The Alabaster Jar: The Respectful Wife

13 Wive in 13 Days...Wives of the Bible

Wife #11

This wife challenges me to the core.

When I think about all that she endured I can't help but shed a few tears because of her heartache and pain.

She was the talk of the town. Her good name was being smeared.

Her man didn't initially want to marry her because of rumors, lies, and misunderstandings. I would imagine that must have broke her heart.

But he took her as his wife because the Lord told him to do so.

Although her marriage started off a little rocky and rather unique, she followed her man, nonetheless.

Regardless of her circumstances, she had a surrendered spirit; seeking to please her Father above all others.

This dear wife based her life on faith, not logic.

Who is she?

She's Mary, wife of Joseph.

The Respectful Wife

Mary and Joseph are engaged to be married when Mary gets greeted by an angel telling her she will conceive a Child; the Messiah. I can't even imagine what initially went through Mary's mind when this all took place. Fear? What will the neighbors think? How am I going to explain this to Joseph and my parents? Will they even believe me? Perhaps that's why she took off to her cousin Elisabeth's house? She's now a public disgrace because she's pregnant outside of wedlock.

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. Matthew 1:18-20

Respectful Act #1: Mary marries Joseph even though earlier he was going to privately divorce her.

So all went to be registered, everyone to his own city. Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed wife, who was with child. Luke 2:3-5

Respectful Act #2: Mary followed Joseph to Bethlehem to be counted for the census.
Let's take a look at this for a second, shall we? From Nazareth to Bethlehem it's 80 miles. If you traveled on foot for 20 miles a day, you'd reach Bethlehem in 4 days. However, Mary was ready to deliver the Baby at any time. Imagine journeying across rugged terrain when you're fully pregnant riding a donkey! With your first child, nonetheless. Not to mention the fact that the man your travelling with initially wanted to divorce you. Oh, yeah, let's just add to this mix that you're carrying the Savior of the World! I don't know about you, but I would have lost it! Hmm, perhaps that's one of the many reasons why God chose Mary to carry, deliver, and raise up Jesus, rather then choosing me to do it! And let's not forget that Mary has free will. She had a choice, she didn't have to follow Joseph, but she respected him and followed him in the midst of these circumstances. She was one obedient woman!

Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, "Arise, take the young Child and His mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I bring you word; for Herod will seek the young Child to destroy Him." When he arose, he took the young Child and His mother by night and departed for Egypt. Matthew 2:13,14

Respectful Act #3: Mary followed Joseph as he took her and the Child to Egypt.

What to Do According to Mary...

She submitted to the Lord in her difficult circumstances, which in turn, caused her to have a respectful heart towards her husband.

While I realize God chose Mary to be the mother of Jesus, she was still a human being. She still had feelings and I'm sure at times she was fearful of their situation. She could have bickered and argued with Joseph, or she could've just followed his lead and prayed for the Lord to guide and protect them. I think Mary chose the latter of the two based on her attitude when the Lord told her He's chosen her to carry His son. I believe Mary was filled with wisdom and she was content in following the Lord's plan for her life even if she couldn't see where it was going to lead her. That woman respected her man because that, my friend, is God's plan for a Godly wife!

As I look at their marital relationship, she learned to rely on Joseph as they lived through their trials and afflictions. She was okay in not trying to prove herself to her man. She wasn't trying to be some kind of superwoman. She rested in not only the Lord's strength, but Josephs' as well. She willingly accepted his protection and his leadership. She didn't fight him to be in that headship position. She followed and respected him. Mary's marriage was not about her. Her goal was to bring glory to the Lord through her surrendered heart and devotion to her Father.

When you're faced with the struggles of this life, lean into your man, don't pull away from him or blame him for your trials. Remember that you can't see God's plan for your life but you can read His Word and know how to walk in His ways.

Respecting your man may seem impossible for you but it isn't for God! This is the verse the angel, Gabriel said to Mary when she said to him how will it be possible for me to conceive since I am a virgin?

For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37

Challenge for Today

Give your man respect. Below are a few ideas to help you get started for this lifelong journey!

6 Ways to Show Your Husband Respect

Follow his lead.
Don't fight his headship position. This position has not been given to you, it's been given to him by God. Instead, be a wife of influence. I guarantee you you'll have much better results in your marriage with this position!
Give him eye contact when he's speaking to you.
Speak highly of him in front of others.
Be a joyful and content wife.
Serve him. (A simple thing I do in my home is I serve my husband his meal before I serve my children. This shows my man respect and at the same time it teaches my boys respect.)

Now you may think that some of the things on this list are impossible to do. Well, perhaps they are but I want to remind you of Mary's response when she received the news from the angel that she was going to conceive...