Thursday, March 22, 2012

Why I Write Controversial Posts

So I have been asked a few questions by one of my readers and since we needed to put the radio show on the back-burner for now, I decided to answer her questions via my blog.

Jolene, so many of things you say are controversial and I do not agree with all of them and I LOVE IT! So many christian women who blog stick to the domestic arts, praising home-school, and quoting their favorite, non-controversial, bible verses. There is nothing wrong with that, you can tell many of these women have beautiful hearts to share. But I want something more. I want a post that makes me think, brings to attention a scripture I had not considered in a certain situation, or challenges a commonly held belief. I was wondering if, during your radio show, you and your husband could discuss how you decide what to share in a public forum and how you remain committed to submitting to your husband’s will and God’s will. Is there ever a time you feel compelled to share something where your husband advises against it, or ever a time your husband calls you to write something that you feel is beyond your comfort level?

First let me give you the reasons why I blog or speak to begin with.  In fact, I will also tell you what I won't or don't do with my blog because this helps me to explain myself as well.   Yes, the fact that I do this when asked most questions drives my husband crazy!

I have been blogging now for a year and I started doing so because God called me to write.  At the time I did not know what writing for Him looked like.  In fact, I had never even read blogs when I started on this journey.  The times I did come across a blog or two is when I did a google search for a recipe, but all I wanted was the recipe, not the 2 or 3 paragraphs the blogger wrote about her day or how she was feeling.   In a nutshell, I was really a blogging newbie when I started this ministry.  So, I had to continually seek the Lord (still do) to find out what He wanted from me.  I needed to put on blinders as well, because I have learned that there are many, many reasons why people blog and I didn't want to get caught up with what everyone else was doing.  I wanted to do what my Father has called me to do and nothing else.



What I don't do with my blog:

  • I am not an aspiring writer, and therefore, I don't blog for the purpose of getting my name out.  I am not here to hone my skills because writing is not my thing; it's not my passion.   However, this is the platform that God has me using to lift Him up for all to see.  My passion is to encourage, equip, and inspire others to live for Jesus Christ, (and from what I've heard from some of my readers, I can now add 'challenge' to that list as well. :))  Some write a blog because they'd love to be a writer.  I say, to each his own.

"And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself."  John 12:32


  • I do not blog for profit nor do I intend to.  There are many wonderful, God-fearing women who do, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!  They are using their time and talents to build a cottage industry for their family.  That is where God has called them, not me.

  • Some women blog to keep a record of their life or to share their life with others.  Again, that is not the reason why I started this blog, because I just don't roll that way!  However, I am learning that people do want to know more about my life seeing how I have shared my story of trials.  Again, I do it with the intentions of  drawing them closer to Jesus Christ.

  • Some blog because it is a cathartic experience.  As they write their words out it becomes very therapeutic for them.  When I started this ministry, I did not believe what I wrote would minister to me.  But I was dead wrong about that!  Many, many times as I am writing a post and I can't form my words for nothing, and my mind is a jumbled mess of thoughts, I wait for the Lord to show up and do His thing.  And of course He does and then all of a sudden there is this post!  I don't know how it happens.  I just sit down with thoughts swirling in my brain and because I don't feel like I know how to write, I just give my computer over to the Lord (after all, it is His ministry)....and then something miraculous happens.  Words spill on to the page.  Sometimes painful words.  Gut-wrenching, tear-filled words are typed out.  Sometimes beautiful, life-breathing words.  Words that edify and encourage.  Words that I have no idea where they came from.... appear on the screen.  It is not I who wrote those words, but 'The Great I Am', the Almighty God, the Lover of My Soul.  So, I have found that within this ministry, God ministers to me.  There have been numerous occasions that when I have finished reading the post I just wrote, that I am in tears.  My Redeemer soothes my soul.  He tells me He loves me and reminds me that everything is going to be okay. Even though I am ministered to by the Lord in this experience, I do not write for this reason.  Again, there can be many women out there who blog specifically because of the healing and/or ministering it brings to them, but that is not the main reason why I write.

Now that I have told you why I don't blog for certain reasons, here is the number one reason why I do write...To do the will of My Father!

So, the reader's question is,


"How do I decide what to share in a public forum?"


I have no formula for this answer.  I just listen to the Lord.  If God is calling me to write a difficult, controversial post, which He does sometimes, then I write it (sometimes with kicking, pleading and screaming!)  If I choose not to, then I won't have peace in my spirit because I am not submitting to His will.  I'll lose sleep over this, btw!  And if there are two things that I'm not fond of, one is wrestling with my Father and the other is a lack of sleep!  So, the controversial posts are written and it is well with my soul.  Yes, later I will be attacked and criticized for what was said but I need to remind myself that they are attacking Christ, not me.  It's not easy to do, and no, I have not mastered this!

