of Ezekiel.”

Read the following portions of Scripture and you will see for yourself some of the shocking things that Ezekiel went through. I am sure after you read it, you won’t think your life is so hard either!

"Stand up, son of man," said the voice. "I want to speak with you." The Spirit came into me as he spoke, and he set me on my feet. I listened carefully to his words. "Son of man," he said, "I am sending you to the nation of Israel, a rebellious nation that has rebelled against me. They and their ancestors have been rebelling against me to this very day. They are a stubborn and hard-hearted people. But I am sending you to say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says! 'And whether they listen or refuse to listen—for remember, they are rebels—at least they will know they have had a prophet among them. "Son of man, do not fear them or their words. Don't be afraid even though their threats surround you like nettles and briers and stinging scorpions. Do not be dismayed by their dark scowls, even though they are rebels. You must give them my messages whether they listen or not. But they won't listen, for they are completely rebellious! Son of man, listen to what I say to you. Do not join them in their rebellion. Open your mouth, and eat what I give you." Ezekiel 2:1-8

"The voice said to me, "Son of man, eat what I am giving you—eat this scroll! Then go and give its message to the people of Israel." So I opened my mouth, and he fed me the scroll. "Fill your stomach with this," he said. And when I ate it, it tasted as sweet as honey in my mouth." Ezekiel 3:1-3

Now, I don’t know about you, but that is not a very encouraging ministry to be a part of!

Think about it for a moment. God is telling you to go speak with His people, but by the way, they are not going to listen to you. They will threaten you and treat you harshly. Hmmm, I doubt that there would be a long line of people waiting to sign up to serve in that church ministry!

Let’s keep reading about our good man, Zeke.

"Son of man, go to the people of Israel and give them my messages. I am not sending you to a foreign people whose language you cannot understand. No, I am not sending you to people with strange and difficult speech. If I did, they would listen! But the people of Israel won't listen to you any more than they listen to me! For the whole lot of them are hard-hearted and stubborn. But look, I have made you as obstinate and hard-hearted as they are. I have made your forehead as hard as the hardest rock! So don't be afraid of them or fear their angry looks, even though they are rebels." Ezekiel 3:4-9 Then go to your people in exile and say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says!' Do this whether they listen to you or not." Ezekiel 3:11

Just envision for a moment you're walking into a room filled with people like that and you have to give them a message of repentance! Generally, a message of repentance will not produce people who will like you. I am sure you would not walk out with many new friends, but rather lots of enemies!

God used the obstinate, Ezekiel to give a difficult, hard-to-swallow message to other stubborn people. For all of us that are hard-headed….God has a great plan for us as well! Since I am included in this list, I prefer to use a much nicer word like 'tenacious' instead. (smile) Maybe you're not like this, but you have a kid who is. Keep praying for them to be used by the Lord. God created them in a certain way just for His pleasure and purpose. He gave me one too! (smile)

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10

Let’s continue with our obstinate prophet’s story.

Prepare and eat this food as you would barley cakes. While all the people are watching, bake it over a fire using dried human dung as fuel and then eat the bread. Then the LORD said, "This is how Israel will eat defiled bread in the Gentile lands to which I will banish them!" Then I said, "O Sovereign LORD, must I be defiled by using human dung? For I have never been defiled before. From the time I was a child until now I have never eaten any animal that died of sickness or was killed by other animals. I have never eaten any meat forbidden by the law." "All right," the LORD said. "You may bake your bread with cow dung instead of human dung." Ezekiel 4:12-15

Sounds delicious doesn’t it?

When you read this, you can’t help but be thankful for the food you have in your pantry. As Ezekiel is cooking his food over dung, it is kinda hard to complain that you can’t afford to go out to dinner?

If you want your life to get easier, change your perspective.

Now here’s the part of Ezekiel’s story that broke my heart.

"Son of man, with one blow I will take away your dearest treasure. Yet you must not show any sorrow at her death. Do not weep; let there be no tears. Groan silently, but let there be no wailing at her grave. Do not uncover your head or take off your sandals. Do not perform the usual rituals of mourning or accept any food brought to you by consoling friends." So I proclaimed this to the people the next morning, and in the evening my wife died. The next morning I did everything I had been told to do." Ezekiel 24:16-18

This portion of the Scriptures was difficult for me to read.

Ezekiel had already endured so much persecution and physical hardship (which I did not recount in this post) and I could not help but wonder why God would take away his wife and then have him not mourn about it. Poor guy!

Yet, here you have in Ezekiel 24:18,

"The next morning I did everything I had been told to do."

Bottom line: Ezekiel was obedient to the Lord regardless of what God had called him to do, regardless of what the Lord took him through, and regardless of what the Lord took away from him.

What a beautiful example of a God-fearing man. Ezekiel was more concerned about satisfying the Spirit rather than his flesh. He died to self. We can all learn a lesson from him.

Keep reading... the story gets better.

“During the twenty-fifth year of our captivity—fourteen years after the fall of Jerusalem—the LORD took hold of me. In a vision from God he took me to the land of Israel and set me down on a very high mountain. From there I could see toward the south what appeared to be a city. As he brought me nearer, I saw a man whose face shone like bronze standing beside a gateway entrance. He was holding in his hand a linen measuring cord and a measuring rod. He said to me, "Son of man, watch and listen. Pay close attention to everything I show you. You have been brought here so I can show you many things. Then you will return to the people of Israel and tell them everything you have seen." Ezekiel 40:1-4

God gave Ezekiel a vision of the new temple area along with the rooms for the priests, the altar, the division of land, etc. Imagine if you received a vision like that from the Lord.

