Your Marriage is Your First Ministry & a Link Up!

I recently received an email from a reader asking me for some advice that I'd like to share with you as well.
  

Dear Jolene,
How do I balance being a wife at the same time while serving in the church as a leader?   Keep in mind, my husband isn't saved yet. We normally have differences & at times I feel like resigning.   What should I do?

I'm so glad this reader wrote in and asked this question because this issue needs to be addressed and in a big way!  Many marriages are crumbling because Godly women are gone from the home and serving in the Church.  Their men have been left to fend for themselves on a constant basis.  A marriage should not be like this, nor would Jesus be too pleased if the marriage is being forsaken so outside ministry can take place.

So this response is to all wives, whether one's husband is saved or not.  Also, if you're involved in outside ministry but you don't hold a position of leadership, the counsel given here is designed to give you clarity regarding your Godly priorities.

What's Ahead?

My leisurely summer is quickly coming to an end, but boy did I sure need a break from all of our constant moves, homeschooling through our many trials, and just the demands of life!  However, we still have one day left of free bowling with friends and a day at the beach with our family!  

Here's me and my baby boy, Noah, as we celebrated his 11th birthday this past week.

She Said I Was Filled with Pride; How Ministry Shattered My Heart

"You're prideful and I can't see your heart and others can't see your heart as well." 

Those were the words I read on the screen.  In a nutshell, her email conveyed she thought I was doing a poor job in ministry.

Well, I would have to concur with her.  I am prideful and I wish that weren't so and although I try to show and share my heart as much as possible, I'm sure I don't do a good job at it.  Oh, and me doing a great job in ministry...well, that's just a laughable notion.  It just won't and can't happen because I know my fleshly tendencies.

Have You Experienced Ministry Burnout Too?

Have you ever been drained or burnt out in ministry?  Ever felt like you couldn't possibly pour into another human being ever again?  Or maybe you became bitter while serving the Lord?  I've been there, my friend, and I must say it isn't a fun spiritual place to be.  

For several years my husband and I ran a homeschool group.  (And, no, I don't believe homeschooling is for everyone, but that's a different post.)  Anyhow, with running an organization like that I was able to use several of my talents and skills and some of my spiritual gifts.  After a few years into the ministry, I came to realize that I was spending the majority of my time in administering things, as well as, handling conflict.  Every leader knows that dealing with conflict is a crucial part of their role.  However, for me, my heart and passion was to encourage and equip the women, but my leadership and administration roles always took precedence.  

Discovering Your Spiritual Gifts

Did you know that God has given every single one of His children a gift?  Not just any old gift that can rust away but a spiritual gift hand-picked by God specifically for you!  Yep, He has.  He has given all of His kiddos a special ability to serve Him so the Body of Christ is uplifted and encouraged. Now, that's my kinda gift!  

Well, as a new believer I wanted to use my gifts for Him but I didn't know what they were.  So I just decided to jump into ministry hoping I'd figure them out along the way.  I tried several different ones and I kinda felt like Goldilocks going from one bowl of porridge to the next hoping to find the right fit for me!

I Hurt

I have nothing to offer you today, because I hurt.  I can't encourage you or equip you or even inspire you to draw closer to the Lord because my spirit has been crushed.  I know I should be writing my final post in my single's series, but I can't because I'm just empty inside.

As a Christian woman, my heart hurts.

As a mommy, my heart hurts.

As a friend, my heart hurts.

I know I'll never be enough.

I will always lack.

I will always fall short.

But Jesus is always enough.

He is never lacking and He never falls short of loving us and meeting us right where we are.

I'm Tired of Serving the Most High God... and a Link Up!

I've been in full-time ministry for many, many years now.

Ministry to my husband.

Ministry to my children.

Ministry within my home and outside of my home.

I'm tired of serving others all in the name of Jesus Christ.

I'm tired of being rejected and persecuted for my faith.

What If...

I'm going a little philosophical on you today so I hope you don't mind! 

I've been wrestling with some thoughts lately, thoughts that seem to go against the norm of the Christian culture, thoughts that challenge me and stretch me to the core.  Perhaps these thoughts that have been swirling in my brain will challenge you in your walk?  Maybe they'll further you towards Christ as well?

Let me start here.  Since God has called me to the field of ministry where one writes, I often hear in this type of ministry that one should find their voice or use their voice.  At first I kinda scratched my head about that concept not quite knowing what the so-called experts were talking about, but then I figured it out.  Here's what it means in case you didn't know either: basically when you write something you should use your personality; you should be you.  Hence, that's your voice.  It's a simple concept, I know.  But hey I'm kinda slow!  

