10 Ways to Deal with Your Attitude When Faced with Financial Concerns...and a Marital Oneness Monday Link Up!

I once knew a Christian woman who was planning on leaving her husband because of financial problems.  Our world's were very similar.  Her man was self-employed and he was struggling in this economy, as was mine.  They had lost their home and we had lost our home.   Life became difficult for her and I completely understood how she was feeling.  However, she came to me one day saying that she might leave her husband.  I was shocked and dumbfounded by what I heard.  She told me her reasons for doing so was because her husband wasn't being the spiritual leader of the home.

Surprised by what she said, I asked her a question.  "What's your definition of a husband being the spiritual leader of the home?"

Her response, "He provides for me financially.  And I didn't sign up for this."  (She was used to fine things as well as having what she wanted when she wanted them.)

Well, I let her know that her understanding of her husband being the spiritual leader of the home wasn't biblically correct.  And if she chose to divorce her husband over finances, then she was outside of the will of God.

Yes, a husband is to provide for his family, but sometimes things happen for a time, but that doesn't mean he is no longer appointed by God as the head of the home.

A man's spiritual leadership is not defined by how much money is in his bank account.  His spiritual headship is defined by God, the Maker of the Universe.

How to Obtain Financial Security...and a Marital Oneness Monday Link Up!

I stood in the kitchen that afternoon preparing dinner as usual when my man and I were discussing our current financial dilemma...  Our problem of the day?  We couldn't afford to pay our rent.  It wasn't as if we were out spending money left and right because that certainly wasn't the case.  The problem was his income wasn't enough.  Actually, that's putting it nicely.  He was more like unemployed rather than self-employed.

Then he asked me something that I'll never forget.

"Don't you ever long for stability?"

Well, I laughed at his question and then I responded directly to him.

"No offense, but I gave up on looking to you for financial stability a long time ago.  It's the Lord I seek the financial stability from and I already have it.  In fact, our life couldn't get any more stable because it's built on a Rock!"  (Of course through the world's eyes if one were to look at our dire financial situation they'd think we were a bunch of religious fanatics.  Well, they'd be almost right, however, I prefer the term, "Jesus Freaks"!)

Now I didn't say those words to my man with the intention of insulting or offending him, my reasoning was quite the contrary.  I shared my direct viewpoint with him because one, he's a man and he speaks and hears 'direct language'.  And two, as his sister in the Lord, I wanted to encourage him, challenge him, and remind him to have a biblical viewpoint regarding our financial stability.  After all, as God's little sheep, we sometimes forget that our Shepherd is always with us.  Plus, as his wife, I wanted my Beloved to know that I did not want to add anymore pressure to the weight that he was already carrying on his shoulders.  I still valued him, respected him, and loved him just as much that day as the day I married him.   I didn't want our financial turmoil to define our commitment and love towards one another because I knew if I did, it would destroy our marriage.

If you've missed my earlier posts in this series, you can read Got Financial Concerns in Your Life? and Are You Living in Financial Uncertainty? to see what I've lived through as well as what the Lord has shown me regarding this very important topic.

Got Financial Concerns in Your Life?...and a Marital Oneness Monday Link Up!

Lately I've been receiving more and more emails from wives sharing about their money problems and the strains it has placed on their marriages.  Now of course I can totally understand this concern being that my Beloved and I have lived through an IRS audit, was dragged through a lawsuit, had our home foreclosed upon, couldn't afford to pay rent for the rental home we were living in, and then we had to live with friends.  But other than those few minor hiccups in our marriage, I totally get the strains these problems can place upon your marital union.  Yes, I said minor hiccups with complete sarcasm!

A Working Wife, Welfare, or a Wild Faith?

Today I am going to address one of my reader's questions in regards to becoming a working wife or the possibility of having to go on welfare. This will certainly be a controversial post, so please be kind as I try to share on a very sensitive issue.  Your graciousness is appreciated!

Hi Jolene,
I loved this post, (Becoming One with Your Man), especially where you talk about maintaining a oneness in marriage, even in the times when circumstances: health, finances, detractors, could very easily pull you apart. I have read in the past your convictions on staying at home to be a wife, mother, and homemaker and I applaud you for so overtly stating your beliefs backed by His word on this controversial issue. I recently read on another blog that I admire that author (a keeper at home) would not go to work unless her family was being faced with being on welfare. I have seen many close friends and family face this situation: the family facing public benefits as their only seeming option unless the wife decides to work outside of the home. Perhaps with today’s economy, money is the number one thing that drives a wedge between couples. How would you advise a Christian family contemplating going on welfare or having the wife go to work (assuming the husband was physically capable of working)? So many in our community are against government handouts, and for good reason. But this seems like a relevant issue to so many I love without a clear answer. Could you shed some light on what you would do in this situation?

~Felicity

This is a great question and one that is certainly relevant to many today, (myself included!)

