14 Reasons Why a Husband Doesn't Lead His Family...& a Link Up!

I've been wanting to write this post for a while now and since one of my readers contacted me over this very issue, I thought I share this topic with everyone.  I know this dear wife is not alone in her situation. 

Dear Jolene,

I have been the bread winner in my family for some time now and I believe my husband is having a hard time figuring out how to step into this role. He has a tendency to be lazy.  I don’t want to be the head of our house, spiritually, financially, or in any other way.  But I feel like this is the route our life is taking and I want to get off that highway (so to speak) and live the way God intended with my husband in that role.  I just need him to be the leader in our home.

Signed,
~Needing help understanding and supporting my husband

There are many reasons why a husband doesn't lead his family and today I'm going to uncover all those reasons.  (The solutions to those reasons will be addressed in future posts.  So, if you're not a subscriber to The Alabaster Jar and you have a husband who has a hard time leading his family, you'll want to subscribe so you don't miss out on the counsel.)

For the husband is head of the wife.  Ephesians 5:23

14 Reasons Why a Husband Doesn't Lead His Home

1. Maybe he doesn't know how to lead his home.  
2. Maybe he didn't have a father in his life to teach him how. 
3. Maybe his father was married to a contentious woman, therefore, his dad kept his mouth shut so he could keep the peace in the home.  A son who saw this growing up is emulating his father who wasn't a good role model in leading his family.
4. Maybe he's a laid back, easy-going, type of personality and leading does not come naturally to him.
5. Maybe he's married to a contentious woman and he wants to keep peace in the home.  If this defines your relationship, you have a lot of control over this area to make some changes, friend. (smile!)
6. Maybe he's lazy and he doesn't care.  (This is truly sad, but unfortunately in some marriages, this is a reality.)
7. Maybe he's been taught by his parents that he's no good and he'll never amount to anything. (He's afraid to fail so he doesn't try too hard in life.  Or maybe he lacks the confidence.)
8. Maybe he's been beat down and discouraged by his wife, therefore, he's apprehensive to take the lead in the family.  Again, my fellow wifey-friend, if this is you, you can make some changes and turn your marriage around!
9. Maybe he's fine with the way things are in the marriage.
10. Maybe he doesn't realize that his wife feels like he's not leading!
11. Maybe his and his wife's roles are not defined within the marriage.
12. Maybe the roles were reversed when he entered into marriage and it's hard for him to make changes.
13. Maybe he's trying to change but he's having a hard time doing so.
14. Maybe he's not changing fast enough according to his wife.

Sometimes we think it's natural for our husbands to just lead us in the home but that is not always the case!  Husbands have insecurities, lack of confidence, poor or no role models, as well as bad habits just like us.  The only difference between the two genders is that a man's struggle/issue will manifest differently than a woman's.

Since today I'm not covering solutions to these various reasons, here's a few things you can do in the meantime:

Spend some time talking with your husband and share your heart about what it is that you desire for your marriage.  But be careful here.  Make sure you don't beat him up over this issue.  Your tone should be filled with grace and kindness, otherwise, you're husband probably won't listen to a word you say or an argument will ensue.

See if you can pinpoint some areas that he might be struggling in and then spend time in prayer and lifting him up to the Lord.  Ask the Lord to reveal to you areas where you might be able to encourage and strengthen your husband, as well as areas where you need to back off and just let things go in your home life.

Live a poured out life for Christ,

Did you enjoy reading The Alabaster Jar?

To receive future posts you can subscribe via email and Facebook.

Now bloggers, it's time to link up your posts!

I'm looking for posts on any and all things related to being a wife, i.e. homemaking ideas, ways you minister to your husband, dating ideas, and/or hearing what the Lord is telling you about your most important earthly relationship!

Link back to this community, either by using the button below or a text link.  Link to your actual “Marital Oneness Mondays” post, not just your general blog address--that way if readers come by later in the week, they can click your relevant post.

<a href="http://www.joleneengle.org" title="The Alabaster Jar"><img src="http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/l599/joleneengle/maritalonenessmondaysjarpinkbuttoncopy.png" alt="The Alabaster Jar" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

I'm linking up with: