We had moved for the 4th time in 18 months. I felt like I had a full-time job at a mover's company along with a part-time job working at Molly Maid's as I cleaned each home we moved in and out of.
The LAST thing I felt like was a wife! Do my hair, put on makeup, look nice for my man AND have a loving countenance? Ya, right! Who are you kiddin'? As exhaustion set in I could barely get out of bed in the morning, let alone look all pretty and be as sweet as pie for my Beloved.
But that was our way of life for sometime. It was our new normal and I didn't know when it would end. It would've been easy to get stuck in a rut and have my marriage take a new course; a course that I wasn't interested in taking.
It was time for me to pull up my bootstraps and figure this thing out because the last thing I wanted was for my marriage to feel like it was just two people going through life who happened to live under the same roof. I married my man for a reason, and the reason wasn't just because we were good at packing and moving boxes and rearranging furniture.
Trials will always be a part of life, and as Believers, we should expect them!
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33
When the waves of the storm come crashing down, you need to figure out how to keep your marriage strong so your passion does not drown. Here's some tips to help you.
8 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong During Trials
- Pray together. By doing this, you are tapping into the spiritual side of your relationship which brings more intimacy between you and your man. (If your husband is not a Believer, ask him if he wouldn't mind you praying with him during this difficult time.)
- Encourage each other in the Lord.
- Work hard to keep your focus off of yourself. When life gets real hard, it is easy for selfishness to rear it's ugly head and it can tear down and destroy your marriage. Pray for strength and self-control so the nasty and snide comments are not uttered from your lips.
- Stay in fellowship. Don't forsake the assembling of saints. This will help nourish your soul and give you sustenance needed to carry on in difficult times.
- Keep your perspective on the eternal things. This will help lessen your fears, anxiety, anger, and discouragement. Remember, your trial may feel like it will last forever, but in reality, it won't because this is not our home.
- Plan to have some alone time even if it means you stay home and put the kids to bed early. You need to recover, rekindle, and invest in your marriage so you can weather the storms. Put forth the effort and be creative in making this happen.
- Don't neglect the Marriage Bed. You need the physical intimacy to help remind you that you are still husband and wife, not just two people living under the same roof going through hard times.
- In case the waters are so deep and you find your marriage drowning, purchase some snorkeling gear or a deep sea divers air tank so you can breathe! In other words, have a sense of humor and find something to laugh at, even if it is something stupid.
A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. Proverbs 15:13
I am a 'why' person. I like to know what the point or the reason is for doing things. So, let me give you the 'why' to doing some of these things for your marriage...
If you let your passion go....
If you are constantly at odds with your man....
If there is nothing loving about your marriage.....
EXPECT problems in wedded bliss.
And when problems become the norm, your love, your union will start to erode and break down. Satan is very happy about this, by the way. Then what could happen?....the talk of divorce comes up or a potential affair could be right around the corner. God is not happy about this, by the way.
So, be fierce about protecting and safeguarding your marriage, ESPECIALLY during trials. The last thing you need is to have a marital trial added to your existing trials!
Live a poured out life for the Master,
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What a fantastic post! Thank you so much for passing along your wisdom to us! :)
ReplyDeleteExcellent steps to keep marriages strong. I pray your post yields positive results in many homes. I always feel like I can face any storm if my husband is by my side--one in Christ.
ReplyDeleteMay His Word go forth. Thanks Pamela!
ReplyDeleteHumbled by your words, Kristen!
ReplyDelete~jolene
[...] up with Martial Oneness Mondays! uplift with prayer, Words to Encourage ← Toning Down Your [...]
ReplyDeleteJolene,
ReplyDeleteI just joined No Ordinary BlogHop and found your blog. You hit on great points with this post, and I especially liked #8, the reminder to enjoy laughing together! I find that when we laugh (or crack a smile, if it's just too hard to laugh at the moment!), it reminds us that we're human, that this too shall pass, and that we are friends.
Thanks for the post!
Blessings,
Ann
Nice to meet you, Ann! Glad to hear you liked the post!
DeleteBlessings,
~jolene