Now here comes the best part of the story. My heart beats fast just reading this passage!

"After this, the man brought me back around to the east gateway. Suddenly, the glory of the God of Israel appeared from the east. The sound of his coming was like the roar of rushing waters, and the whole landscape shone with his glory. This vision was just like the others I had seen, first by the Kebar River and then when he came to destroy Jerusalem. I fell face down on the ground. And the glory of the LORD came into the Temple through the east gateway. Then the Spirit took me up and brought me into the inner courtyard, and the glory of the LORD filled the Temple. And I heard someone speaking to me from within the Temple, while the man who had been measuring stood beside me. The LORD said to me, "Son of man, this is the place of my throne and the place where I will rest my feet. I will live here forever among the people of Israel. They and their kings will not defile my holy name any longer by their adulterous worship of other gods or by honoring the relics of their kings who have died." Ezekiel 43:1-7

Oh, to see the glory of the Lord! Wow, to be Ezekiel, what an honor for him. Yes, he did go through some horrendous stuff….stuff I don’t care to go through, yet, look at what the Lord entrusted him with? Can you see how Ezekiel continually died to himself and how the Lord blessed him? I do hope so!

We all want to be used in a nice, easy and uplifting way but sometimes that is not a part of God’s plan.
· Sometimes we are called to minister to rebellious and obstinate people; maybe even to those in our own family.
· Sometimes we are asked to endure a difficult life filled with persecutions and hardships.
· Sometimes we have to eat things that don’t taste very good (those that are on special diets for health reasons know what I am talking about!)
· Or for those who have endured the greatest of grief and sorrow because they have lost a loved one way too soon.

God has entrusted you with a great message; a message of Hope. I am sure He is either taking you through something very difficult or He is asking you to do something that you don't want to do, either way He wants you to DIE TO SELF. When you do that, not only do you bring Him glory, but in His timing, He reveals to you His glory as well. It is beautiful and it is worth all our pain and suffering.

Now don't think for one minute that I am always dying to myself...because I am not. I am a work in progress and I need to learn to daily lay down my life for Christ. In the meantime, I hoping to indulge myself in a bowl of ice cream tonight!

God ALWAYS has a wonderful plan for His children...we just need to remember that we are not here on earth to build our kingdom, but we are here to build His Kingdom.

Dying to self is worth it because we show others our hope in Christ; which is a way His glory is revealed.

Are You a Courageous Woman?

Recently, my family and I were given tickets to the movie, Courageous.  Not knowing much about the film other than the fact that it was made by the same folks who produced Facing the Giants and Fireproof, I was really looking forward to seeing it.

After watching this wonderful, phenomenal, God-fearing, and biblically accurate (according to a man's biblical role in life, that is) show, I was shocked and ever-so touched by how well the movie turned out! The writers and producers presented a VERY powerful message as the story line portrayed how men should act as God-fearing fathers, protectors and leaders of their families.

I am sure every woman that walked out of the theater was thankful that her husband, son, father, brother, or any other male by her side, saw that movie.  It was such a strong, God-breathed message on film that I have a hard time thinking the men that saw that show were not challenged to rise to the occasion  in some sort of way.  If you have seen the movie, then you know what I am talking about.

Now, I have the privilege to be married to a man that has walked with his Savior for over 40 years now.  (He gave his heart to Christ when he was just a boy at age 7 and has faithfully followed Him since.)  By the way, after 13 years of marriage, I do not feel worthy to be his wife.  When I met him, I would refer to him as my 'Solomon' and I was his Shulamite woman.  And still to this day, I sign his cards to 'My Solomon', From, Your Shulamite.  I believe I got the better end of the deal in our marriage.  hehe!

Anyways, my point being is this.  My man does his best to follow the Lord and he faithfully tries to be the God-fearing husband and father that is laid out in the Scriptures.  Of course he fails and sins just like the rest of us.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.  Romans 3:23

Here's my point:  Even though my husband follows Christ to the best of his ability, the movie still brought a conviction to his heart knowing that he could do better in his role as a husband and father. 

Anyways, we left the theater that day and my husband said the message of the movie could make a huge impact on the men in this world and I wholeheartedly agreed.

But then I made this statement,

The sad thing is, I do not believe producers would ever make this kind of movie to encourage women to be God-fearing wives and mothers.

I went on to say,

"I just couldn't see many women lining up to buy a movie ticket in order to learn how to submit, respect, and honor their husbands, nor could I see many women wanting to know how to better serve and instruct their children!  It just wouldn't happen in our society."

I wondered how many women already knew the story line of Courageous and they either manipulated, nagged, or dragged their husband to see that film in hopes that their man would be a better husband or father as a result of the show?  How many women walked out of the theater disappointed that her husband was not a man of God like the ones portrayed on the screen?

Imagine for a moment if someone produced a movie to encourage women to be better wives or mothers.  How many men would like to take their wives to go see it?  I am sure A LOT!  How many women would be angry that their husbands took them to see that movie?

