The Alabaster Jar: Becoming Content While You're Waiting for Your Life to Change

Can you remember the time before you got married? The time when you longingly waited with great anticipation to meet your future husband? When you couldn't wait to fall in love and be a bride?

I remember those days and I also remember thinking that the waiting was HARD! And it's hard for this dear reader that wrote in too! (For those of you that are already married, the principle I'm going to cover at the end of this post will help you greatly as you wait for whatever situation you may find yourself in today, especially if your man is not leading the home. So I encourage you to keep reading!)

This young woman writes:

Dear Jolene,

I am so fully convinced that marriage is a gift from God, and I am excited to be a wife and a mother someday. What an amazing privilege those two callings are! So, with this all said, I am no where near marriage or motherhood. But my heart aches and longs for it. It's what I desire, more than anything that this world has to offer. How should I deal with this, and how can I deal with knowing that this will definitely not come to pass for many years? I know discontentment is not from God, but I feel unhappy that I am unable to have either of these blessings (marriage or motherhood) for many many years. But I can't have it yet. What should I do?

~an eager wife and mom

Dear Eager Wife and Mom,

What a beautiful heart you have for marriage and motherhood! You are wise to realize that discontentment is not from God. However, one thing that is from God is His timing in your life, yet God's timing is usually much slower than our own!

Therefore, we wait.

When God brings your future husband into your life, you'll still have to wait...

You'll have to wait for that first date.

You'll have to wait on your relationship to grow.

You'll have to wait for him to propose to you.

You'll have to wait during your engagement until you can be your man's wife.

And you'll have to wait until your honeymoon before you can experience knowing your husband intimately.

And when you're married, you'll have to wait on God's timing for you to become pregnant, if that is His will for your life. And if you do get pregnant, you'll have to wait nine months before you can welcome your baby into this world.

When I had my first born I waited 9 months for his projectile vomiting to stop! I was rather exhausted about the whole ordeal. Doing laundry 24/7 and cleaning puke off my son's face each morning was not what I had in mind for motherhood!

And we wait.

When I was sick for those 10 years of my motherhood, I waited. I waited for God, the Great Physician to heal me. I was rather inpatient about this, by the way! Long-suffering was not a character trait that I possessed nor one I wanted to! But it is something that I'm familiar with today.

And when we had no money for food or a place to live, I waited. I waited for God to miraculously move in our lives. And guess what? He did just that and it was awesome to watch Him perform miracles on our behalf!

Waiting is just a part of our life, but through the waiting God is growing us into the women He desires us to be; whether we're single, married, or married with children.

So don't fight the waiting period because it's beneficial to your Godly character. Your spiritual maturity is being birthed through your surrendered spirit to the Lord.

In the meantime, shift your perspective just slightly.

Instead of focusing on the kingdom you'd like to build for yourself in the future, focus on your current calling; that place that God has you at today.

If you're a teen-aged young lady, then learn to be respectful and submissive towards your father and mother. (This will greatly help you in marriage!) If you're a student, focus on what's before you and be diligent. If you're in the workforce, work as unto the Lord. If you're married, seek to bring God glory through how you talk to and treat your husband. If you have kiddos, be diligent in training them in the things of the Lord.

Also, to help you surrender your will and combat the discontentment that you're experiencing, seek to build God's kingdom today. One way you can do this is by getting involved with your church. Perhaps children's ministry would be a good fit or you can offer your time to help a young mother with her little ones. By doing these things, you're taking your focus off of you and your future ideals and you're placing your heart in the hands of the Lord rather than just waiting for your years to roll by until you get married.

For those that are already married.... seek to bring honor to the Lord today through your actions and attitudes no matter your circumstances. I know this is no easy task!

When I'm living through a huge tumultuous storm I try to put on what I call, 'blinders.' Blinders are what some racehorses wear over their eyes while they're racing so they don't get distracted. I wear blinders so I don't look at my trials. Now if I stop to look at my trials one of two things will happen.
A. I'll either freak out and lash out, or
B. I throw myself a pity party.

Being that neither of those options will help me in my trials, I try to prevent my flesh from doing them. I know the only way I can experience contentment and peace in the midst of waiting for the next storm to pass is if I keep my eyes on the Lord. Other than sitting at the Lord's feet, the other thing I do is I become intentional about building God's kingdom rather than my own. I don't always succeed at this, by the way, because it's a constant battle of my flesh vs. my spirit.

But I can tell you that the best path to contentment is drawing closer to God and embracing whatever plan He has for your life. I encourage you to become a vessel for Him no matter what stage of life you're in and no matter what storm you're experiencing.