My husband's thoughts on the controversial posts are this....What I write is not my message, but rather, it is the Lord's.  My Beloved is always supportive of me tackling the difficult issues.  In fact, he feels that my personality and my voice, is made to do just that.  He leans more towards me writing the deeper, challenging posts than I do.  Funny thing about it is, a few of the posts that have brought some controversy are usually his promptings or his salacious titles!


Question:  Has there ever been a time my husband calls me to write something that I feel is beyond my comfort level?


Um, ya, that's a resounding yes!  I sometimes feel my husband thinks I'm some mighty she-warrior for the Lord, ready to go into battle looking to defeat a giant as big as Goliath!  In reality, I am just a woman trying to live by faith, looking to please the Lord, wanting to be a poured out offering for my Savior....and one who gets hurt, rejected and cries.  Even though my husband does not blog, he is a vital part of this ministry because I couldn't do this without him.  The Lord has placed him by my side specifically to encourage me while I step out in faith.  God knew that I would get attacked as I spoke/wrote His message, so he gave me a husband who is designed to uplift and minister to me when I am broken and wounded because I have embraced this call.  As any warrior that goes out to battle, we come back wounded, hurt, and bleeding and God has strategically placed my man (along with a few dear women) right by my side where they use the gifts that the Lord has given to them just for this purpose and all for His glory.   More times than not, my Beloved is always the one pressing me to further step out in faith, rather than it being the other way around.  But again, he knows that the Lord has called him to minister to me for God's glory.  However, he has also learned to protect my spiritual well-being and he has figured out that I can only handle so many attacks all at once!


Question:  Is there ever a time you feel compelled to share something where your husband advises against it?


I can't ever think of a time when I felt more compelled to share something that my Beloved was not in agreement with.  However, there have been times when he has told me not to read certain comments, emails, go into forums, etc., because he knew how it would negatively effect my spiritual well-being and he is not interested in having that happen.  Been there, done that!  So, I learned to heed his words because he is wanting to protect me, not hinder me in ministry.  In fact, there have been times when he has asked me for my computer so he could reply to comments/emails and I have just handed it over to him without question.  Again, he has been placed by my side to protect me and encourage me.  He's got my back, therefore, I have learned not to control him.


Question:  How do you remain committed to submitting to God’s will?


He died for me.  His blood was poured out for me.  He hung on the cross for me.  He redeemed and restored this former woman at the well.  He adopted me into His family.  He has given me eternal life.  The least I can do for my Savior is pour out my life for Him and build up His kingdom....regardless of how uncomfortable that feels and how many people (Christians or non-Christians, alike) disapprove of me.  I certainly have not perfected this.  I fail daily, but daily I try again, and again.


Question:  How do you remain committed to submitting to your husband's will?


Again, we have learned that within this ministry, God has called me to write and God has called my man to minister to me.  It is an interesting ministry to say the least!  There are certainly moments when my Beloved has asked me to write something I am completely uncomfortable with, but I have to remind myself that God has placed him as my headship.  Ultimately, if I get attacked, (and I get discouraged and cry) then my Beloved comes to my side and comforts and encourages me; that's his role. It has been a learning process for both of us.  We have had conversations of what I need from him in order to keep sticking my neck out for Christ, and how I get tired of being stoned by the brethren.  I am not interested in running ahead of my husband, because if I do, I am alone and unprotected.  So, we go together because we are 'one'.

Believe it or not, I don't seek out to write controversial posts, I just write what God has put on my heart knowing full well there will be attacks.   I would be spiritually naive to think that wouldn't happen.  I am sure the enemy would love for me to keep my mouth shut, but then again, we are in a spiritual battle!



For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.  Ephesians 6:12


I can't help but think about Ezekiel and Paul and all they went through for the Lord.  The call is to be obedient, not comfortable!

How about you?  Is God calling you to do something that is difficult or against the norm?  Will you heed the call even if it makes you feel uneasy?

12 comments:

  1. I have never been offended by any of your posts. I enjoy reading them!

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  2. Thank you!! I needed to read this! I've been struggling with whether or not to keep blogging and this was such an encouragement.

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  3. So blessed to hear that this ministered to you Sharon!