For those of you that are new here, I am a married woman with children, and my husband is physically and mentally capable of working, yet our income is no longer what it once was.  However, just because that has changed, our convictions have not, and we are not willing to throw them out the window just because the economy has gotten tough and there's been a radical dip in our bank account. 

Also, I live in the land of opportunity; America- more specifically, Southern California.  Can it get any closer to living in the land of consumerism and materialism than that?

Where I live it is easy to buy into the lie that we should be filled with financial success.  We are conditioned into believing that by living in the land of opportunity that would equate to one being wealthy.  I have grown up in an area and an era where the women should be goal-oriented and career-driven.  By the way, I once held strongly to those views.  But today, I am saved, I am married, and I have children- therefore, my viewpoint is different from what I have been conditioned by.

As I turn the pages of The Good Book, what I find in there is God giving a totally different viewpoint from what society holds to- you can read my post, A Biblical Blueprint for Married Women to know more.  But God also gives us free will in making choices for our lives so that's where life gets a little more difficult in making the right, spiritually best decisions.  Note:  I said, spiritually best and not financially best; they are NOT the same.

Here' s the context for this counsel:

You're saved.  You're married.  Your husband is physically and mentally capable of providing for your family.  You're still raising your children and your husband does not want you to get a job, but you are flat broke!  I feel your pain.

What to do? What to do?

Source: healthyisalwaysbetter.tumblr.com via Jolene on Pinterest

You have 3 choices, 3 different paths:

Path #1, A Working Wife

First off, it is NOT a sin for a wife to work!  It is biblically lawful, but is it spiritually profitable for you to get a job?  That's the question to ask if you find yourself in a similar financial situation.

If you get a job will it draw you closer to the Lord?

If you get a job will it draw you closer to your husband?

If you get a job will it draw you closer to your children as you shepherd them towards Christ?

In case you were wondering.....I'm not superwoman.  I can't handle having a deep relationship with my Maker, my husband, my children (and home-educate them), be a keeper of the home, spend time in ministry AND get a job.  It's just not possible.  Not only that, but I do not believe that when I read the scriptures and apply it to my life today, that getting a job would be spiritually best for me and my family.

Would a job provide me comfort?  Of course, along with a few trips to Starbucks and some new clothes, and perhaps even a vacation!

Would a job give me a sense of financial stability?  Yes.  But in reality, the stability is false because I am only trusting in man to hand me a paycheck rather than Christ to provide for my needs. 

Would a job deepen my faith?  Sorry Charlie..but that's a big fat no!

So, Path #1-  The Working Wife Path,  it's a no-go for this woman!  My faith in Christ is too important to have it diminished by me getting a job, and the biblical priorities set forth for me as a wife and mother is a sacred calling.  I'll choose these all day long over comfort.  But don't get me wrong, there are days that I don't want to get out of bed or eat another bowl of beans again!

Note:  In the scriptures it talks about the Proverbs 31 Woman considering a field and buying it, along with selling linens and garments.  This woman is involved in cottage industry, but she is still under her husband's headship.  She is also still training and caring for her children, along with tending to her home.  I briefly touched on this topic in a former post and you can read it here.  In the future, I will expound on this topic.

Let's look at Path #2-  The Welfare Path

Some say go on welfare.  Yes, we clearly qualify, btw!

Some Christian women who are on welfare may be reading this and let me just say....I am not here to condemn nor criticize your decision, in any way, shape or form!  Please, please, please, know that!

Your husband is the spiritual leader of the home.  He is your headship.  He is the one to make those decisions for your family, and each family is different.  Some husbands are not believers and some are barely believing.  Some husbands want their children home-educated and some don't.  Some want their wives to work and some don't.  Some families have a blended family and there is another decision maker to consider in the equation.  Again, each family is different so my encouragement to you is to pray about your situation and ask for the Lord to guide your family in the decision-making process.

Personally, my husband and I do not feel that we should be on welfare and here are some of our reasons why, (they are in no specific order):

1. We would rather do our part as best we can and then have faith that the Lord would provide for us.


2. We wouldn't want to get used to the help/income from the State because it would hinder our 'faith' muscles- you know those times when you are leaning on Him because He is all you have, and when you do--your faith grows deeper.  We would rather be God-reliant rather than State-reliant, if that makes sense.


3. We want our lives separated from the State.  We are not interested in having the State involved in the affairs of our lives and dictating to us what we should and shouldn't be doing with our family.


4. We believe that as God's children, according to the Bible, it is the Church that should be caring for their own.

By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:16-18

Now, before your mind goes racing ahead thinking we are living off of our church, that's not the case.  Let me explain.  We have been attending our church for over 15 years, but not once in the last 5 years of our financial hardship have we asked the church for assistance- we didn't even seek out a food basket at Christmas time!  Yet, the Body of Christ has ministered to us in various ways and here's why-BECAUSE GOD KNOWS OUR NEEDS and He prompts His children!  He uses the Body of Christ to be His hands and feet.  This is not to say you shouldn't go to your church and share your situation- it's just that we haven't.  We took our situation straight to our Father, our CFO (Chief Financial Officer). :)

To some reading this, it won't make sense.  But we choose wild faith in the Great I Am over welfare.

