I'm Moving

In the next few days I'll be moving.....

My blog, that is!

My new site is at www.joleneengle.com but it's a big fat mess over there right now!  It kinda looks like my real home. :)

Anyways, I wanted to let you know because I have yet to move over my subscribers/readers just yet and in case I lose you, (yes this has happened to me before,) you'll know where to find me!

So if you come looking for me wondering why you haven't received a recent post, it's because I couldn't figure out how to move my subscribers over.  If that's the case, you'll need to re-subscribe at my new home!

Live a poured out life for Christ,

Did you enjoy reading The Alabaster Jar?

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10 Things a Broken Husband Needs from His Wife

I'm a broken woman in so many ways.  I was broken before I came to Christ. I was broken before I got married.  God has broken me after I walked down the aisle and He has broken me while I've been walking The Narrow Path.

I'm broken.....and I'm okay with that.  However, I didn't always feel that way!

So as I write this post to you, dear friend, I write it as a broken vessel; one who is fully acquainted with:

• pain
• rejections
• persecutions
• rejections
• physical limitations
• heartaches
• rejections
• failures
• depression
• despair
• and oh, I can't forget....rejections!

I'm a walking scar and I know it.  Although my scars don't define me, they have shaped me.

But.....I'm transformed, made whole, and embraced by the One Who is Defined by His Scars.

So I get it.  I get the hurting, the fear of the unknown, the disappointments, as well as the insecurities that one faces.

So this brings me to The Broken Husband whom I'm discussing today.  If you've missed my prior posts in this series of Helping Your Husband to Lead, you can start here.

Excuse the Dust

Things are changing here again so pardon the construction zone!  I'm playing around and trying to make room for more content/series/books, etc. so others can find things around here.  Next month I'll be changing my blogging platform altogether because I'll have more options for order.  And I like order! But I'm not very technical, so....hang on for the ride!  I'll keep you updated with the changes. Hopefully I won't lose you as a subscriber when I make the move.   I'll do my best to keep you in the loop!

I know many of you are waiting for more of my Helping Your Husband to Lead series and I appreciate your grace.  Yesterday I enjoyed spoiling my eldest as we celebrated his 13th birthday!  So now I'm officially a mother of a teenager.  Wow!  I don't know how that happened.  Well....I do know how that happened. (wink). 

Also, I know my comments have been lost as well and I'm not sure if my commenting system is even working.  I don't plan to fix the past but I will do my best to make sure you can still comment on future posts.

I hope to get back to the series within the next few days.

Live a poured out life for Christ,

Did you enjoy reading The Alabaster Jar?

To receive future posts you can subscribe via email and Facebook.

4 Ways to Help Your Husband When He Doesn't Want to Lead...& a Link Up!

I didn't expect so much response and emails from wives whose husbands are not leading their families, therefore, this topic is turning into a little series!

If you're new here and you're dealing with this issue in your marriage then you'll want to start reading the following posts.

14 Reasons Why a Husband Doesn't Lead His Home

Helping Your Husband to Lead When He Doesn't Know How (Not all men had a role model or a good role model to show them how to lead their families.)

Helping Your Passive Husband to Lead (This is the man with a passive personality; someone who is not a natural-born leader.)

Becoming Content While You're Waiting for Your Life to Change (I threw this one in there because we can all learn a little bit of contentment when things are not going our way.  Right?)

Today's post I'm covering the husband who doesn't want to lead his family regardless of his personality.

Can't Find the Links to My E-book?

Can't find the links to my ebook?  Here's a screenshot of my email so you can see what I'm talking about!

The links are at the very bottom of my post in your email of feed reader.

Live a poured out life for Christ,

Did you enjoy reading The Alabaster Jar?

To receive future posts you can subscribe via email and Facebook.

Book Update

Christmas is coming and the promotional for my FREE e-book is ending on November 10th!  
If you don't know much about this book, here's the low-down....
Bring the heart of your child back to the foundation of Christmas which is centered on the King of Kings. This book gives you interactive, Christ-centered activities and traditions to strengthen your child's Christian faith. Turn your child's eyes towards what truly matters at Christmas; Jesus Christ. Filled with Christian values and traditions that will teach your child a God-centered worldview during the glorious Christmas season. Fun things to do for the whole family.

Becoming Content While You're Waiting for Your Life to Change

Can you remember the time before you got married?  The time when you longingly waited with great anticipation to meet your future husband?  When you couldn't wait to fall in love and be a bride?  

I remember those days and I also remember thinking that the waiting was HARD!  And it's hard for this dear reader that wrote in too!  (For those of you that are already married, the principle I'm going to cover at the end of this post will help you greatly as you wait for whatever situation you may find yourself in today, especially if your man is not leading the home.  So I encourage you to keep reading!)