  

There's nothing wrong with that thought process, it's just that for me it goes against my spirit.  

Here's what I mean.  

What if instead of trying to find my voice or use my voice, I seek to use His voice when I write?  Would the words that are typed out on this screen be different?  More useful?

How about these thoughts....

What if in ministry we make the choice to rely on the Lord's strength rather than our own?

Ministry is Not About Us

I recently spent quite a bit of hours and days working on the technical side of this blog, and in case you didn't know, this on-line space is a ministry.  In a nutshell, here's what happened.  I updated my old site and then everything went haywire.  But you, dear reader, couldn't see the issues because the problems were behind the scenes.

For days I worked to fix it.  Then my Beloved worked to fix it.  Then we called our hosting company to try to fix.  We even considered purchasing something, yep you guessed it, to try to fix it.  And of course I prayed for the Lord to fix it.  In the process, I felt like I had become a graduate of ITT Technical Institute because of all the research, repair and time involved in order to rectify the situation.

Being that I am not a computer programmer, a graphic designer, or a web site developer, nor do I want to become any of those things, goodness, it took me years to figure out how to check my voice mail on my cellphone, I soon realized that what I was doing started to make me feel like I was building this ministry for me, rather than the Lord.

Sure, the blogging program that I was working on gave me more possibilities than a simpler one, but at the same time, it also gave me more complications, which translated into more headaches, hair loss, and less time with the Lord.  It felt like the ministry was going to morph into an idol if I wasn't careful.

So, I started to examine what I was doing and why I was doing it.
Why did I feel like I needed a better program?
Is bigger, better, and faster necessarily needed in order for me to minister in Jesus' name, or was I more concerned about my name? 
Who was I trying to tell others about?
What was my original goal when I started in ministry in the first place?

What was it that God was calling me to do?
The answer was simple.

• To write on His behalf.
• To proclaim His name.

But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;  1 Peter 2:9

• To lift Him up for all to see.

"And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself."  John 12:32

It's easy to get caught up in ministry and unknowingly lose sight of our first love. We can inadvertently have the wrong focus, a wrong heart and quite possibly unrealistic expectations and thus what was meant for good, turns into self worship.

Ministry is not meant for us to receive glory, but rather it is meant for God to receive the glory.

Do a heart check to make sure your motives are pure in whatever ministry God has called you to.  Here's some questions to ask yourself:

1. Why are you involved in your particular ministry?  Is it because you're needed, loved, and accepted there?  Or perhaps you shine in that position?  Or is it because God has called you to it?  There is a difference.  One will draw you to the Lord and the other will focus more on 'self'.
2. Does spending time on what you're doing draw you and others closer to the Lord or further away from Him?
3. Whose ministry is it anyways?  Yours or the Lord's?

All these questions helped me in making my decision.  I needed a blogging program that was simpler; one that kept my focus on Christ and the calling at hand.  I needed a tool that made it easier for me to concentrate on building His kingdom rather than my own.

Let me leave you with these thoughts:

Ministry is not about us but all too often self gets in the way.  Our pride creeps in just like it did with the disciples when they argued about which one of them was the greatest.

After they arrived at Capernaum and settled in a house, Jesus asked his disciples, "What were you discussing out on the road? "But they didn't answer, because they had been arguing about which of them was the greatest.He sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, "Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else."  Mark 9:33-35

Ministry is not about how good we are.  It's not about how spiritually deep we are.  It's not about how committed to the Lord we are or even how spiritually gifted we are, because all these things come from the Lord.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.  James 1:17

Rather ministry should be purely about pouring our lives out for Jesus Christ.


Live a poured out life for the Master,

A New Home

Perhaps you have noticed that things look a little different on this site?  They are because it's like I've moved to a new house.  And anytime one moves to a new home, you still need to live in it, in spite of it's unpacked boxes or rooms that need to be cleaned and remodeled.  

I need to do those things on my new blog home as well, and of course all those things take time.  There are hundreds (yes, hundreds!) of links on posts that don't work that I need to fix, along with images that need to be re-loaded.  So, I'll keep unpacking and cleaning my home here and when I've accomplished some of that I'll do some remodeling as well!

In the meantime, I hope you don't mind showing up at my on-line house amidst boxes and unorganized rooms.  I guess I could've gotten my place in perfect order before you showed up, but I've stopped living a life of ideal perfection a long time ago!

So I appreciate you moving with me and the graciousness extended when you can't seem to find a thing in this new home of The Alabaster Jar.