Path #3- The Wild Faith Path

Source: 517creations.blogspot.com via Jolene on Pinterest

Is it easy to wait on the Lord?  Excuse for a moment while I cough up some flem over that question!

You know the answer.

Regardless of our trials, it is NEVER easy to wait on the Lord, and that whole 'Be Still and Know that I Am God, Thing' certainly isn't easy, either!  But I believe that is part of the sanctification process-- at least for me.

So, I choose a Wild Faith.  The type of faith that our forefathers like Abraham and Noah had.  Yes, I will be ridiculed by others, non-christian and christian alike, but wasn't Noah mocked for his faith as well?  I wouldn't be surprised if those who lived near him coined the term, 'the village idiot' just for him, as he was building a very large boat for almost a hundred years when it hadn't rained or rained much during his time.

I want that deep water faith.  The kind that walks on water when I keep my eyes on the Lord.

The kind of faith like George Mueller had when he sat down for a meal and the table was set but there was no food on his plate because they had none in the house-

And he prayed....

Then the doorbell rang.....

And there was a woman standing in the doorway and she said...

The Lord told me to bring you this food!

Hello people!  Does the Lord not provide all we need?  Why yes, yes He does!  But again, we live in the land of opportunity where we should be happy.  That's code for we should live in comfort. That's garbage by the way.  No where in the scriptures do I read a statement like that!  Again, it's another lie that we buy from the enemy and Christians need to wake up and stop doing it!  Take God at His Word and trust Him.

Will He provide food for us like He provided manna for the Israelites?  I think so!

Will we have oil in our jars like the widow?  I think so! 

Are we not more important than the birds of the air?  Of course.

Doesn't our Father own the cattle on a thousand hills?  That would be a yes!

Is it easy to be still and wait on Him?  I think not!

Is it for a purpose?  That's a resounding yes!

Note:  Wild Faith is not an excuse for laziness, but unfortunately some husbands would fall under that category, but that's another post!

If you and your husband choose the Wild Faith Path, here's my encouragement to you:

• Hold fast to the scriptures of what God has laid out for you to do as a wife and mother.  You do your part, let your husband do his part, and let God do His part.  (I have become very creative in meal preparation, btw!)


• Have faith in the One True God and rest in Him.  I know it's not easy when the bills aren't getting paid and you barely have enough money for food, but God will provide all your needs according to His glorious riches.  I can attest to the fact that He has provided for us in miraculous ways and because of that, my faith in Him has grown deeper and deeper, and that, my friend, is priceless!


• Know that He is working through you.

Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe.  Hebrews 12:28

How to Lose Your Dream Home Not Just Once, But Twice

Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and pretend I am not living this life because this is not what I had expected, yet, this is what I prayed for.

Between being sick for so many years and now this?  The home being lost, again!

The Lord had asked me to revisit my dreams, to live in my home once again only to have it taken away again.  My emotions fought with my spirit.  I didn’t want to question Him because I KNOW He knows what is best for me.

Let me tell you a story about,  How to Lose Your Dream Home Not Just Once But Twice.  It’s a ridiculous story, but a true one nonetheless and I can’t wait to share it with you so you can find God in the midst of your own hardships (and sometimes absurdities) of your life.

It was March of 2010 when we received the first notice from the Bank that our home was going to be sold on the courthouse steps (foreclosed upon) on April 6^th.  So we moved out and moved into a rental.  We were very blessed for our rental home and we were content there.  We had no desire to move back to our dream home on Ashbury Lane (nor did we think it was ever a possibility), instead we looked ahead to our future with hope.  That chapter of our book was now closed, we thought.  

April through August of 2010 we were able to pay our bills.  Praise the Lord!  For 5 months we were just getting by.  My health was improving and I felt wonderful.  Perhaps there was a light at the end of the tunnel after all? 

Until I turned the page of my book to September, where a visit to the Urgent Care cost us almost $400.00.  A boy's hand with a sliced finger that needed stitches was the reason.  Having no health insurance we relied on the Lord to provide, and of course He did.  But would we have enough money to pay our rent, was the thought that ran through my mind?

I continued to read on until October came.  It was during that time that my beloved was rushed to Emergency.  An EKG was ordered because of a low heart rate and a Cat Scan later revealed a kidney stone.  Thousands of dollars are now owed to the hospital, yet thankful for a healthy husband.

I now become hesitant to turn the page to November.  What's next?  Can we afford to pay rent?  The escrow my husband had been working on for months still had not closed, which meant he wouldn't get paid.  We were told by the Lender that it would close before Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving came and went but with no paycheck.  Our landlord was so gracious to us and told us to pay him when the escrow closed.  He also showed up with a small Christmas tree for our boys, in addition to gift cards for them to buy Christmas presents.  We were blown away by his generosity, empathy and compassion.  In the meantime, the property on Ashbury Lane, (my dream home) still had not sold on the courthouse steps.  The Bank kept postponing the sale of our home but we didn't understand why.  In our minds it didn't really matter to us because it wasn't like we were going to move back there. Or so we thought!