This young woman writes:

Dear Jolene,

I am so fully convinced that marriage is a gift from God, and I am excited to be a wife and a mother someday. What an amazing privilege those two callings are!  So, with this all said, I am no where near marriage or motherhood. But my heart aches and longs for it. It's what I desire, more than anything that this world has to offer. How should I deal with this, and how can I deal with knowing that this will definitely not come to pass for many years? I know discontentment is not from God, but I feel unhappy that I am unable to have either of these blessings (marriage or motherhood) for many many years.  But I can't have it yet. What should I do?

~an eager wife and mom

Dear Eager Wife and Mom,

What a beautiful heart you have for marriage and motherhood!  You are wise to realize that discontentment is not from God.  However, one thing that is from God is His timing in your life, yet God's timing is usually much slower than our own!

Helping Your Passive Husband to Lead

I'm a mom of two boys, ages 11 and 12.  Both of them came straight from my womb.  They have the same father, the same upbringing, same teacher their entire life (I home school them), and they even share the same bedroom.  Yet, they are complete polar opposites!

My eldest is a dominant personality.  He's aggressive and assertive and a natural born leader.  When he was about 5 yrs. old he asked me who it was that was in charge of the Indians.  I told him it's the chief.  He then proceeded to tell me that he wants to be the chief!  

My youngest is gentle, sweet, and sensitive.  At a very young age he expressed that he was content to be a follower!  If this boy were to ever lead a family, then I knew as parent I had some work to do.

One boy naturally steps forward and the other naturally steps back.

As their character continues to grow, I watch.....

I watch for the weeds in my eldest.  Weeds of domination and insensitivity towards others. Tendencies to ruler rather than to servant-lead like Jesus.

I watch for the weeds in my youngest.  Weeds of passivity; tendencies to be so laid back that things go undone.  

They each have their own strengthens and weaknesses and both are fearfully and wonderfully made. God has etched out a purpose for both their personalities to be used for His glory.

Just like God has for your man!

Helping Your Husband to Lead When He Doesn't Know How...& a Link Up!

Last week I covered the 14 Reasons Why a Husband Doesn't Lead His Home.  If you missed that post, you can read it here because you'll want to know why he's not leading so you can help him.

For the next several days I'm going to list out various ways you can help your man step up into his God-ordained leadership position of your family.  Today I'm addressing when he doesn't know how to lead.

Using Social Media for the Glory of God?

My sweet friend, Laura over at Beholding Glory, along with her friend Angie Pratt recently wrote a short ebook called, Reach, How to Use Your Social Media Influence for the Glory of God, and Laura asked me if I'd review it for her.

First, I want to say I'm so thankful I did read this book because it really spoke to this non-technical person's heart!  I'm not good at Social Media, at all.  Perhaps if I were 20 years younger, then I think the whole social media thing wouldn't be so difficult to learn and get involved with.  But being that I'm in my 40's, it's been quite challenging for me to embrace and learn this new concept.  Please don't ask me how to use Twitter because I'm challenged by that platform!

Anyways, I entered into the Social Media world when I accepted a friend request for Facebook many years ago.  As I read the email I thought,

"Well, I know that person but what in the world is Facebook?"

Marriage Lessons from a Bicycle Built for Two

The tandem bike.  

That's what my man and I received from a friend.

The bike was left to her by someone else and it was practically brand new.  And we received it as a gift; for free.  I was surprised the original owners just gave it away.

My Beloved and I couldn't wait to take it out for a ride. 

Since both my man and I already knew how to ride a bike we figured riding a tandem one would be A. Piece. of. Cake!  

This is when we learned that riding a tandem bike is much like living an intentional, Biblical marriage....

FREE e-book: How to Strengthen Your Child's Faith at Christmas

I know it's a little early to be thinking about Christmas, but I have finally finished this ebook!  It's free to my readers and any new subscribers until November 10th, so grab it now!  Soon it'll be released on Amazon and you can get it for your Kindle.

Now I must tell you that I really wrestled with charging a fee for this because my heart is to encourage and equip every person that stops by my little ministry home to grow in Christ. But....this little on-line space is starting to grow and I need to start bringing in some funds to support the ministry.  Hence, the reason I decided to charge for the book.

14 Reasons Why a Husband Doesn't Lead His Family...& a Link Up!

I've been wanting to write this post for a while now and since one of my readers contacted me over this very issue, I thought I share this topic with everyone.  I know this dear wife is not alone in her situation. 

Dear Jolene,

I have been the bread winner in my family for some time now and I believe my husband is having a hard time figuring out how to step into this role. He has a tendency to be lazy.  I don’t want to be the head of our house, spiritually, financially, or in any other way.  But I feel like this is the route our life is taking and I want to get off that highway (so to speak) and live the way God intended with my husband in that role.  I just need him to be the leader in our home.

Signed,
~Needing help understanding and supporting my husband

Ask Jolene

I get emails from readers quite often and I must say that I absolutely LOVE your questions because my favorite type of ministry is one on one discipleship!  Therefore, I decided to openly invite you all to ask whatever it is that you're struggling with or the dilemma you can't seem to figure out.  If I can't answer your question, I'll let you know.