Live a poured out life for the Master,

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Why I Write Controversial Posts

So I have been asked a few questions by one of my readers and since we needed to put the radio show on the back-burner for now, I decided to answer her questions via my blog.

Jolene, so many of things you say are controversial and I do not agree with all of them and I LOVE IT! So many christian women who blog stick to the domestic arts, praising home-school, and quoting their favorite, non-controversial, bible verses. There is nothing wrong with that, you can tell many of these women have beautiful hearts to share. But I want something more. I want a post that makes me think, brings to attention a scripture I had not considered in a certain situation, or challenges a commonly held belief. I was wondering if, during your radio show, you and your husband could discuss how you decide what to share in a public forum and how you remain committed to submitting to your husband’s will and God’s will. Is there ever a time you feel compelled to share something where your husband advises against it, or ever a time your husband calls you to write something that you feel is beyond your comfort level?

First let me give you the reasons why I blog or speak to begin with.  In fact, I will also tell you what I won't or don't do with my blog because this helps me to explain myself as well.   Yes, the fact that I do this when asked most questions drives my husband crazy!

I have been blogging now for a year and I started doing so because God called me to write.  At the time I did not know what writing for Him looked like.  In fact, I had never even read blogs when I started on this journey.  The times I did come across a blog or two is when I did a google search for a recipe, but all I wanted was the recipe, not the 2 or 3 paragraphs the blogger wrote about her day or how she was feeling.   In a nutshell, I was really a blogging newbie when I started this ministry.  So, I had to continually seek the Lord (still do) to find out what He wanted from me.  I needed to put on blinders as well, because I have learned that there are many, many reasons why people blog and I didn't want to get caught up with what everyone else was doing.  I wanted to do what my Father has called me to do and nothing else.

Photo Source

What I don't do with my blog:

• I am not an aspiring writer, and therefore, I don't blog for the purpose of getting my name out.  I am not here to hone my skills because writing is not my thing; it's not my passion.   However, this is the platform that God has me using to lift Him up for all to see.  My passion is to encourage, equip, and inspire others to live for Jesus Christ, (and from what I've heard from some of my readers, I can now add 'challenge' to that list as well. :))  Some write a blog because they'd love to be a writer.  I say, to each his own.
  

"And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself."  John 12:32

• I do not blog for profit nor do I intend to.  There are many wonderful, God-fearing women who do, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!  They are using their time and talents to build a cottage industry for their family.  That is where God has called them, not me.

• Some women blog to keep a record of their life or to share their life with others.  Again, that is not the reason why I started this blog, because I just don't roll that way!  However, I am learning that people do want to know more about my life seeing how I have shared my story of trials.  Again, I do it with the intentions of  drawing them closer to Jesus Christ.

• Some blog because it is a cathartic experience.  As they write their words out it becomes very therapeutic for them.  When I started this ministry, I did not believe what I wrote would minister to me.  But I was dead wrong about that!  Many, many times as I am writing a post and I can't form my words for nothing, and my mind is a jumbled mess of thoughts, I wait for the Lord to show up and do His thing.  And of course He does and then all of a sudden there is this post!  I don't know how it happens.  I just sit down with thoughts swirling in my brain and because I don't feel like I know how to write, I just give my computer over to the Lord (after all, it is His ministry)....and then something miraculous happens.  Words spill on to the page.  Sometimes painful words.  Gut-wrenching, tear-filled words are typed out.  Sometimes beautiful, life-breathing words.  Words that edify and encourage.  Words that I have no idea where they came from.... appear on the screen.  It is not I who wrote those words, but 'The Great I Am', the Almighty God, the Lover of My Soul.  So, I have found that within this ministry, God ministers to me.  There have been numerous occasions that when I have finished reading the post I just wrote, that I am in tears.  My Redeemer soothes my soul.  He tells me He loves me and reminds me that everything is going to be okay. Even though I am ministered to by the Lord in this experience, I do not write for this reason.  Again, there can be many women out there who blog specifically because of the healing and/or ministering it brings to them, but that is not the main reason why I write.

Now that I have told you why I don't blog for certain reasons, here is the number one reason why I do write...To do the will of My Father!

So, the reader's question is,

"How do I decide what to share in a public forum?"