I started to think I was reading a book on horror when I came across the pages of December.  Week after week the escrow still had not closed.  In the meantime my Beloved is doing everything he can to make money to feed us and to keep the utilities on, yet some were disconnected.  Plus, it's been raining and my boy has holes in the bottom of his shoes and his socks are now getting wet.  We hardly have any money and what we do have is for food.

Jesus will provide, I tell my son.  We continue to pray for the Lord to meet our needs. 

My Beloved husband feels like a failure.

I hold him and tell him that the Lord has a plan in all of this.  “Don’t lose hope, I say.  God is moving and working on our behalf.”

I try to encourage and affirm who he is, “Regardless of your decisions and where ever they take us, do not doubt yourself because God has anointed you as the head of the household.  I will be by your side every step of the way."

With tears in his eyes, he says to me, “I am like water to his thirsty soul,”

“It is not I that quenches your thirst, but the Lord, I remind him.”

Jesus replied, "If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water."  John 4:10

It broke my heart to see my Knight in Shining Armor so defeated in all of this.  I couldn’t fix his problem but what I could do was pray for him and our situation and try to have a good attitude as we endured this difficult time.

The sale of the Ashbury property has now been postponed yet another month.  We receive a certified letter from the Bank.  After a phone call is made to them, they inform us that we could qualify for a loan modification but we had to be living in our property (seeing how the Bank had yet to foreclose upon our house back in April like they had told us, the home was still considered our property).  We had no desire to pack up all of our belongings and move back because we knew we would never qualify for the loan modification, plus the home could be foreclosed upon the next month!  We were hopeful that the Lord would provide for us financially so we could just stay in our rental.

Now things we owned were being sold on either Craigslist or Ebay so we would have money for food.

“God will provide all our needs”, was a constant reminder in our household.

Our boys were told not to expect any Christmas presents from us this year because we didn’t have any money for toys.  “I am sorry boys, but you won’t be getting any Legos this year,” I said.

It was a tough December for us.  At the beginning of the Christmas season I wrote a short e-book called, Strengthening Your Child’s Faith at Christmas and I posted a link to it on Facebook.  Unfortunately, a family member of mine decided to smear my name on Facebook because of my Christian faith which he was (and still is) hostile towards.  I sobbed.  I was so tired of being persecuted by my family for my faith. “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”  Matthew 5:10 

A few days later we hear from the neighbor kids that their parents don’t like me.  In fact, they tell our kids that their parents can’t stand us and we would probably sue them for all sorts of ridiculous reasons.  What!  That’s odd to hear, seeing how we hardly spoke to them! It still hurt my feelings.  “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”

Even though I knew what the Bible had to say and I knew we were under attack by the Enemy it was becoming more increasingly difficult to bear.  How much longer Lord?  When will the storms let up?

New Year’s Eve we decided to drive over to the Ashbury home to see the condition that it was in.  I remember that day well and it is still painful to think about it.

As others were out celebrating and ringing in the New Year with hope, I couldn’t help but think we were probably moving back to the home and enduring another move filled with even more uncertainty.  Life did not look hopeful at this time, in fact, it looked downright depressing.

After a 10 month period, what we saw was a dismal sight:

• Weeds around the yard that were at least 3 feet tall


• Grass, bushes and trees that were either dead or on the verge of dying due to lack of water


• Our once beautiful pool was now devoid of crystal blue water; instead it was filled with trash, debris and rain water.

We unlocked our front door and stepped into the dust covered house.

I looked around to what was once filled with many memories... birthday parties, Christmas celebrations, friends, family, fellowship. I couldn’t help but question why would the Lord bring us back to this place?  Not only was the home a depressing sight, but we soon realized that our home had been broken into as the back doors were busted and left wide open and banging in the wind.

Dust covered everything.  There was minor vandalism and theft as well.  More sorrow and pain were added to my heart that day.  Along with more work because I had to clean the place!  Could the Lord really bring us back here, I thought?

I wanted to stop reading this book but I didn’t have a choice.

So I turned the page to January 2011, where I received more bad news.

One morning I discovered that there was something wrong with my car.  Later my Beloved takes a look at it and he said I would never believe what was wrong with it.  My response, “I would believe anything at this moment based on how our lives have been.”  He informed me that someone stole the catalytic converters off of the car.  I laughed (my other option was to cry).  That was clearly the enemy wanting to discourage us.  

No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is from Me," says the LORD.  Isaiah 54:17 

We later find out that parts alone for the car would cost us $3500.00.  That wasn’t in our budget!

