If You're Pure or Not, Before Marriage

I was 16 yrs. old when I gave up my virginity.  Yep, you read that right.  I gave it up, I didn't lose it because I made a choice.

Even though the teen-aged boy pressured me and I was scared to do 'that', I gave in anyways because I was more afraid that he would break up with me if I didn't.  What can I say, I was a stupid girl.

I gave up my body because I longed to be loved.  And of course he said he loved me, because that's what all teen-aged boys say, don't they? 

Later he broke my heart; shattered it is a better choice of words.  It was in pieces for years.  And then I became numb.  Numb to so many men, so many 'experiences'.  I even married a man I was never in love with; after all, how could I be when my heart was still in the hands of the one I gave my virginity to. Yet marriage at that time of my life provided an escape for me.

26 years have passed and it still hurts to think about that young teen-aged girl, the one who gave part of me away to another that was not committed to me for the rest of my life.

Don't Put Your Best Foot Forward Before Marriage

One morning during my single years, my husband, who at that time, was a man I was just getting to know, decided to go on a run with me.  After we had finished, we sat down on a curb by the side of the road and chatted for a bit.  I was covered in sweat, had my hair up in a pony tail and I certainly wasn't wearing any makeup.  At the time of our rest, I took off one of my shoes and sock then showed him my bare foot and asked him a question.

Is this athlete's foot?

He nearly choked on what I asked and then proceeded to laugh out loud.  I, on the other hand, didn't understand what he thought was so funny, after all, my foot itched and I thought he might know what was wrong with it.

Now I realize if I had some Feminine Etiquette Coach by my side she probably would have rebuked me in that moment because I wasn't acting all proper.  No, I wasn't acting proper, I was being myself.  After all, I was seated by a man that I saw as friend, not someone I was trying to impress by putting my best foot forward, rather, just my athlete's foot!

I just squealed with delight when I saw this picture of married feet!

The #1 Purpose of Marriage...

To Glorify God. 

Yep, that's the #1 reason.

Now, of course there are many other wonderful reasons for marriage like:

• So man is not alone.
• So we can have s*xual intimacy with another human being.
• So we can make babies or raise babies to be Christ-followers.
• So we can be in ministry together.

God did not create the institution of marriage just for us, but rather He created it so we can glorify Him through our marriage. 
 

"All things were created by him, and for him."  Colossians 1:16

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."  Ephesians 2:10

What Not to Settle for In Your Future Husband

I'm continuing my Smitten for Him Single Series, and today I'm discussing what not to settle for in your future husband. 

As a single person, one of the most important decisions in your life that you'll ever make is who you're going to marry.  Marriage can be wonderful and glorious when two believers walk towards pleasing the Lord in their lives....or it could feel like you're living a life long prison sentence being that God hates divorce.  So choosing your mate is a big deal so you probably don't want to make a mistake! 

(And for those that are already married that are reading this....perhaps you feel that you didn't make the wisest choice in your spouse.  If that's how you feel remember a few things about our great big God:  It is His job to redeem, restore, and transform lives so don't lose heart regarding your marriage!) 

So back to my single friend (and any mama who'd like to share these truths with her kids)...

• What if you had someone in your life who knew exactly what to look for in your future spouse?  Would you listen to that person? 
• And what if that person also knew exactly what you needed in your future husband?  Would you take their advice regarding their choice for you? 
• And lastly, what if that person knew exactly where to find that person?  Again, would you heed their counsel? 

Perhaps you can call this Person a Matchmaker?

My sweet single sister, did you know that God has ALL those answers?  After all, our God is all-knowing, He is all-powerful, He spoke the world into existence, and He created you and knows the number of hairs on your head.  Not only can He do all things but He is the Perfect Matchmaker for you and your future husband!

To Date or Not to Date, That is the Question

In this post, I'm continuing my Smitten for Him Single Series, and today I'm tackling the question: To Date or Not to Date?

Dating is very common in our culture today, in fact, even young teenagers date, which by the way, I'm not an advocate of.  Casual dating for fun can lead to lots of heartache, s*xually related activities and/or pre-marital s*x.  None of these things are beneficial nor spiritually uplifting.  And God's word is clear to abstain from sexual intercourse until marriage.

But let's also address the emotional side to dating.  Perhaps you know how it feels to get dumped by a guy.  Your heart hurts because you've given him a piece of it and now you feel unloved and rejected.  Or maybe you've dumped the guy.  Oh, that is always an uncomfortable experience!  Now imagine for a second the way that guy felt?  Did you ever stop to think that his heart could hurt as bad as your heart hurt when you got dumped?  Now think of him as a brother in the Lord.  Are you sad for him just yet?

4 Things You Need to Do Before You Meet Prince Charming

Recently, I've had some single women contact me asking if I could write a few posts just for them. Being that most of my readers are married women, I figured that if you're a mama, you could tuck some of these thoughts away and share them with your daughters when the time is right.  And if you're a boy mama like me, you can share some of these same principles and tweak them for your godly man in training, as well.

 

Because many of my marriage posts often deal with problems in wedded bliss, I wanted to give these single sisters a head-start so they can lay the proper foundation for their future marriage.  God designed marriage to be good.  He designed it to be a reflection of the love in which Christ has for the Church but unfortunately many Christian marriages do not reflect that kind of love and it truly breaks my heart. 

So what do you think?  Shall we encourage these women to have a beautiful start to what could be a glorious marriage?  Let's be Titus 2 women together, so feel free to chime in at the comment section if you have more counsel to give. (And pass this post on to others that might benefit from it.)