I have no formula for this answer.  I just listen to the Lord.  If God is calling me to write a difficult, controversial post, which He does sometimes, then I write it (sometimes with kicking, pleading and screaming!)  If I choose not to, then I won't have peace in my spirit because I am not submitting to His will.  I'll lose sleep over this, btw!  And if there are two things that I'm not fond of, one is wrestling with my Father and the other is a lack of sleep!  So, the controversial posts are written and it is well with my soul.  Yes, later I will be attacked and criticized for what was said but I need to remind myself that they are attacking Christ, not me.  It's not easy to do, and no, I have not mastered this!

My husband's thoughts on the controversial posts are this....What I write is not my message, but rather, it is the Lord's.  My Beloved is always supportive of me tackling the difficult issues.  In fact, he feels that my personality and my voice, is made to do just that.  He leans more towards me writing the deeper, challenging posts than I do.  Funny thing about it is, a few of the posts that have brought some controversy are usually his promptings or his salacious titles!

Question:  Has there ever been a time my husband calls me to write something that I feel is beyond my comfort level?

Um, ya, that's a resounding yes!  I sometimes feel my husband thinks I'm some mighty she-warrior for the Lord, ready to go into battle looking to defeat a giant as big as Goliath!  In reality, I am just a woman trying to live by faith, looking to please the Lord, wanting to be a poured out offering for my Savior....and one who gets hurt, rejected and cries.  Even though my husband does not blog, he is a vital part of this ministry because I couldn't do this without him.  The Lord has placed him by my side specifically to encourage me while I step out in faith.  God knew that I would get attacked as I spoke/wrote His message, so he gave me a husband who is designed to uplift and minister to me when I am broken and wounded because I have embraced this call.  As any warrior that goes out to battle, we come back wounded, hurt, and bleeding and God has strategically placed my man (along with a few dear women) right by my side where they use the gifts that the Lord has given to them just for this purpose and all for His glory.   More times than not, my Beloved is always the one pressing me to further step out in faith, rather than it being the other way around.  But again, he knows that the Lord has called him to minister to me for God's glory.  However, he has also learned to protect my spiritual well-being and he has figured out that I can only handle so many attacks all at once!

Question:  Is there ever a time you feel compelled to share something where your husband advises against it?

I can't ever think of a time when I felt more compelled to share something that my Beloved was not in agreement with.  However, there have been times when he has told me not to read certain comments, emails, go into forums, etc., because he knew how it would negatively effect my spiritual well-being and he is not interested in having that happen.  Been there, done that!  So, I learned to heed his words because he is wanting to protect me, not hinder me in ministry.  In fact, there have been times when he has asked me for my computer so he could reply to comments/emails and I have just handed it over to him without question.  Again, he has been placed by my side to protect me and encourage me.  He's got my back, therefore, I have learned not to control him.

Question:  How do you remain committed to submitting to God’s will?

He died for me.  His blood was poured out for me.  He hung on the cross for me.  He redeemed and restored this former woman at the well.  He adopted me into His family.  He has given me eternal life.  The least I can do for my Savior is pour out my life for Him and build up His kingdom....regardless of how uncomfortable that feels and how many people (Christians or non-Christians, alike) disapprove of me.  I certainly have not perfected this.  I fail daily, but daily I try again, and again.

Question:  How do you remain committed to submitting to your husband's will?

Again, we have learned that within this ministry, God has called me to write and God has called my man to minister to me.  It is an interesting ministry to say the least!  There are certainly moments when my Beloved has asked me to write something I am completely uncomfortable with, but I have to remind myself that God has placed him as my headship.  Ultimately, if I get attacked, (and I get discouraged and cry) then my Beloved comes to my side and comforts and encourages me; that's his role. It has been a learning process for both of us.  We have had conversations of what I need from him in order to keep sticking my neck out for Christ, and how I get tired of being stoned by the brethren.  I am not interested in running ahead of my husband, because if I do, I am alone and unprotected.  So, we go together because we are 'one'.

Believe it or not, I don't seek out to write controversial posts, I just write what God has put on my heart knowing full well there will be attacks.   I would be spiritually naive to think that wouldn't happen.  I am sure the enemy would love for me to keep my mouth shut, but then again, we are in a spiritual battle!

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.  Ephesians 6:12

I can't help but think about Ezekiel and Paul and all they went through for the Lord.  The call is to be obedient, not comfortable!

How about you?  Is God calling you to do something that is difficult or against the norm?  Will you heed the call even if it makes you feel uneasy?

A Biblical Blueprint for Married Women

We have no reason to be ignorant about God's Word regarding what we, as wives, should be doing with our lives.  Here's a list to put things in proper order:

A Biblical Blueprint for Married Women

1.  God

She puts God first in her life.