Of course all of this is speculation but our society today is so feminine dominate and it is constantly beating down men and emasculating them.

My spirit was grieved just thinking about how the movie of Courageous probably wouldn't be reversed for women because it wouldn't be received.

The biblical role of womanhood is so misunderstood, frowned upon and demoralized by those in and out of the church today.  Btw, it is usually a woman who has an issue with biblical womanhood and not a man, (not always the case, but usually.)  Note:  before I came to Christ, I WAS ONE OF THOSE WOMEN!

So I had this thought.  If I couldn't see a movie made for us, how about it if God-fearing women made their own Courageous Resolution on paper?

A Resolution that stood for what the Bible had to say about our role as wives and mothers.

Could we make an impact through the blogosphere and social media letting other women know it is okay (and wonderful, I might add) to live out a life according to God's Word?

Well I don't know how much of an impact can be made, but I have made up my mind to do something about it!

Here is A Woman's Courageous Resolution that I have made just for the above purpose!

Post it, share it, reprint it, frame it.  LIVE IT!

This is where I stand!  Will you stand with me?

I WILL diligently pursue Christ with my whole heart.

I WILL submit to my husband as the leader of my home, knowing that it is God who has appointed him as my headship.

I WILL diligently give my husband honor and respect.

I WILL be a helpmate to my husband, coming alongside of him as he leads our family for Christ.

I WILL share my heart with my husband so he can learn to dwell with me with understanding, rather than shout my words like a contentious woman or stuff my feelings and allow bitterness to grow in our marriage.

I WILL be faithful to my husband both physically and emotionally.

I WILL diligently serve my husband and my children with a loving and kind heart.

I WILL train up my children in the ways of the LORD as I nurture and instruct them.

I WILL seek to be content and have a cheerful heart as I keep our home.

I WILL be mindful of how much time I spend doing other activities or ministries that may hinder me from serving my family first.

I WILL forgive others who have hurt me and restore the relationship of those that I have offended.

As Christ has poured out His life for me, I WILL seek to pour out my life for Christ as I pour into the lives of my husband and children.

A woman who fears the LORD shall be praised.  

Proverbs 31:30

Let's take the stand together,

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Dealing with Discontentment

Today I was in the process of grabbing food from my refrigerator so I could make lunch for my family.  Sounds like an ordinary afternoon, right?  However, my refrigerator is not in my house but in my friends' garage.  I quickly became distracted by all the stuff that was surrounding me and unfortunately, I immediately became discontent with my situation.

For those of you that are new to The Alabaster Jar, my family and I don’t have a place to call our own yet. We are currently living with close family friends. All of our belongings (earthly possessions) are piled up in our friends’ garage, and yes, that does include my underwear!  You can read more of my story here at: How to Lose Your Dream Home Not Just Once, But Twice

My dresser filled with my clothes.

There are many things in my life today that can cause me to be discontent, especially if I look in the mirror and see my thinning hair, my extra, unwanted pounds and the wrinkles on my face.  Oh, and I can't forget those natural highlights called 'gray hair'.  But the discontentment that I faced today included my living situation.


It is very easy in this world to live a discontented life if we allow our minds to go there.

Here are some things that can trigger discontentment:

• Dealing with difficult or broken relationships

• Feeling lonely

• Longing to be married or strains on your marriage

• Financial hardships

• Chronic illnesses
The list could go on and on.

With the world surrounding us, it tells us we should have:

• a bigger house

• a nicer car

• the latest fashions

• our children need to be in the best schools, (or use the best curriculum if we homeschool)

• we should look younger and be thinner

There is nothing inherently wrong with these things, unless of course we are looking for them to fulfill us; which is the root of the problem.

I think discontentment runs in our blood.  Generally speaking, I personally think that women are more prone to being discontent more than men are.

For example, take a look at Adam and Eve. Adam was content to eat from all the other trees in the garden, except from the one that was forbidden by God. It was Eve who was discontent with all that was given to her. She just had to have MORE than what the Creator of the Universe provided for her!

Then there’s Sarah. Oh Sarah… what a discontented woman she was! She wasn’t happy about the fact that she still had not bore any children with Abraham. So what does she do? She takes matters into her own hands thinking of course that by doing so, she will become content. Wrong! Because of this, she makes an even bigger mess out of her life.

She had her maidservant, Hagar, sleep with her husband so she can bear children for Sarah. Soon Hagar becomes pregnant, just like Sarah had wanted, but then Sarah becomes discontent (again!) because Hagar was carrying Abraham’s child. Ridiculous! There was no pleasing this woman. She wanted to eat her cake and have it too!

We can become constant drippings... like a dripping faucet. Drip. Drip. Drip. The thought of that sound alone grates on my nerves.

Imagine how we sound when we act and say things over, and over, and over like a constant dripping faucet? Annoying! Who would want to be around a woman like that?

Repeatedly in the Holy Scriptures we see the admonition to the women about our attitudes.   Ladies, if you are not married, don’t discard this admonition because you can still apply it to your lives.

“The contentions of a wife are a continual dripping.” Proverbs 19:23

“A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.” Proverbs 27:15

Definition of contentment: satisfaction with what one has

1) a perfect condition of life in which no aid or support is needed

2) sufficiency of the necessities of life

3) a mind contented with its lot, contentment

Contentment will come to us when we focus on the things of the Lord and not on the things of this world.  

