The Refiner's Fire

I felt it was time to start sharing with you some of the things the Lord has taken my family and I through over the last 3 ½ years since I realized that some of the posts that I have written to you lately have just given you bits and pieces of our lives.

In the fall of 2007 my husband and I started a new ministry and along with creating that organization we took on the responsibility of discipling a group of teenagers during the course of the school year.  (I share this bit of our lives with you to remind you that we are in a spiritual battle.)  As we stepped out in faith to serve the Lord and minister to others, Satan was seeking to destroy every bit of our efforts.

My husband has been self-employed since he was 18.  He has been in real estate for the last 15 years.  As soon as we stepped out in faith in these areas of ministry we experienced one trial after another.

• The first one was a four year lawsuit.  It was real estate related, and the suit was filed by the buyer of a property, against my husband and the sellers of the property.  The sellers did not tell the buyers, or my husband, about special restrictions on the property, although they stated in writing that there were not any restrictions, (they lied in writing).  By the way, the sellers were Believers and it was their lie that caused the action.  What made matters worse, the seller’s attorney told my husband that he found no fault in my husband’s actions but they had to file a cross claim on him any way so he could protect his clients.  After the buyers had purchased the home, and after they found out about the restrictions, they fraudulently refinanced the home twice to spend large amounts of money on personal items and wanted my husband to foot the bill.  All of this did not sit to well with my husband and I but what could we do?  Anyway, we paid an attorney our last $5,000 to represent us in this case.  That money lasted about 3 weeks.  From that point on my husband had to learn how to legally represent himself for the remainder of the case without the legal knowledge needed to do so.

• Within a 45 day period, the real estate industry and the equity that sellers had (the clients my husband dealt with) came to a screeching halt, DEAD!

• About a month or two after the lawsuit was in full swing, we received notice from the IRS of an audit for a preceding year.  The focus of the audit was the amount of our deducted ‘contributions’ (tithes) for that year.  The IRS said they were too high and thus, they investigated us.

• At this time, the “Do Not Call” telephone policy was in effect.  My husband had followed up with a property inquiry from a lady from four months earlier, and promptly received a letter from the Federal Trade Commission threatening to fine him $11,000.  Even though she contacted him first, the law says that he cannot contact her any later than 90 days.  This now means that he cannot contact any past clients, contacts, leads, etc. if they had not contacted him first within the last 90 days.  On top of the market woes, this completely shut down the way he had made a living for the past 11 years.

• Finances were strained, so cutting business costs were the natural next step.  He proceeded to reduce the number of phone lines he had to lower his business expenses.  The phone company said that only for $8,000 they would let him change his contract and reduce the number of lines.  He didn’t have the money.  He couldn’t afford the high business phone bill as it was, so he lost his business telephone number.  This was the number that all of his past clients knew for the past 11 years.  Now, he can’t call them, and they can’t call him…it was tough to do business that way!

I can’t tell you how many times I wondered about what was going to happen to our family based on our current situation.  We were never late on a mortgage payment and at the time our credit scores were high, but soon, that all changed and our property went into default.  I did not understand why this was all happening to us.  We tried to live an obedient, God-fearing life, yet, I felt like the Lord had forsaken us in ALL these situations.

My husband would often say to me he felt like a failure and my heart would break for him.  There wasn't anything I could do for him financially because we had made the choice when we were engaged to have our roles as husband and wife line up with the Word of God, i.e., the husband was to toil the field (work) and the wife was to raise the kids and keep the home.

We had family and friends encourage me to get a job so we could save our home.  To myself, I would laugh at that thought!  In essence, it was as if they were saying it was more important for us to save our physical house which was built with wood, hay, and stubble, rather than keep our family unit, the relationships that our Maker designed for us, in tact.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; "but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21 

I would remind them I already had a full-time job which was helping my husband, raising and homeschooling my children and keeping our home.  The last thing I wanted to do in the midst of this raging, tsunami of a storm, was go out and leave my family.  My husband needed my encouragement and support.  He needed me standing by him no matter what happened to us financially.  He didn't need me to come home with a paycheck to make him feel like he was some loser who couldn't provide for his own family. 

"The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands."  Proverbs 14:1 

I was placed by his side to lift him up, not tear him down.

So, that is what I tried to do.  I would pray for him and talk with him and listen to his hurts and frustrations.  As I would spend time daily reading the Word, there were times that the Lord would prompt me to read those verses to my husband as well.  Reading the Scriptures to him soon became an on-going way of life for many months to come.  My husband knew by me taking the time out of my day to pour into him spiritually I was telling him that I believed in him, I loved him, I respected him and I would always be by his side no matter what trial came our way.

We often had discussions about what would happen if we lost our home and where would we go if we had no money.  We had said that if it ever got so bad for us financially, the boys and I would go live at a homeless shelter for women and children and my husband would sleep in his truck parked outside of the shelter so he could still be with us.  We were determined to live our lives built on the Word of God no matter how uncomfortable it would be for us and no matter what those in the world had to say about it!  We did not care what others thought, we cared about what God thought. 

According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation, and another builds on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it. For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one's work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one's work, of what sort it is. If anyone's work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. 1 Corinthians 3:10-14.

The story has not ended, there is more fire to come in Lord, Why On Earth Would You Allow This?