My heart's passion is in discipling and encouraging wives to grow a Godly marriage, single women, women's issues/friendships, outside ministry, and the discipleship of our children.

Here's a peak into my little corner of where I write for God's glory.  What you can't see in this pic is my laptop computer that is resting on a basket near my feet!

Top 15 Ways a Wife Can Strengthen Her Marriage

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, 

but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. 

Proverbs 12:4

10 Ways to Handle a Spiritually Unequal Marriage...& a Link Up!

Question from a reader.......

Dear Jolene,
I am 22 and a newly married woman and my husband and I got married in July of this year.  He comes from a Jewish background and he accepted the Lord into his heart around 1 1/2 years ago to 2 years ago. He is still very new to the Lord.  I was raised in a Christian family.  I accepted the Lord into my heart when I was 6 and stood firm for a while but then reached high  school and university years and drifted away.  I have come back to the Lord and am walking with him, and trying to grow with Jesus now that I am an adult. 
One way we really need to work on our marriage is spending time with the Lord together. We will wake up have breakfast and then sit down and read separately in the bible and then come together at the end and share a little about what we read and then read our daily "Utmost for His Highest" devotional.  However we always end up bickering about something. I guess because I am from a Christian family I just know more about the scriptures or I don't know.  I don't like saying it like that but anyway I have walked with the Lord longer and have had all of His teachings around me pretty much my whole life. But my husband hasn't and so I guess because of that he voices his opinions and sometimes it freaks me out because they won't be right on track with what the Bible says. Or not even that, sometimes he just won't feel moved about what we've read or he feels like me voicing my opinions or what I thought of our devotional makes him a bad leader. He doesn't feel like he's being a leader.  I just need advice.  I feel discouraged and he does too and then I just feel fruitless.  
 ~frustrated newlywed

Are You More Like His Mother or His Lover?

The need to control.  That's what we do as wives.

It's our flesh seeping out and if we can't get it under control, then our marital oneness will start to erode.

And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.  Genesis 3:16 (NLT)

Here's what mothering our men looks like:

We tell him he doesn't know how to parent, how to handle finances, how to lead the family, or even how to buy groceries!  Don't believe me on this?  Take a look around at our society and you'll see how we're being conditioned by the world as they tell us that men are a bunch of idiots, completely incompetent to handle even the smallest tasks.

Can you just let things go and enjoy the man you married?

Continue reading here where I'm guest posting today at Unveiled Wife!

Live a poured out life for Christ,

Did you enjoy reading The Alabaster Jar?

To receive future posts you can subscribe via email and Facebook.

Christmas E-Book Coming Soon!

I mentioned awhile back in a prior post that I wrote a short e-book a few years ago on the topic of strengthening your child's faith at Christmas.  Being that the majority of my posts here on The Alabaster Jar are written on marriage, and when I have more time on my hands I write on growing your Faith, I'm sure some of you were quite surprised that I wrote an e-book geared towards discipling your children.  

Although the tagline on this blog has mothering in it, I've considered dropping it several times but the Lord keeps tells me no, so that's why I leave it there.  Anyways, I focus more on marriage and your walk with the Lord and here's why:  I believe if I can encourage and equip you to deepen your faith and have a strong, Christ-centered marriage, then those two things will help you in your parenting.  With a stronger marriage, it'll make parenting your kiddos easier.  Notice I didn't say easy, just easier!  Remember, we're raising sinners.

You might be asking yourself why in the world did I write a book on discipleship, then?  Well, this post will give you a little bit of history on my e-book as well as my writing ministry.

Go now, write it on a tablet for them, inscribe it on a scroll, that for the days to come it may be an everlasting witness.  Isaiah 30:8

Free Wives of the Bible E-book!

Many of you have asked if my Wives of the Bible Series can be printed.  Well, I just put the series into an E-book just for you!

Subscribe to The Alabaster Jar and receive my FREE e-book, Wives of the Bible.

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Once you subscribe, you'll receive a confirmation email, and in that email is a link to my ebook. 

Live a poured out life for Christ,

Did you enjoy reading The Alabaster Jar?

To receive future posts you can subscribe via email and Facebook.

More Wives of the Bible?...and a Link Up!

Since I just finished up my Wives of the Bible Series I've been asked by many of you if I'll be writing about more wives. 

Well, the answer is a resounding yes!   But I won't be doing so until much later and I'll be writing about them in a different format.

I've also been asked if my series could be used in a Bible study or small group.  Of course you can share this in a group setting!  I'm blessed to hear that what I've written is being used and ministering to wives all around the world.  To God be the glory!

Another question I've been asked is if I would write about Moms of the Bible.  I've been praying about this one for awhile (since I started the Wives series) and I just might write about them.  But again, this series would come much later down the road. 

I know many of you are new here since you found me on Pinterest. Well, let me just give you a big hug and a warm welcome.  You've blessed my heart already!  I also wanted to let you know that I usually post here twice a week; not everyday like what you were receiving from the wives series.  I'd be brain dead if I wrote daily and my family would go hungry!