Seeing how we had little money and the escrow still had not closed, we felt we had no other choice but to make the move back to our home on Ashbury Lane.  It was a daunting and miserable time of a move, to say the least.

Although I wanted to curl up in the fetal position and just cry, it would serve me no good.  I had a home to pack, a family to care for, my health to manage, and a ministry to run.

We got all of our things into the home around January 23^rd and the sale date of the property was scheduled for Feb. 9^th.  Less than 3 weeks and we might have to move again.

Should I unpack our things? I thought.

What would that teach our boys?  Would my actions show them that I was trusting in Jesus if I left our things in boxes?  Or did these young souls need to see my actions showing them that I trusted in the Christ?

The Lord made it clear,  “Take your boys to Me.  Show them that you trust Me.”  He said.

So I unpacked our home knowing full well that we may have needed to get out in less than 30 days.   Yet, it wasn’t until 7 months later that we moved. 

So, we have now officially moved out of our dream house, not just once, but twice!

At the beginning of this post I said, "this is what I prayed for", and this is what I meant by that:

My desire and prayer over the years that I have walked with Christ is to be closer to Him, to know Him more and to filled with His glorious presence.

His answer: Daughter, you will lose your home…again, and you will move…again.  It will be exhausting, painful and difficult.  You will cry in anguish and you will doubt and question Me.  You will live in uncertainty and you will long for stability, but the stability that you long for is false.  I am all you need.

This is what I prayed for and it hurts (my flesh), yet my spirit sings.

But the best part of the story is yet to come!  Join me soon for Part 2 where I will tell you of the many miracles that God did during that time on our behalf!

Plus, I will share with you what I learned about allowing God to be the main character of my story/my life, rather than me being the 'leading lady'.

 
I am linked up with:

Getting down with JesusGetting Down With Jesus

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Sleeping in the Boat with Jesus

Do you ever get tired of living in the ‘storms’ of life? I know I have! I have been asked that question often by other women and what I have tried to do in my own life is learn to sleep in the boat like Jesus did when He was in a storm. (Please know that by no means am I always successful in resting in Him, but it is something that I try to be intentional about.)

Let me explain what I mean about sleeping in the boat like Jesus.

In Matthew 8:25-26, Jesus calms the storm as the disciples start freaking out thinking they are going to die.

“Then His disciples came to Him and awoke Him, saying, "Lord, save us! We are perishing!" But He said to them, "Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?" Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.” Matthew 8:25-26

I freaked out just like the disciples did.

So here is our Savior sleeping in the boat during a storm. He is not fearful, nor anxious. Jesus is not panicking, nor is He worried or concerned; in fact, He is so relaxed about the entire situation that He is taking a nap, on a boat, in a storm!

As I picture in my mind Jesus and the boys in this scenario, I can’t help but smile thinking about the situation. I wonder why on earth would the disciples be screaming, “Lord, save us! We are perishing!” Don’t they know that Jesus is the One who controls the waves?

“He calms the storm, so that its waves are still.” Psalm 107:29

I mean, after all, He IS the Savior of the world and the Creator of the Universe!

“Everything was created through him and for him. He existed before anything else, and he holds all creation together.” Colossians 1:16,17

(Actually, no the disciples didn’t know who He was.)

“So the men marveled, saying, "Who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?" Matthew 8:27

I guess after reading that verse, I shouldn’t be so hard on the boys.

As believers, if we have been in the storms for any length of time, we are probably very aware of the above verses. But let’s look further into this passage to see exactly what Jesus was doing with the disciples.

Jesus had a destination in mind. Don’t think for a minute that He just decided to go on some afternoon boating trip with the men because that was not the case. Nor did He have plans to go sightseeing like a tourist when He got to the other side either. The Lord had a plan and a purpose for that trip. He knew exactly what He was doing when He got in the boat to cross that sea and He knew that the storm was coming as well.

“He stirs up the sea with His power, and by His understanding He breaks up the storm.” Job 26:12

Not only was He taking the disciples to the other side, but He also had business to take care of while He was there…His Father’s business, that is.

“When He had come to the other side, to the country of the Gergesenes, there met Him two demon-possessed men, coming out of the tombs, exceedingly fierce, so that no one could pass that way.” And suddenly they cried out, saying, "What have we to do with You, Jesus, You Son of God? Have You come here to torment us before the time?" Matthew 8:28,29

Let that sight sink in for just a moment. Not just one, but two demon-possessed men coming out of the tombs, exceedingly fierce! Can you even imagine what was going through the disciples' minds? One minute they think they are going to die because they might drown from the raging storm at sea and then the next minute they are staring at the faces of two demon-possessed men! Hmmm, why I think that is a lovely way to spend an afternoon, don’t you? (sarcasm noted.)

If I had a day like that, I'd be mentally and physically exhausted, plus it would send me over the edge. I hope the boys at least had the chance to stop off at Starbucks before they headed back into the boat! (I have a tendency to be an emotional eater and a nice decaf, iced mocha would bring me lots of comfort! Although we all know Where the True Source of Comfort comes from.)