“And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.” 2 Corinthians 9:8

It is only when we live for Jesus Christ, pursuing Him, knowing Him, and serving Him that will we become content. The pursuit of things that are not lasting, things that will pass away, will eventually lead to our discontentment.

Tips to fill you with contentment:

• • Pray. Ask for the Lord’s strength to protect you from the trappings and deception of the Enemy. (Remember Eve?)


• • Hide God’s Word in your heart and meditate on the Scriptures.


• • Join a Bible study


• • Listen to praise and worship music throughout the day. (if possible)


• • Spend time in fellowship with other strong women of faith…not just girlfriends, but women who desire to know more of Jesus and who want to spend their time talking about Him! If you don’t have friends like this, PRAY, and in time, the Lord will bring you some!


• • Change your perspective from having the things of this ‘world’ to having your eyes on eternity. This alone will make a HUGE impact on your day.


• • Serve the Lord rather than yourself.


• • Ask yourself what is it that you pursue? What are your priorities? Will those things draw you closer to Jesus? Or will you be drawn further away from Him and His presence?

Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls. Proverbs 25:28 (I’m gonna try and not have cake tonight!)

The key to contentment in one’s life is the relationship you have with Christ. Knowing who He is as you continually seek Him and realizing who you are in Him is where content will be found! “Now godliness with contentment is great gain.” 1 Timothy 6:6

For those that are married, you can read my post here called, Discontentment in Your Marriage.

 

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A Dog's Passionate Pursuit

I was slightly immersed in one of my favorite books, My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers, as I looked on at the kids splashing in the pool today.  I wasn't sure at first what they were playing.  Kids on either side of the dividing line (pool sweep hose) while throwing objects at one another (gently, of course).  I soon figured out that they were playing a game of water dodge ball; which included my dog as a participant.  I watched on.  

I noticed (as usual) that my dog was quickly fixated on her toy.  The one she chases.  The one that squeaks.  The one she loves.  In fact, we refer to her as a rabid dog because she is so consumed with it.  She chases it so much that it causes her paws and nails to bleed as a result of her pursuit.

I often refer to her as being an addict for her toy.

As all the objects would fly throughout the air and land in the water, it wouldn't take long for Scruffy the dog to leap into the pool to get her heart's desire.  

Although her toy became one of the balls, she could clearly distinguish between the real one (hers) and the imposters.  As more balls were hurled through the air, in no way was she distracted by what came her way.  Her eyes were on the prize; her toy.

The various 'balls' that were used to play- Scruffy's toy included.

 

With a dogged-determination (pun intended), she didn't lose sight of what mattered so much to her.

She got her prize.

She is a dog.  No conscience.  No soul.  An animal.  Yet, she could clearly go after something with all of her 'dog-being'.  A passionate and relentless pursuit.  A persistence that would leave her choking up water, exhausted and sometimes bleeding.  But she wouldn't give up.  

The children stopped playing.  The game is over.  Disappointment sets in.  She waits for one of the kids to throw her toy so she can continue in her pursuit again.

Disappointed but still focused, she looks on.

As I watched all of this play out, I couldn't help but think about my own pursuits.  

Am I as intentional and as focused after my Prize?   I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 3:14  Or will I be mislead by many of the world's imposters?

Can I distinguish in this world what is worth pursuing?

Or when the distractions that are being thrown my way leave me unfocused, lost, thrown off balance, or defeated, will I be tenacious enough to continue in my pursuit?    

When life becomes a disappointment, will I still look to my Prize, the One I love?

I, being a human being, filled with the power of the Living God, will I chase after my Prize with such determination?  Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it.  1 Corinthians 9:24

Imposters, distractions, and disappointments all showed up in the pool today for my dog, but they showed up for me as well.   

Distractions that made it difficult for me to not only seek Christ, but to hear from Him and to be in His Holy presence today.

Disappointments with extended family that brought me to tears (again).

Imposters masked as joy and peace.  Would I succumb to  busyness, food (chocolate), or entertainment to numb what I was feeling inside?  

Would I seek the Imperishable Crown?  And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown.  1 Corinthians 9:25

As my dog bleeds for her prize, would I be willing to bleed for my Prize?  Pushing everything aside to seek Him, find Him, know Him and be obedient to Him.
 
In the pursuit of Christ we need to: 

• ·       stay focused on Him

• ·       be undeterred by distractions and disappointments

• ·       be discerning of imposters 

• · and sometimes we need to bleed for Him; by overcoming our fears, injustices, insecurities, and self- so we can know Him more and make Him known to others

As we passionately and relentlessly pour out our life for Christ, remember that He bled for us because we are His prize!

 

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I am linked up with:

How to Lose Your Dream Home Not Just Once, But Twice (Part 2)

Out of the ashes of my life came God’s beauty.  Grab my hand as I take you to the Cross to show you the great and mighty things that the Lord has done.  “Call to me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you know not.”  Jeremiah 33:3

If you haven’t read Part 1 of How to Lose Your Dream Home Not Just Once, But Twice, you can read it here. 

Although for many months our situation looked bleak, let me remind you of something:  the Hand of God is never bleak! 