"You shall have no other gods before Me.”  Exodus 20:3   “And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment.”  Mark 12:30 “If you love me, you will obey what I command.”  John 14:15

2.  Husband

A husband and wife are one, and it is the most important ‘earthly’ relationship. “And the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.”  Mark 10:8

She is a helper to her husband. "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." Genesis 2:18

She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12

She is respectful.  Let the wife see that she respects her husband.  Eph. 5:33

She is submissive.  Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.  Colossians 3:18

She is to be obedient to her husband.  Titus 2:5

3.  Children

She raises and trains up godly children.

“Didn't the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. Malachi 2:15

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.  Proverbs 22:6

She is to love her children.Titus 2:4

4.  Home

She manages the affairs of her home.

She is to be a keeper at home.  Titus 2:5

She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Proverbs 31:27

5.  Outside Ministries

She gives of her talents and gifts.

The older women are to be teachers of good things.  Titus 2:3

She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.  Proverbs 31:20

6.  Enterprise

She is creative and capable.

She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard.  Proverbs 31:16

She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants.  Proverbs 31:24

So why align your life like this? So the Word of God is not blasphemed.  Titus 2:5

Live a poured out life for the Master,

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Wrestling with God

The other day I wrestled with God from morning til night.  I was hearing His voice loud and clear but my flesh and insecurities were speaking louder still.  I guess I was hoping that what I was feeling would change His mind about what He was asking me to do!

It didn't work.  His mind didn't change.

So I battled with Him.  Sometimes reasoning with Him, sometimes pleading with Him and at other times I asked Him if He could give me a different message to deliver to the saints.

Source: Pinterest

 One minute, I was like Jacob who wrestled with God and the next minute I was like Jonah who ran in the complete opposite direction of where God called him.  Yet, my heart was to be like Isaiah who said with a willing and open heart, "Here I am Lord, send me."

Thoughts and questions swirled through my mind:

"How do I reconcile a bold voice that is paired with a sensitive, fragile, and sometimes, insecure heart?"

"How can I diminish the one and strengthen the other?"  "Is that possible?"  "Or is one of the spirit and the other of the flesh?" 

"How do I not say what I am compelled to say?"  "Can I just stick my fingers in my ear and pretend I can't hear the voice of the Lord?"

"Perhaps I can just lead a nice, quiet and non-confrontational life?"

"Can you give me a different ministry, Lord, maybe one that won't hurt so much?"

How about the worship ministry?  Everyone loves to sing praise and worship songs.  Can that be my ministry, and by the way, can you teach me to sing?

His response, "That is not where I called you, Daughter. I gave you your personality, your giftings, your afflictions and convictions, all of which are to be used for Me, to please Me."

It was no coincidence that day that I happened to hear Pastor James MacDonald talk about his own experience as God called him to do something difficult; to confront and rebuke another believer.

James told the story of how he didn't want to and how he hoped the whole situation would just go away.  But God being God, kept prompting His son to rebuke a man he hardly knew.  What's so interesting about this story was that God made it so clear to James as to what to say, and the words were not nice, but rather offensive!

The Lord told him, "tell this man he is a shameless, self-promoter."

"Lord, can you go over that again, because I don’t want to tell him," James replied.

This is what I love about the story (and what the Lord taught me).

James asked the man what it meant to speak the truth in love, (the man used to be a pastor but left the pulpit to publish his books and thus, promoted himself as a result), seeing how he was a former pastor, he was familiar with the verse.

"Love means to put your needs above mine,"  James said.

James went on to tell the man his needs,  "I need you to like me, to respect me and to respect my ministry."

"If I speak the truth in love, I am risking those things.  I am risking rejection.  I am risking persecution.  I am risking my reputation and ministry." ~James MacDonald

When I heard those words it was like the Lord put a blanket over my wrestling soul knowing that I needed to be comforted, knowing that I needed to be wrapped up in His words, knowing that I needed His love and stamp of approval to go where He was sending me.Now based on what I just listened to, one would've thought that I easily submitted to what God was calling me to do.  Ya, well, I'm not a quick learner because I still wrestled with Him!

In my mind I felt that it was appropriate for a pastor to confront and rebuke, but not so much for a woman, namely, me.

If I wasn't convicted enough based on what I just heard, my day was going to get worse because I was  headed out the door for a field trip to the Open Doors, which served persecuted Christians worldwide.

Great men and women of faith laid their lives on the line for Christ in order to preach the Gospel and distribute bibles. Some were martyred for their faith and others were beaten and thrown in prisons.