Wow, we think we got it bad with our trials…imagine having a day like that! (Please note: the Bible does not mention in this passage how long it took the disciples to get to the other side. It could have taken more than a day.)

As the boys witnessed all that took place in those instances, you know their faith in the Messiah must have increased. God does the same with us as He takes us through trials. He performs miracles in our own lives all the time and He is wanting us to trust Him more and more.

The Lord has you in His boat as well and He has a course mapped out for you too. He has a destination in mind. Perhaps you are in the midst of sailing the ocean sea right now and the storm that you are in is raging or you have reached the other side and now you are dealing with even bigger issues. But just like the disciples, Jesus was always there with them and He is with us as well.

My encouragement to you when you are faced with those huge waves is to learn to sleep in the boat like Jesus. You are resting in the promises of the Word of God and you are putting your complete faith in Him even when things look like they can’t get any worse.

Here's comes the unfortunate part: it is called human nature.

It is much easier to look at our circumstances rather than to look at the promises found in the Word of God. I know, because I did just that the other day! I freaked out like the disciples did.

Here’s the story of how I woke Jesus up and started screaming asking Him to save me! (If you haven’t been following my story, you can read it here at, Are Trials Really Good for Us?)

We had just gotten a call from the real estate agent representing the Bank and she said the Bank is offering us some cash to move out of our house in 30 days. Did I say I freaked out? Because I did and I slept only 3 hours that night! Seeing how we are cash-challenged right now, it was great to hear that the Bank was going to offer us money to move out, but in the meantime, we do not have any money to pay for the first month's rent and a deposit for a new place. We needed money before we moved out AND we needed to find a place that would rent to us! Our situation looked bleak. The next morning I headed off to church to serve for VBS and while there I saw my dear friend and I told her of the news. Then I cried. I knew Jesus would take care of us but I couldn’t keep my eyes on Him and I was having such a difficult time resting in Him…I kept trying but the waves of my storm looked enormous!

Over and over in my mind that day I would remind myself to sleep in the boat like Jesus and here were my thoughts:
“Don’t worry.”
“The Lord will take care of it.”
“He will show up and help us. I don’t know how, but I know He will.”
"He is the Miracle Maker."
"Get my eyes off of the situation and go serve Him."
“Keep my mind on Him.”

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3

That was my spirit-talk that morning. That was me trying as best as I could to sleep in the boat with Jesus during my storm. If I didn't do that I would have crumbled. Most likely I would have left the day of serving in VBS so I could serve myself, or should I say, cater to my feelings of worry and anxiety; which produces nothing except more doubt.

That morning friends prayed for me.

“Call on me in prayer and I will show you great and mysterious things that you do not know about.” Jeremiah 33:3

Later that day Jesus rebuked the winds and the waves of my storm! (Hello people, that’s less than 24 hours of God interceding on our behalf!) The Lord moved incredibly quick and calmed the sea. Maybe because He knew I was tired of sailing in shark-infested waters for so many years and I was now becoming sea sick! It's a beautiful story of God’s hand of faithfulness. The Miracle Maker showed up once again. (You can read more about the Miracle Maker here at, God is Bigger Than Our Credit Score.)

Oh, why did I worry? Hadn't He shown me enough miracles that I needn't not fret again?

Here's some application for you:

Trust and faith were being built in the disciples' lives that day when they were in the storm. Jesus reveled to them Who He was when He calmed the sea. (He wasn't just another one of their fishing buddies, nor was He just a good teacher...He was showing them that He was the Messiah!) The disciples needed to see that, because later they were faced with even more difficulties when the encountered the demon-possessed men. One of the reasons why Jesus took them through those things was so when He left this earth the disciples would testify of all that Christ had done. He was preparing His boys to go out and preach the Good News and build His church.

Trust and faith are being built in your life and mine as we go through the storms as well. Jesus reveals Himself to us when He performs miracles in our lives too, but some miracles that we experience are unfortunately attached to our storms. We need to be reminded that Jesus is our Savior and Messiah so we can go out and share the Good News and build His church while we are still here on earth, because that, my friend, is our purpose in life.

"And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself." John 12:32

God is Bigger than Our Credit Score

So, after my last post on despair and denial of the Lord, I figured I would address another elephant in the room amongst Christians.

I often wonder why we don't share about certain topics because who better to understand our fragility, brokenness, sin, failures, and hard times than another sister in the Lord, after all, they are no different than we are plus we worship the same God.

Of course we want to be discreet as God-fearing women and we don't want to be complainers but somewhere in the middle of all of that is a place where we should be able to share our struggles, but that's another post.

So here comes the elephant.

In America, the all-powerful credit score has a way of defining us even as Christians.  If we have great credit we have a tendency to think we have arrived at a place of financial success, freedom, or more importantly, stability.  If we have poor credit, then we have the tendency to feel like we will never again be able to purchase something of value, we will have a hard time 'getting ahead in life' and our overall financial outlook can seem depressing until our score is raised.  In a snapshot, our FICO number tells the lender who we are, thus, it does define us to a certain extent.