God did many miracles during that time of our lives.  (You can read my post here called, Uncertainty in Difficult Times when my Beloved was rushed to the Emergency Room last October)

In this post I want to tell you about a full week in the month of December that I like to refer to as “The 5 days of Christmas”.  Each day as I opened my door, it was one unexpected miracle after another.

• ·       On the first day of Christmas this is what Jesus did for us:  Two sisters in the Lord came by our house unannounced.  They came bearing gifts and singing a Christmas carol. They left us with some candy treats and $100.00.  God’s faithfulness: money for groceries.
• ·       On the second day of Christmas this is what Jesus did for us:  Dear, old friends came by to drop off several boxes of their old household items for us.  They thought we could sell the items on Ebay or Craigslist and receive the profits.  In addition to the smaller items that they gave us, they informed my Beloved that if he was willing to spruce up and fix some broken items on their old van and then sell it, they would give him 50% of the profits.  We were grateful for their hearts. God’s faithfulness:  The next day we sold some items and my boys got new shoes!
  
• ·       On the third day of Christmas this is what Jesus did for us:   Some new friends asked if they could stop by and see us.  “Of course, I said, we would love to spend some time in fellowship with you!”  God’s faithfulness:  They showed up with wrapped presents for the boys and a card for my Beloved and I.  Guess what was wrapped in those boxes?  Yep, Legos!  Is God cool or what!  My Beloved opened the card and inside was cash totally almost $1,000!  My eyes filled with tears.  I couldn’t believe how gracious and generous this family was towards us…they hardly knew us!  Later my boys told me they saw the money and their eyes welled with tears too!  Jesus was providing for us and my young boys were starting to see the Body of Christ at work.
• ·       On the fourth day of Christmas this is what Jesus did for us:  Our dear, old friends came by again and told us to keep all of the proceeds from the van when it sells.  God’s faithfulness: They also handed us an envelope filled with $400 and said that it was from one of their friends that we had never met.  Our sweet friends told their friends our story and God put it on their hearts to bless us.
• ·       On the fifth day of Christmas this is what Jesus did for us:   Some dear friends gave us a gift card worth $500 to shop for much needed necessities for our family.  God’s faithfulness:  shoes and clothing.

When I think of Christmas now, I can’t help but be reminded of God’s faithfulness to us. No amount of money in our bank account can teach us, nor our children, of how great and faithful our God is.  "There is no one like the God of Israel. He rides across the heavens to help you, across the skies in majestic splendor. The eternal God is your refuge, and his everlasting arms are under you.”  Deut. 33:26,27

Now here's the part of my story where God emerged as the main character of my life.  

Page after page, month after month, His story for my life was unfolding, yet during this time, I could not read most of the language that Jesus was writing in.  The language that I understood was called:

• ·       Heartache
• ·       Disappointment
• ·       Self-Pity
• ·       Uncertainty
• ·       Fear
• ·       Doubt
• ·      Throne-horder (that’s my new word!)  Here’s what I mean by that.  Jesus is the one who is seated on the throne, being that He is the King of Kings and all.  He is in control of every situation, including your life and mine; the good, the bad and the ugly.  But unfortunately there are times when I want to scoot Jesus off of His throne, and that is when I become a ‘throne-horder’. There may be days that I nudge Him ever so gently with my rear or days when I even ask Him very kindly if He could move over just a bit so I can have a seat.  I am most certain that I stepped on the train of His robe a time or two, as well.  Now, the Lord is a gentleman, He won’t make a fuss. 

That’s just what happened.  I sat on my throne and ruled my kingdom.  Now, I ruled it a little bit differently than most kings because I wasn’t harsh nor mean towards others. Instead, while I sat on my throne I was filled with all the things listed above, even while I believed in the Christ, the Son of the Most High God.  My perspective was wrong and I wasn’t listening to the Lord’s language as He wrote my story.

It wasn’t until a year later that the Lord taught me a new language, and I would have to say, IT IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL and well worth the heartache and pain in order to hear it!  

This language is known as:

• ·       His Presence
• ·       His Faithfulness
• ·       His Sovereignty
• ·       His Miraculous Hand (Watch me daughter and I will show you many great things)
• ·       His sufficiency (and not my own)
• ·       His grace and mercy
• ·       His plan for my marriage to be stronger than ever
• ·       His spiritual gifts that He has chosen to give me
• ·       His desire to want to use me
• ·       His shaping of my children’s character
• ·       His perfect plan for my life

While I was reading this story, even though I had a hard time understanding most of the language that God used, there was one thing I did understand, and that was who the main character was.  It was me!

After I finished reading this story, however, I realized that God was and is the main character.  He is the leading man and star of the show.  Oh how I wished I could have read that language when I first started reading the pages of this book. I think my life would’ve been easier if I just had a different perspective.

For now, my book/story is not over.  Hopefully as more pages unfold of my life, I will get out of the way and let God take center stage; so He can be lifted up for all to see. "And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself."  John 12:32

My encouragement to you dear sister:  When you face trials and tribulations, move off the throne and let God take center stage of your life as well.  You won’t regret it!

 

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How to Lose Your Dream Home Not Just Once, But Twice

Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and pretend I am not living this life because this is not what I had expected, yet, this is what I prayed for.

Between being sick for so many years and now this?  The home being lost, again!