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  4. Maybe this problem is most apparent in theology/biblical issues. By way of example, I have heard one preacher say "God spoke to me and told me to tell you all the truth about predestination...." and I have heard an equally astute and God-loving preacher say "God spoke to me and told me the truth about free-will...." (I am just using the pre-destinatin controversy as an example, I have seen Christian men and women alike, including me at times, say that God told them, or it was God's will/message, to back their stance on any number of controversial biblical issues) How can God give two people, both of whom love Him and are genuinely seeking His will, two opposite answers?

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  5. What a beautiful explanation of your ministry. The Lord is truly using you as a vessel (which is so cool because your blog is called Alabaster Jar, have you ever thought of that?) I have never once thought that you sought out controversy for controversy's sake. I think Jesus's stongest and most important messages were also the most controversial, but he didn't shy away from the Truth of who His Father was simply to avoid attacks and backlash. Please keep writing the Truth the Lord places on your heart, whether it is controversial and complex, or as simple and unifying as the love of the Gospel.

    Of course I do have a question: Do you ever hesitate saying that something you wrote or some action you took was "the Lord's will" or "the Lord's message"? I struggle with this. I have thought in the past that something was God's will, but hindsight has shown that I was mistaken. Also, when someone labels a message, an action, a relationship, or a major life decision God's will, it pretty much closes the door to any less than favorable responses or feeback because no one wants to challenge what is labeled "God's will." I actually think this can be a little problematic at times. I know I am probably guilty of labeling something as "God's will" when really it was my will and I wanted to avoid any negative reactions. I have seen Christian friends label less than ideal relationships, career decisions, and stances on obviously complex biblical issues as "God approved/God's will." But His ways are higher than our ways, and we can never completely know God's heart....It seems like such a constant balancing act of trying to discern God's will, accept God's will, and make sure we aren't labeling things we want or think as "God's will" just because they reflect our current opinions or circumstances.

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  6. Hi Felicity,
    I had to smile at your 'Alabaster Jar and vessel' comment! God is sooo great, He is even in the details! When I was about 99% finished with launching this blog (with a different title that I wasn't sold on, by the way) I was searching the Bible for a scripture I needed to help explain my love for Him. The Scripture was the woman with the alabaster jar. A verse I have read many, many times, but when I read it that night, the Lord took my breath away and I KNEW that was to be the title of my blog. Needless to say, I had to start all over again and design everything from scratch. For years, I have felt like a broken vessel, I wrote a post about it and how God has fashioned me into a new, better to Him, and more useful vessel for His kingdom. So, yes, there is a correlation to the title and being a vessel. I also sign my posts to live a poured out life (like a vessel/Alabaster Jar) for the Master. This was all the Lord's idea though. I am not bright enough nor creative enough to come up with this stuff! Thanks for your encouragement to keep speaking the Truth! Regarding your in depth question regarding God's will, I'll have to answer that one in a post. (I love your questions, btw!) I believe it would be good for others to hear about the leading of the Holy Spirit as well. I am currently working on The Lazy Husband post right now, so, I am not sure how quickly I'll get to it. I do wait for the Lord to speak to me regarding the more complex posts because I really want it to be His words and not my own.
    Blessings to you friend,
    ~jolene

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  7. I love the way you speak the truth with love and humor. You cause me to really dig deep to follow the Lord through difficulties. Your faith is an inspiration. God bless you!

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  8. Hey Marianne,
    Thanks for your sweet words, they blessed me. I think your faith is pretty deep as well! Ya, know, your boy did sail around the world!:) I was at CHEA when you spoke about it!!
    The Lord is with you sister, don't you forget that!
    Blessings,
    ~jolene

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  9. Oh, it is a small world (no pun intended!). I am so inspired to put my blog in God's hands and see where He wants to take it. I know He has called me to it. Now I am seeking Him for direction. Loving following your blog - really lovely!

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  10. Jolene,
    I enjoyed reading this as I saw much of myself. I am not a homemaker, am not an aspiring writer nor ever want to blog for money. I write what I feel and where I feel God leads. I have a post coming out tomorrow on Christians supporting Kony 2012 that I know will ruffle feathers but it is where I feel God calling. And, my husband is 100% behind it. He even told me a sentence to add :).
    I say, good for you. We need to read things that will challenge us!

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  11. Shanda,
    Happy to hear that you can identify with my ministry! Yes, we do need to read things that will challenge us! Love that. Link up here on Monday. I'd love to read your post. Don't know a whole lot of anything about Kony!
    ~jolene

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Your kind remarks bless me tremendously!

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