One man, named Brother Mac was thrown in prison for 30 years because of just that.  At the end of his life he said,

"If I was given a second chance to repeat my decision to follow Christ, even knowing 30 years of prison lay ahead of me, I would make the same decision for Christ as I did before."

I was totally convicted!  What God was calling me to do was nothing compared to what He prompted in the hearts of these believers.

He was asking me to speak the truth in love; to lay down my life and take the time to pour into others knowing full well that they may not receive the message.  This would result in me being rejected.

Can I have a selfless concern for others?  Or am I too self-centered?  Too insecure?  Too worried about what others would say or think about me?  Would the sting of rejection and persecution cause me to not obey the voice of the Lord?

For many years I prayed for healing upon my sick body so I could be used by the Lord and during those years I prayed for the Lord to increase my borders in ministry.   Today, He is doing just that.  I have seen His hand time and time again in my life.  But here I am wrestling with Him and fretting about where He is sending me.

Will I respond like Caleb and Joshua when they spied out the land of Canaan or will I respond like the other 10 spies?

We entered the land you sent us to explore, and it is indeed a bountiful country—a land flowing with milk and honey.  Numbers 13:27  But the people living there are powerful, and their towns are large and fortified. We even saw giants there.  Numbers 13:28

 "Let's go at once to take the land," he said. "We can certainly conquer it!"   Numbers 13:30

Do not rebel against the LORD, and don't be afraid of the people of the land. They are only helpless prey to us! They have no protection, but the LORD is with us! Don't be afraid of them!"   Numbers 14:9

The message that God has given me is not a popular one and at times, it is an offensive one.

To whom can I speak and give warning? Who will listen to me? Their ears are closed so they cannot hear. The word of the LORD is offensive to them; they find no pleasure in it.  Jeremiah 6:10

I won't be received by all and many will criticize me for saying it.  What they don't realize is that I am speaking the truth in love as I willingly lay aside my needs to be accepted and loved by others.  It's certainly not a ministry that many would sign up for that's for sure!  But my life is not my own, it was bought at a price and I want to pour it out for Christ and I want to obey Him.  When my life is over and I am standing face to face with my Creator, I can only hope to hear,

'Well done, my good and faithful servant.  Matthew 25:21

Perhaps God has placed in your heart a message that is hard to deliver or a ministry that He wants you involved in, and you too are wrestling with the Lord.  Do you see giants in the land as well?  Or do you see a land flowing with milk and honey?

It may be hard to enter into the land, but you have the protection of the Lord.

Live a poured out life for the Master,

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Why I Write

Today I am writing and linking-up for the Blog Bash Party over at Women Living Well.  Courtney has asked for us bloggers to give her and her community a little information about us and what type of blogger we are, where we blog from, and what's the inspiration behind our blog.

So here are my answers to her questions (plus it will give you a glimpse into my heart and life as well).

The reason why I blog:

Because God has called me to write on His behalf; to be His vessel.  My voice, or should I say, my typed words, is the instrument that He has called me to use (whether I like it or not!)   My Father has tugged on my heart asking me to share my story, my struggles, my pain, my heartache, my tears, my fears, and my failures to His daughters. (Can you say, vulnerable and awkward?) 

"To obey is better than sacrifice."  1 Samuel 15:22

Plus, He has asked me to share the insights that He has given to me during my journey of following Him, in hopes that it will offer you guidance as you face your own trials and storms.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."  Proverbs 27:17

There is NO other reason for me to write, because after all, I know my story and it is not like I need to hear it again (and nor would I want to!)  I am not in search of fame, status or wealth,  I just write for my King. (period!)

My Inspiration

My Savior, My King and My God.  Apart from Him I can do nothing.

 

I write to the female Believer:

• Sometimes a broken one  (if we look deep into our hearts, we will soon realize that we are ALL broken!)


• Sometimes to one who is discouraged and tired in her journey of following Christ


• Sometimes to one who is married or to one who is single


• And sometimes I write to one who needs to be equipped with the Word of God so she can apply it to her own life

But even if you don't know Christ and you are longing for the unconditional love, joy, peace and comfort that only a Savior can bring, you can find Him here as well!

In essence, my blog would fall under two categories.  The first category would be the  Devotional/Inspirational blog.

Perhaps there are times in your life that you have found yourself as the weary, Christian traveler.  The woman, who may consider her Christian walk to be more like a hike; an arduous climb over steep mountains and rocky terrain.  A daughter of the King that is seeking, desiring, and thirsting to find relief, comfort, guidance, and assurance as she learns to navigate her way through the hills and valleys of her journey.  Longing to find Christ.  Hoping to walk by faith and not by sight.  Yearning to dwell in His Presence.  Learning to live a victorious life in Christ in spite of all of our defeats.  (You can learn more my defeats and struggles here.)