The Lord had asked me to revisit my dreams, to live in my home once again only to have it taken away again.  My emotions fought with my spirit.  I didn’t want to question Him because I KNOW He knows what is best for me.

Let me tell you a story about,  How to Lose Your Dream Home Not Just Once But Twice.  It’s a ridiculous story, but a true one nonetheless and I can’t wait to share it with you so you can find God in the midst of your own hardships (and sometimes absurdities) of your life.

It was March of 2010 when we received the first notice from the Bank that our home was going to be sold on the courthouse steps (foreclosed upon) on April 6^th.  So we moved out and moved into a rental.  We were very blessed for our rental home and we were content there.  We had no desire to move back to our dream home on Ashbury Lane (nor did we think it was ever a possibility), instead we looked ahead to our future with hope.  That chapter of our book was now closed, we thought.  

April through August of 2010 we were able to pay our bills.  Praise the Lord!  For 5 months we were just getting by.  My health was improving and I felt wonderful.  Perhaps there was a light at the end of the tunnel after all? 

Until I turned the page of my book to September, where a visit to the Urgent Care cost us almost $400.00.  A boy's hand with a sliced finger that needed stitches was the reason.  Having no health insurance we relied on the Lord to provide, and of course He did.  But would we have enough money to pay our rent, was the thought that ran through my mind?

I continued to read on until October came.  It was during that time that my beloved was rushed to Emergency.  An EKG was ordered because of a low heart rate and a Cat Scan later revealed a kidney stone.  Thousands of dollars are now owed to the hospital, yet thankful for a healthy husband.

I now become hesitant to turn the page to November.  What's next?  Can we afford to pay rent?  The escrow my husband had been working on for months still had not closed, which meant he wouldn't get paid.  We were told by the Lender that it would close before Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving came and went but with no paycheck.  Our landlord was so gracious to us and told us to pay him when the escrow closed.  He also showed up with a small Christmas tree for our boys, in addition to gift cards for them to buy Christmas presents.  We were blown away by his generosity, empathy and compassion.  In the meantime, the property on Ashbury Lane, (my dream home) still had not sold on the courthouse steps.  The Bank kept postponing the sale of our home but we didn't understand why.  In our minds it didn't really matter to us because it wasn't like we were going to move back there. Or so we thought!

I started to think I was reading a book on horror when I came across the pages of December.  Week after week the escrow still had not closed.  In the meantime my Beloved is doing everything he can to make money to feed us and to keep the utilities on, yet some were disconnected.  Plus, it's been raining and my boy has holes in the bottom of his shoes and his socks are now getting wet.  We hardly have any money and what we do have is for food.

Jesus will provide, I tell my son.  We continue to pray for the Lord to meet our needs. 

My Beloved husband feels like a failure.

I hold him and tell him that the Lord has a plan in all of this.  “Don’t lose hope, I say.  God is moving and working on our behalf.”

I try to encourage and affirm who he is, “Regardless of your decisions and where ever they take us, do not doubt yourself because God has anointed you as the head of the household.  I will be by your side every step of the way."

With tears in his eyes, he says to me, “I am like water to his thirsty soul,”

“It is not I that quenches your thirst, but the Lord, I remind him.”

Jesus replied, "If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water."  John 4:10

It broke my heart to see my Knight in Shining Armor so defeated in all of this.  I couldn’t fix his problem but what I could do was pray for him and our situation and try to have a good attitude as we endured this difficult time.

The sale of the Ashbury property has now been postponed yet another month.  We receive a certified letter from the Bank.  After a phone call is made to them, they inform us that we could qualify for a loan modification but we had to be living in our property (seeing how the Bank had yet to foreclose upon our house back in April like they had told us, the home was still considered our property).  We had no desire to pack up all of our belongings and move back because we knew we would never qualify for the loan modification, plus the home could be foreclosed upon the next month!  We were hopeful that the Lord would provide for us financially so we could just stay in our rental.

Now things we owned were being sold on either Craigslist or Ebay so we would have money for food.

“God will provide all our needs”, was a constant reminder in our household.

Our boys were told not to expect any Christmas presents from us this year because we didn’t have any money for toys.  “I am sorry boys, but you won’t be getting any Legos this year,” I said.

It was a tough December for us.  At the beginning of the Christmas season I wrote a short e-book called, Strengthening Your Child’s Faith at Christmas and I posted a link to it on Facebook.  Unfortunately, a family member of mine decided to smear my name on Facebook because of my Christian faith which he was (and still is) hostile towards.  I sobbed.  I was so tired of being persecuted by my family for my faith. “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”  Matthew 5:10 

A few days later we hear from the neighbor kids that their parents don’t like me.  In fact, they tell our kids that their parents can’t stand us and we would probably sue them for all sorts of ridiculous reasons.  What!  That’s odd to hear, seeing how we hardly spoke to them! It still hurt my feelings.  “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”

Even though I knew what the Bible had to say and I knew we were under attack by the Enemy it was becoming more increasingly difficult to bear.  How much longer Lord?  When will the storms let up?

New Year’s Eve we decided to drive over to the Ashbury home to see the condition that it was in.  I remember that day well and it is still painful to think about it.

As others were out celebrating and ringing in the New Year with hope, I couldn’t help but think we were probably moving back to the home and enduring another move filled with even more uncertainty.  Life did not look hopeful at this time, in fact, it looked downright depressing.

