She Said I Was Filled with Pride; How Ministry Shattered My Heart

"You're prideful and I can't see your heart and others can't see your heart as well." 

Those were the words I read on the screen.  In a nutshell, her email conveyed she thought I was doing a poor job in ministry.

Well, I would have to concur with her.  I am prideful and I wish that weren't so and although I try to show and share my heart as much as possible, I'm sure I don't do a good job at it.  Oh, and me doing a great job in ministry...well, that's just a laughable notion.  It just won't and can't happen because I know my fleshly tendencies.

Have You Experienced Ministry Burnout Too?

Have you ever been drained or burnt out in ministry?  Ever felt like you couldn't possibly pour into another human being ever again?  Or maybe you became bitter while serving the Lord?  I've been there, my friend, and I must say it isn't a fun spiritual place to be.  

For several years my husband and I ran a homeschool group.  (And, no, I don't believe homeschooling is for everyone, but that's a different post.)  Anyhow, with running an organization like that I was able to use several of my talents and skills and some of my spiritual gifts.  After a few years into the ministry, I came to realize that I was spending the majority of my time in administering things, as well as, handling conflict.  Every leader knows that dealing with conflict is a crucial part of their role.  However, for me, my heart and passion was to encourage and equip the women, but my leadership and administration roles always took precedence.  

Discovering Your Spiritual Gifts

Did you know that God has given every single one of His children a gift?  Not just any old gift that can rust away but a spiritual gift hand-picked by God specifically for you!  Yep, He has.  He has given all of His kiddos a special ability to serve Him so the Body of Christ is uplifted and encouraged. Now, that's my kinda gift!  

Well, as a new believer I wanted to use my gifts for Him but I didn't know what they were.  So I just decided to jump into ministry hoping I'd figure them out along the way.  I tried several different ones and I kinda felt like Goldilocks going from one bowl of porridge to the next hoping to find the right fit for me!

Can You Hear the Lord's Voice?

Many years ago I thought there was something spiritually wrong with me because I didn't hear God speak to me.  You know what I'm talking about....when you hear people say, "God told me this." "Or the Lord put it on my heart to do that." 

The Bible talks about the sheep knowing the Shepherd's voice. 

"My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.  John 10:27

We, as children of God, are obviously the little ewe lambs and the Lord is our Shepherd, right?  Well what happens when the little lambs don't know what the Shepherd's voice sounds like?  

The Main Ingredient to Grow Your Marriage

Today I spent some time thinking about you, dear reader.  Yes, you.   My recent post, 20 Reasons a Wife Doesn't Want to Have Sex, has stirred up some openness in women as they've shared their hearts and hurts on infidelity, pornography, sexual abuse, marital/sexual problems, etc.  

I've read countless testimonies and comments from hurting wives all over the internet and my heart is just broken for all who are in painful and struggling marriages.  I literally wept for you.  I know that sounds absurd, but it's true.  

Now let me just say right now that I'm not the weepy, overly-emotional, feeling-oriented, type of gal.  And being a woman, I'm not sure why that is.  I've often thought it was because I had more testosterone in my body than most women.  Or maybe it was because I was raised with all boys and have boys myself.  Soft and delicate are two words that are not common in my vocabulary.  Or perhaps it's all the walls that I've built around me that keeps me somewhat numb, closed off.  I tell you all this because it's not in my fleshly nature to be so open and compassionate to....a complete stranger.  I'm more of the reserved kinda personality.  Guarded is a better word for it.  I tend to keep people at arms distance for fear that I might be rejected or attacked.  Yeah, that's how I roll. (And no, it's not that time of the month for me, either!)

Anyways, I tell you this because God was moving in my heart for you.  So I wanted to share with you something that will help you grow your marriage, no matter how good, bad or ugly it is.  

Why We Believe the Lies from the Enemy

I turned sweet 16 this past Friday.  On July 6th, 1996, it was the day I became a born-again Christian, a new creation in Christ Jesus.  And as a babe in Christ I had so much to learn (and still do!)

Not too long after my Christian journey began, I heard of false prophets.

False what?

What's a prophet?  Never heard of one.

How was I suppose to know what these liars had to say was a truth or a lie when I didn't even know the truth?

Don't people realize the Bible is a BIG book and you can't read it nor understand everything in it overnight?

Yep.  Those were pretty much my thoughts on the matter.

When Your Life is a Mess and You Don't Know What to Do

Welcome back to The Power of the Holy Spirit Series!  If you’re new here, then I encourage you to take the time to read the first two posts in this series, My Burning Bush Experience and How Often Do You See Your Best Friend?  

Sometimes life is a big fat mess and we just don't know what to do or where to turn. I've been there, my friend!  But today I wanted to share with you how to grow in your biblical understanding so you can navigate through this world and make the right decisions.  And one of the things that's needed to make wise choices is hearing the Lord and growing in your faith. But first I wanted to give you a glimpse into where my spiritual journey began.

I didn't know a whole lot of Truth, (the Bible) when I was a new believer.  I wasn't raised with learning the Scriptures and seeking the Lord.  When I got saved at 26 yrs. old, I spent the next 15 months of my walk alone.  Outside of my Pastor teaching from the pulpit, I didn't have anyone in the flesh teaching me how to navigate the Christian life, however, Jesus was always with me!

During the first 6 months of my new found life in Christ I went from church to church to church hearing how Jesus loved me and died for my sins.  While I appreciated hearing this important truth, I needed more instruction.  I needed to be equipped so I could walk through this life in a Godly way.  And although I read my Bible from cover to cover during that time I'm sure I didn't understand even half of what I read!

How Often Do You See Your Best Friend?

I'm holding something sacred in my heart and somehow I need to get His words across to you, dear reader, making sure I'm representing Him and Him alone.  Oh how I long to share with you about my BFF (best friend forever); Who He is, His power, His understanding, and His wisdom, and I want to do so in such a way that you can clearly see Him even though He is, well..... invisible!

If you're joining me for the first time, I'm currently writing a series on The Power of the Holy Spirit, and let me just say right now that I'm not worthy to pen any of these words. But my heart is heavy for you to know Him more and to experience Him more abundantly so that's why I'm sharing this with you.  And if you've missed the first post, My Burning Bush Experience, you can read it here.

My Burning Bush Experience

Jesus.....

You're all I want.

You're all I need.

You're everything.

Oh how I wish I can dwell on those words every minute of the day because when I do, my spirit absolutely soars and I'm ushered into the presence of God.  And when that happens I just see life so differently.  

In fact, I experience...

• No family concerns.  
• No physical exhaustion.  
• No fear of the future.  
• No broken relationships.
• No insecurities or feelings of rejection.  
• No worries.  
• Nope.  Nada.  None of the above, because it's just me resting in my sweet Savior!