I have lived a life where I have had both types of credit.  Once, my credit was excellent.  In fact, I used to receive catalogs in the mail for fur coats!  I am not sure how I got on that mailing list because I don't even wear fur coats, not because I have an issue with wearing fur, but because that is just not my style.  Yet, all the while I am receiving these high-end catalogs because of my credit score, I am still shopping at the Dollar Tree.

Then our financial stability came crashing down.  Now, I am all for saving money but you can only save so much. The financial experts say you should have 6 months worth of your expenses in savings in case you lose your job or some other disaster comes your way.  This is a very shrewd principle and one that we followed as best we could.

As believers, God has entrusted us with His resources.  We are managing all that He has given us, so to be good stewards was something that we desired to be.  But sometimes life does not go according to our plans. 

“I form the light and create darkness, I make peace and create calamity; I, the LORD, do all these things.”  Isaiah 45:7

But what happens when you have already lived off all of your savings and there is no new income for you to start building your wealth again?  When you are literally living day to day as you seek to provide the basic needs for your family, how do you build your savings again?  Where do you go from here when your score starts to plummet?  What do we cling to?

Having our credit going from excellent to poor was a fearful time for us.  We put a lot of our worth and weight into our credit score.  We were so uptight about not being able to pay our bills and we wondered what was going to happen to us.

My heart sank when I saw the notice.

In the midst of all that worry, shortly we received the dreaded notice that was posted on our door....the one that said our property was going to sale on the courthouse steps on April 4th, 2010.  My dream home, the house that we deemed as 'the land of milk and honey' was no longer going to be our home.  My heart sank when I saw the paper.  I knew it was just a matter of time when we would need to move but it was still hard to experience the reality of our situation.

Now we needed to find a place to rent, but who in their right mind was going to rent to us?  We had bad credit!  Our property was going to be foreclosed upon in a matter of weeks and my husband was self-employed so it wasn't like he could show proof of employment along with pay stubs.  We were high-risk renters.

I fretted and worried again.  

“Fear not for I am with you be not afraid.”  Isaiah 41:10

• Lord, how are we going to find a home?  


• Logically, who would rent to us based on our financial situation?  


• Lord, we only have so much money saved up.  


• How are we going to afford the additional deposit required because of our poor credit?


• Do you know what our credit score is Lord?

"I am bigger than your credit score," He said to me.

“Be still and know that I am God.”  Psalm 47:10

As I look back at this time, it is sad for me to see how I doubted God.  Over and over in my life He has shown me His hand.  Through the months leading up to this time, He literally led me to a doctor where healing and restoration was taking place in my body after so many years of chronic illnesses, (you can read more about that here at, Lord, Why on Earth Would You Allow This? (The Refiner's Fire Part 2)).  He also pulled me out of the pit of despair and denial as He set me back on His path, (and you can read that story here at, Before the Rooster Crows Part 1 and 2.)  Yet, through all of this, I still doubted Him.  I forgot about His faithfulness because I looked at my circumstances.

As I write this I realize I needed to reverse my thinking and it should go something like this:

I need to look at His faithfulness while He looks at my circumstances.

It’s His nature to care for His sheep because it’s part of His job for being God.

God is in the business of doing miracles, in fact, miracle making is a part of who He is.  It defines Him.

If God had a job description it would read something like this:

-Owner and Chief Executive Officer of Making Miracles

-Responsible for doing miracles all day, everyday.  No time off and no vacations.

So, back to my story.  Once again, the Miracle Maker showed up on the scene and within one week of looking for a place to rent, we became renters.  How does that happen?  It happens because of God.

My husband told the Landlord our entire financial story and the Landlord still rented his home to us.  He said, “There’s just something about you guys.”  He further reduced the monthly rent, gave us an extra 2 weeks free and we paid a ridiculously low deposit.  Who does that?  The Miracle Maker had His hand in all of this.

No matter where you live or how much money you make (or don’t make) and regardless of your credit score, none of that defines you.  Christ wants your heart and your complete devotion to Him, and Him alone.  He wants you to rely solely on Him- not your credit score, not your bank account, and not your job.

God wants to get all the glory all the time.

"Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.  Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass."  Psalm 37:3-5

I am bigger than your credit score.  ~God

My Weakening Faith

Spiritually speaking this is a difficult post for me to write.  Not because I don't want to share my pain with you but because the words that I have penned here are a reminder of a time in my life when my faith in Christ was starting diminish, and quite frankly, those are not memories that I like to relive.  Gasp!  Did I just say that?  I am a Christian woman and I shouldn't say those things!!!

Well, if you have been reading my blog for any amount of time now you have probably figured out that I am REAL!  I share my feelings and emotions, my failures, my pain and my sin.  My 'life is perfect' mask is NOT on!