After a 10 month period, what we saw was a dismal sight:

• Weeds around the yard that were at least 3 feet tall


• Grass, bushes and trees that were either dead or on the verge of dying due to lack of water


• Our once beautiful pool was now devoid of crystal blue water; instead it was filled with trash, debris and rain water.

We unlocked our front door and stepped into the dust covered house.

I looked around to what was once filled with many memories... birthday parties, Christmas celebrations, friends, family, fellowship. I couldn’t help but question why would the Lord bring us back to this place?  Not only was the home a depressing sight, but we soon realized that our home had been broken into as the back doors were busted and left wide open and banging in the wind.

Dust covered everything.  There was minor vandalism and theft as well.  More sorrow and pain were added to my heart that day.  Along with more work because I had to clean the place!  Could the Lord really bring us back here, I thought?

I wanted to stop reading this book but I didn’t have a choice.

So I turned the page to January 2011, where I received more bad news.

One morning I discovered that there was something wrong with my car.  Later my Beloved takes a look at it and he said I would never believe what was wrong with it.  My response, “I would believe anything at this moment based on how our lives have been.”  He informed me that someone stole the catalytic converters off of the car.  I laughed (my other option was to cry).  That was clearly the enemy wanting to discourage us.  

No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is from Me," says the LORD.  Isaiah 54:17 

We later find out that parts alone for the car would cost us $3500.00.  That wasn’t in our budget!

Seeing how we had little money and the escrow still had not closed, we felt we had no other choice but to make the move back to our home on Ashbury Lane.  It was a daunting and miserable time of a move, to say the least.

Although I wanted to curl up in the fetal position and just cry, it would serve me no good.  I had a home to pack, a family to care for, my health to manage, and a ministry to run.

We got all of our things into the home around January 23^rd and the sale date of the property was scheduled for Feb. 9^th.  Less than 3 weeks and we might have to move again.

Should I unpack our things? I thought.

What would that teach our boys?  Would my actions show them that I was trusting in Jesus if I left our things in boxes?  Or did these young souls need to see my actions showing them that I trusted in the Christ?

The Lord made it clear,  “Take your boys to Me.  Show them that you trust Me.”  He said.

So I unpacked our home knowing full well that we may have needed to get out in less than 30 days.   Yet, it wasn’t until 7 months later that we moved. 

So, we have now officially moved out of our dream house, not just once, but twice!

At the beginning of this post I said, "this is what I prayed for", and this is what I meant by that:

My desire and prayer over the years that I have walked with Christ is to be closer to Him, to know Him more and to filled with His glorious presence.

His answer: Daughter, you will lose your home…again, and you will move…again.  It will be exhausting, painful and difficult.  You will cry in anguish and you will doubt and question Me.  You will live in uncertainty and you will long for stability, but the stability that you long for is false.  I am all you need.

This is what I prayed for and it hurts (my flesh), yet my spirit sings.

But the best part of the story is yet to come!  Join me soon for Part 2 where I will tell you of the many miracles that God did during that time on our behalf!

Plus, I will share with you what I learned about allowing God to be the main character of my story/my life, rather than me being the 'leading lady'.

 
I am linked up with:

Getting down with JesusGetting Down With Jesus

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Sleeping in the Boat with Jesus

Do you ever get tired of living in the ‘storms’ of life? I know I have! I have been asked that question often by other women and what I have tried to do in my own life is learn to sleep in the boat like Jesus did when He was in a storm. (Please know that by no means am I always successful in resting in Him, but it is something that I try to be intentional about.)

Let me explain what I mean about sleeping in the boat like Jesus.

In Matthew 8:25-26, Jesus calms the storm as the disciples start freaking out thinking they are going to die.

“Then His disciples came to Him and awoke Him, saying, "Lord, save us! We are perishing!" But He said to them, "Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?" Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.” Matthew 8:25-26

I freaked out just like the disciples did.

So here is our Savior sleeping in the boat during a storm. He is not fearful, nor anxious. Jesus is not panicking, nor is He worried or concerned; in fact, He is so relaxed about the entire situation that He is taking a nap, on a boat, in a storm!

As I picture in my mind Jesus and the boys in this scenario, I can’t help but smile thinking about the situation. I wonder why on earth would the disciples be screaming, “Lord, save us! We are perishing!” Don’t they know that Jesus is the One who controls the waves?

“He calms the storm, so that its waves are still.” Psalm 107:29

I mean, after all, He IS the Savior of the world and the Creator of the Universe!

“Everything was created through him and for him. He existed before anything else, and he holds all creation together.” Colossians 1:16,17

(Actually, no the disciples didn’t know who He was.)

“So the men marveled, saying, "Who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?" Matthew 8:27

I guess after reading that verse, I shouldn’t be so hard on the boys.

As believers, if we have been in the storms for any length of time, we are probably very aware of the above verses. But let’s look further into this passage to see exactly what Jesus was doing with the disciples.

Jesus had a destination in mind. Don’t think for a minute that He just decided to go on some afternoon boating trip with the men because that was not the case. Nor did He have plans to go sightseeing like a tourist when He got to the other side either. The Lord had a plan and a purpose for that trip. He knew exactly what He was doing when He got in the boat to cross that sea and He knew that the storm was coming as well.