I desire to encourage you and inspire you to live a life that is poured out to Christ regardless of your circumstances, because that is when His glory is revealed the most!  It certainly isn't an easy thing to do, in fact, sometimes  that 'die to self' thing just kills me!  

The second category would be Marriage and Family.  I ABSOLUTELY LOVE to talk (write) to other sisters about having a Godly marriage!  Our marriages can bring sooo much honor to the Lord especially when our focus is on Christ and not on our spouse.  When our marriage is strengthened and built on the Rock, our love will naturally overflow into the lives of our children drawing them closer to their parents, which will allow us to draw them closer to the Savior.

Where I write from:

My 'desk' is my laptop computer which now sits on boxes from our recent move.

 

When I write: (although this question was not asked, I am going to answer it)

I have been blogging for about 7 months now and when I began I didn't even know what a 'post' was!  (For those of you that don't know a thing about blogging, a 'post' is just an article that the author has written.)  I write when time permits, (usually once or twice a week) knowing full well that my first ministry is to my husband, then my boys-who I homeschool, and then the keeping of my home, (plus, I move a lot so that keeps me busy!)  Hopefully when the storms of my own life settle a bit, I can spend more time in this on-line, writing ministry.

I am humbled and blessed that you have chosen to spend your precious time learning about me.  Perhaps the Lord may have plans for you and I to become on-line friends!

 

Whoever Said Ministry is Easy

“I feel like I am about to perform on the stage of America’s Got Talent, yet, I have no talent.”  Those were the words that I said to my husband this morning as we drove to church.

Let me explain what happened. 

Yesterday I sent an email to a fellow blogger, stating, “If the Lord leads you to use me as a contributing blogger for your series, so be it.”  I fully thought that this blogger would graciously tell me, “thanks, but no thanks”.  However that was not the case.

She replied the same day and said that was awesome and she thanked me for being a guest blogger!  She put me down on her schedule to have my post on her blog for October 8^th and asked if I could have my article in about a week, along with my bio and picture. (gulp)

Yes, I answered God’s call but I did not expect this outcome!

My concerns:  How am I going to be able to do all of this?  And can I do it all before my deadline? 

I live in a home with not just 1 family, but 2!  There are 5 homeschooled kids who run through the house day in and day out, there are two women in the kitchen fixing meals, doing dishes, sharing the washer and dryer and two schedules to plan around, not to mention the 3 animals that live with us.  There’s no peace and quiet around here because it is like a 3-ring circus!  How am I going to hear myself think, let alone hear the Lord speak to me as I write this article?

What did I just get myself into?  I thought.

I share the news with my husband and he is thrilled for this ministry opportunity.  I tell him the topic is Marriage, and then as I started to share my fears, I begin to break down and cry.

“I can’t do this, I say.”

He thought I was being ridiculous.  “What do you mean you can’t do this?” 

One of my favorite topics to share and teach on is Marriage, yet I was filled with fear.

He said to me, “If there was any subject for you to write on that you know best, it is the topic of a Godly marriage.  You’ve written on it before and you’ve even spoken on it at workshops!  You’ve led Bible studies and you’re always encouraging women to be respectful and submissive to their husbands.”  “You love to teach on Marriage!”  (We even have plans in the future to write a book on marriage.)

“I know, I know, I tell him.”  But my issue is not that I don’t understand God’s Word regarding a Godly marriage; it’s just that when I write, it is God who leads me.  I don’t write with deadlines or specific topics, or a certain amount of words, etc.

I’m not in constraints when I write, because my writing ministry is Spirit-led. It felt like I was being forced to wear a size 3 pair of pants, when in reality, I’m a size 12.

Plus, I tell him, “I am writing with other bloggers; women who are writers and who have been doing this blogging thing for a long time!  I have only been doing this for 6 months!  I feel like now I’m playing in the ‘big leagues’ yet I am still trying to figure out how to hold a bat!

“Not to mention, I’ll be in the spotlight more and I’m not a spotlight kinda gal.  Did you know I need a bio and a picture of me?  This is all really uncomfortable for me," I tell him.

I think I started to hyperventilate.  I couldn’t breathe.  Why did I sign up for this?

Can God meet my deadline, I thought?

Sure, I could write some Scriptures and thoughts on marriage, but I want to have the Lord move before me because I want His thoughts, not my own. 