Where was my Savior in all of this?

I believe with all my heart that this is a post that needs to be written because I feel there are many Christian women out in the world today who are hurting and they have been crying out to the Lord, and yet, because of their trials and afflictions, their faith is starting to weaken as well.  I pray that this article comes at a time that you need to be encouraged to press on in your faith.

If you missed my last post, Aching Inside, you can read it here because it goes along with this story.

I wish I could write and tell you that the new treatment that I received was easy and I felt great immediately, but that was not the case. In fact, I felt worse rather than better for several weeks on end. During the acupuncture treatments, as the doctor would place the needles in me, she would then hook electricity up to the needles that were in my body because she said my health condition was so severe. (And no, it is not normal to be hooked up to electricity!)

While we were paying hundreds of dollars for this treatment, our home was still in foreclosure and now our utility bills were becoming overdue. The water was almost turned off one morning but we were able to prevent it, however, that same afternoon the power went out in the house and I thought it was because of the rain we were having, but that was not the reason! It was our unpaid, overdue bill.  It was a long night without any light, electricity and heat. My husband felt like a failure once again because of our financial demise and I felt physically worse, yet, I did not want him to see the pain on my face because of how my body was feeling. I was at year 8 of my physical, long-suffering and my beloved husband was only at year 2 of his time in the dry desert, so I wanted to lift him up when he was down rather than the other way around.

Although we were still faithfully following Christ and serving in ministry, I could not help but wonder where my Savior was in all of this? I knew He brought me to this new doctor but now I was filled will doubt and confusion based on how I felt physically along with our lack of money. I couldn’t help but wonder if we made the right choice? Did I hear Him correctly? I believed so at the time.

"For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints." 1 Corinthians 14:33 

We continued on in my treatment and had blind faith that I would be physically restored regardless of how grim our situation looked.

I knew to just rest in Christ and be faithful, but our life looked so bleak that I started to look around at all of the storm clouds that were surrounding us. How were we going to survive, I thought?

“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3

Unfortunately, I did not keep my mind on Jesus and therefore, I did not have peace which ultimately weakened my faith.  (It breaks my heart to write those words because this situation took place in the year of 2009, and being that it is 2 years later, I am obviously aware of the outcome!)  I feared our outcome when I shouldn’t have.

"Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." Matthew 10:31

Even though my beloved was a real estate broker, he took any odd job that came his way so he could provide for us. We never knew how much money we were going to receive on a daily basis so we just had to live day by day, relying on the Lord for our sustenance.  Soon, God blessed my beloved with the opportunity to work at my doctor’s office to install counter tops, paint cabinets and do various tasks in trade for a couple months’ worth of my treatment. Once again, there was no reason for me to fear and doubt what God was doing in our lives. He was providing for us.

"Cast your burden on the LORD, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved." Psalm 55:22

As God calls His children ‘the righteous’, unfortunately, this righteous person was starting to be moved (and in the wrong direction!) I was trying to cast my burdens on Him but I was so physically, mentally and emotionally overwhelmed in all of our trials and pain.  May faith was beginning to weaken and I was heading into a time of dark despair and denial of Christ.  (I will share about that in my next post at Before the Rooster Crows)

If there is anything I can say to help prevent a sister from heading down the path that I was once on, it would  be this:
Do the best you can to keep your eyes on Jesus because He is with you. He has a plan for all that you are going through. Don’t doubt what He is doing in your life. He knows how much you are suffering and He will help you get through it!  Continue to stay in His Word.  Be in fellowship and be prayed for!

I don’t know your trials or your pain. Perhaps He is refining you.

"I have refined you, but not as silver is refined. Rather, I have refined you in the furnace of suffering." Isaiah 48:10

I will leave you with this beautiful story called, Refining Silver by an unknown author. It ministered to my heart so much that I just had to share it with you!

Refining Silver

Some time ago, a few ladies met in a certain city to read the scriptures, and make them the subject of conversation. While reading the third chapter of Malachi they came upon a remarkable expression in the third verse: "And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." One lady's opinion was that is was intended to convey the view of the sanctifying influence of the grace of Christ. Then she proposed to visit a silversmith and report to them what he said on the subject.

She went accordingly and without telling the object of her errand, begged to know the process of refining silver, which he fully described to her.

"But Sir" she said, "do you sit while the work of refining is going on?" "Oh, yes, madam," replied the silversmith; "I must sit with my eye steadily fixed on the furnace, for if the time necessary for refining be exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured."

The lady at once saw the beauty, and comfort too, of the expression, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

Christ sees it needful to put His children into a furnace; His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for them. Their trials do not come at random; "the very hairs of your head are all numbered."

As the lady was leaving the shop, the silversmith called her back, and said he had forgotten to mention that the only way that he knows when the process of purifying is complete is when he sees his own image reflected in the silver....

--Author Unknown

Keep your eyes on Jesus!