“He stirs up the sea with His power, and by His understanding He breaks up the storm.” Job 26:12

Not only was He taking the disciples to the other side, but He also had business to take care of while He was there…His Father’s business, that is.

“When He had come to the other side, to the country of the Gergesenes, there met Him two demon-possessed men, coming out of the tombs, exceedingly fierce, so that no one could pass that way.” And suddenly they cried out, saying, "What have we to do with You, Jesus, You Son of God? Have You come here to torment us before the time?" Matthew 8:28,29

Let that sight sink in for just a moment. Not just one, but two demon-possessed men coming out of the tombs, exceedingly fierce! Can you even imagine what was going through the disciples' minds? One minute they think they are going to die because they might drown from the raging storm at sea and then the next minute they are staring at the faces of two demon-possessed men! Hmmm, why I think that is a lovely way to spend an afternoon, don’t you? (sarcasm noted.)

If I had a day like that, I'd be mentally and physically exhausted, plus it would send me over the edge. I hope the boys at least had the chance to stop off at Starbucks before they headed back into the boat! (I have a tendency to be an emotional eater and a nice decaf, iced mocha would bring me lots of comfort! Although we all know Where the True Source of Comfort comes from.)

Wow, we think we got it bad with our trials…imagine having a day like that! (Please note: the Bible does not mention in this passage how long it took the disciples to get to the other side. It could have taken more than a day.)

As the boys witnessed all that took place in those instances, you know their faith in the Messiah must have increased. God does the same with us as He takes us through trials. He performs miracles in our own lives all the time and He is wanting us to trust Him more and more.

The Lord has you in His boat as well and He has a course mapped out for you too. He has a destination in mind. Perhaps you are in the midst of sailing the ocean sea right now and the storm that you are in is raging or you have reached the other side and now you are dealing with even bigger issues. But just like the disciples, Jesus was always there with them and He is with us as well.

My encouragement to you when you are faced with those huge waves is to learn to sleep in the boat like Jesus. You are resting in the promises of the Word of God and you are putting your complete faith in Him even when things look like they can’t get any worse.

Here's comes the unfortunate part: it is called human nature.

It is much easier to look at our circumstances rather than to look at the promises found in the Word of God. I know, because I did just that the other day! I freaked out like the disciples did.

Here’s the story of how I woke Jesus up and started screaming asking Him to save me! (If you haven’t been following my story, you can read it here at, Are Trials Really Good for Us?)

We had just gotten a call from the real estate agent representing the Bank and she said the Bank is offering us some cash to move out of our house in 30 days. Did I say I freaked out? Because I did and I slept only 3 hours that night! Seeing how we are cash-challenged right now, it was great to hear that the Bank was going to offer us money to move out, but in the meantime, we do not have any money to pay for the first month's rent and a deposit for a new place. We needed money before we moved out AND we needed to find a place that would rent to us! Our situation looked bleak. The next morning I headed off to church to serve for VBS and while there I saw my dear friend and I told her of the news. Then I cried. I knew Jesus would take care of us but I couldn’t keep my eyes on Him and I was having such a difficult time resting in Him…I kept trying but the waves of my storm looked enormous!

Over and over in my mind that day I would remind myself to sleep in the boat like Jesus and here were my thoughts:
“Don’t worry.”
“The Lord will take care of it.”
“He will show up and help us. I don’t know how, but I know He will.”
"He is the Miracle Maker."
"Get my eyes off of the situation and go serve Him."
“Keep my mind on Him.”

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3

That was my spirit-talk that morning. That was me trying as best as I could to sleep in the boat with Jesus during my storm. If I didn't do that I would have crumbled. Most likely I would have left the day of serving in VBS so I could serve myself, or should I say, cater to my feelings of worry and anxiety; which produces nothing except more doubt.

That morning friends prayed for me.

“Call on me in prayer and I will show you great and mysterious things that you do not know about.” Jeremiah 33:3

Later that day Jesus rebuked the winds and the waves of my storm! (Hello people, that’s less than 24 hours of God interceding on our behalf!) The Lord moved incredibly quick and calmed the sea. Maybe because He knew I was tired of sailing in shark-infested waters for so many years and I was now becoming sea sick! It's a beautiful story of God’s hand of faithfulness. The Miracle Maker showed up once again. (You can read more about the Miracle Maker here at, God is Bigger Than Our Credit Score.)

Oh, why did I worry? Hadn't He shown me enough miracles that I needn't not fret again?

Here's some application for you:

Trust and faith were being built in the disciples' lives that day when they were in the storm. Jesus reveled to them Who He was when He calmed the sea. (He wasn't just another one of their fishing buddies, nor was He just a good teacher...He was showing them that He was the Messiah!) The disciples needed to see that, because later they were faced with even more difficulties when the encountered the demon-possessed men. One of the reasons why Jesus took them through those things was so when He left this earth the disciples would testify of all that Christ had done. He was preparing His boys to go out and preach the Good News and build His church.

Trust and faith are being built in your life and mine as we go through the storms as well. Jesus reveals Himself to us when He performs miracles in our lives too, but some miracles that we experience are unfortunately attached to our storms. We need to be reminded that Jesus is our Savior and Messiah so we can go out and share the Good News and build His church while we are still here on earth, because that, my friend, is our purpose in life.

"And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself." John 12:32