He knows what women will be reading the post that day. 

He knows whose lives need to be touched. 

He knows what marriages are suffering. 

He knows….

You might be wondering why this is such a big deal to me. 

Because I am about my Father’s business and I want to please the Lord.  I want to see His daughters strengthened, equipped, and encouraged so they too will want to pour out their lives like the perfume in an Alabaster Jar.

Well of course the Lord spoke to my anxious heart.  

Daughter, turn to your online friends.   Ask them for prayer because I will move.  The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.  James 5:16 Get their thoughts, insights and desires of what they would like to read about on the topic of marriage.

Okay Lord.

So, I will be guest posting at the Time-Warp Wife’s blog for her challenge called, “31 Days of Love”. Her challenge is for women to live beyond themselves, put aside their preconceived ideas of what romance should look like, and seek out true love that is sacrificial and intentional. 

For those that are willing to graciously pray for me, here are some specifics:

• ·       For the Lord to breathe all over me with not only the topic He wants me to write about but also the message that He wants me to convey to His daughters so their marriages would bring Him glory.

• ·       For me to be still so I can hear from the Lord (and for me not eat too much chocolate due to my anxiety (smile).  You know I just had to throw that in there!)

• ·       For the article to be short in length and the message to be clear.

• ·       For me to meet the deadline

• ·       For the readers to be drawn closer to the Lord.

There are various sub-topics to write about within the topic of Marriage.  My post has to be short so I can’t address all of these ideas.  So, if you’d give me your time, I’d like to get your perspective.

Here are some thoughts that have been swirling around in my mind:

• ·       Building Up Your Husband

• ·       What Does Marital Oneness Look Like?

• ·       Seeking and Obtaining Marital Oneness

• ·       Leaving and Cleaving

• ·       When You No Longer Respect Your Husband

• ·       Disillusioned, Disappointed and Discontented with Your Husband

• ·       Anger and Bitterness in Your Marriage

• ·       Fixing What is Broken

• ·       When Your Husband is Not Being the Spiritual Leader of the Home

• ·       Any other ideas

I would so appreciate it if you can leave me a comment.  Reply as ‘anonymous’ if you’d like or you can email me directly at:  respectyourhusband{at}joleneengle{dot}org.

So, I am casting my bread in hopes that the Lord's ministry will reach many.  Cast your bread upon the waters, for you will find it after many days. Ecclesiastes 11:1
 

 

The Work of Ministry Part 1

"And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ."  Ephesians 4:11,12

Isn't it nice to be needed?  To feel appreciated.  To use your talents, skills and spiritual gifts.  How about this one...to be used by the Creator of the Universe to further His kingdom and to bring Him glory?  I love ministry.  I love being used by the Lord to make an impact on His behalf for His children, but ministry is not always a wonderful feeling, it also takes a lot of hard work and dedication.  If you have been following the Lord for any amount of time, surely you have been involved in some type of  ministry during your walk with our precious Savior.  If you are a wife and mother like me, you serve Jesus as you minister to your family on a daily basis;  and yes, that includes cleaning toilets!

I think it is easy for us Christian women to often forget what are the main priorities that Christ would have us put first in our lives before we over commitment ourselves in various outside ministries.  Let's look into the scriptures and see what the Word of God has to say about a woman's role and her character.

"...the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed."  Titus 2:3-5

Do you see the order of this verse regarding what a godly woman should be doing?

First:  It talks about our godly character, hence our relationship with the Lord.

Second:  we are to love our husband.

Third: we are to love our children.

Fourth:  we are to work on our godly character again and we are also called to be homemakers.

That's a lot of ministry for each day!  I get tired just thinking about all my responsibilities!

Depending on the season of life that you are in, it will determine how much time you can allot for outside ministries.  Obviously if you are raising babies and toddlers right now, that in itself will require a lot of your time at home.  If you have chosen to homeschool your children, that will limit your involvement to outside ministries as well.

Listen to what the Lord is telling you.  If you have been serving in an outside ministry which is taking you from your first ministries, be obedient to the Lord's prompting and step down from your involvement, (more on this topic will be covered in The Work of Ministry Part 2). On the other hand, perhaps the Lord is telling you to get involved in a ministry, step out in faith and answer His call.

Most importantly as we pursue the Lord we want to honor Him by being obedient to His word.  So, in a nutshell, love Christ, love your husband and children and keep your home....then serve others!

I have just scratched the surface regarding this topic and I will write more in the coming days, but for now, my first ministries are calling me!