The Work of Ministry Part 1

"And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ."  Ephesians 4:11,12

Isn't it nice to be needed?  To feel appreciated.  To use your talents, skills and spiritual gifts.  How about this one...to be used by the Creator of the Universe to further His kingdom and to bring Him glory?  I love ministry.  I love being used by the Lord to make an impact on His behalf for His children, but ministry is not always a wonderful feeling, it also takes a lot of hard work and dedication.  If you have been following the Lord for any amount of time, surely you have been involved in some type of  ministry during your walk with our precious Savior.  If you are a wife and mother like me, you serve Jesus as you minister to your family on a daily basis;  and yes, that includes cleaning toilets!

I think it is easy for us Christian women to often forget what are the main priorities that Christ would have us put first in our lives before we over commitment ourselves in various outside ministries.  Let's look into the scriptures and see what the Word of God has to say about a woman's role and her character.

"...the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed."  Titus 2:3-5

Do you see the order of this verse regarding what a godly woman should be doing?

First:  It talks about our godly character, hence our relationship with the Lord.

Second:  we are to love our husband.

Third: we are to love our children.

Fourth:  we are to work on our godly character again and we are also called to be homemakers.

That's a lot of ministry for each day!  I get tired just thinking about all my responsibilities!

Depending on the season of life that you are in, it will determine how much time you can allot for outside ministries.  Obviously if you are raising babies and toddlers right now, that in itself will require a lot of your time at home.  If you have chosen to homeschool your children, that will limit your involvement to outside ministries as well.

Listen to what the Lord is telling you.  If you have been serving in an outside ministry which is taking you from your first ministries, be obedient to the Lord's prompting and step down from your involvement, (more on this topic will be covered in The Work of Ministry Part 2). On the other hand, perhaps the Lord is telling you to get involved in a ministry, step out in faith and answer His call.

Most importantly as we pursue the Lord we want to honor Him by being obedient to His word.  So, in a nutshell, love Christ, love your husband and children and keep your home....then serve others!

I have just scratched the surface regarding this topic and I will write more in the coming days, but for now, my first ministries are calling me!

A True Friend

 

It is inevitable that at some point in our lives we will get hurt by our friends, after all, we live in a broken and fallen world and no human being is perfect.  When you feel the sting of pain from others, know that your Savior has an undying love for you. 

Isn’t it nice to know that Jesus will always accept us, never condemn us and give us unconditional love?  He will always be merciful and ever so gracious to us all the days of our lives.  He will accept our personalities and all the quirks that go with it.  He will overlook our failures and cheer us on when we fall.  He will always forgive us of our sins when we confess them to Him. 

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  1 John 1:9

Jesus is the perfect friend and He will always be there for us. 

“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”  Proverbs 18:24 

Our Savior’s outstretched arms and scared hands will embrace us when we run to Him for healing, comfort and acceptance.

"He found him in a desert land and in the wasteland, a howling wilderness; He encircled him, He instructed him, He kept him as the apple of His eye.”  Deuteronomy 32:10

There will be times when we experience a deserted wasteland in our own lives, but God is encircling us and instructing us.  We are the apple of His eye and His eye is the only eye that truly matters.

You are loved.

Jesus at the Dumpster

The dust is finally starting to settle over here after our recent move and I do apologize for not taking the time to post any new articles in the previous weeks.  For some time now, it has been on my heart to write to you and share how I encountered Jesus at the garbage dumpster. Yes, yes, I know, it is an odd statement, but a true one!

It was on a Saturday morning and I was just beginning to pack our home to move for the second time in 10 months. My husband had asked me what I was doing that morning and I replied with a disgusted tone,

“Digging in dumpsters to look for boxes, again, for the third day in a row.” (I was not happy about what I had to do that day!)

My husband dropped his head when he heard my words. Although his head hung in shame, I was still able to see the grief and sadness on his face and in his eyes. Even though he did not speak the words that were in his heart and on his mind, I knew he was telling me he felt like a failure, that he could not provide enough money for us to stay in our rental home. I knew he was telling me how he was sorry that he did not have the monetary resources to even purchase boxes nor the time to go look in the dumpsters to get them.

I know this man’s heart.

He would do anything for me and our children, yet, at the time, I did not feel like he was doing enough to provide for my selfish needs, and that was what my nasty attitude conveyed to him. I know... how selfish am I?

By my tone of grumbling and complaining, I realized in that moment that I had torn down my house. I fell again and I missed the mark and became the foolish woman.

“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1

The only thing I have control over is my character; my actions and my attitudes. Jesus wants us to respect our husbands and to encourage them and lift them up, not tear them down. Although I was not arguing with my husband over some decisions, I certainly was not building my marriage (house) up.

It was not my desire that day to be a foolish or contentious woman, but that is how I acted.

“It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” Proverbs 25:24

As I set out that morning to literally frolic in garbage, I became so discouraged. I was tired of digging in dumpsters. I was overwhelmed with the thought of packing and moving again, only to face the possibility of another move, or homelessness within months after this move.  I was beat down with persecutions by family, friends and neighbors. I did not know if we would have money for our basic needs:  food, utilities, medications, or if/when my car would be repossessed. What made matters worse, just a few days earlier someone stole parts off my car which made it inoperable and posing a possible $3,500 repair bill.

I felt in that moment that life could not get much worse than what I had been experiencing.

I was losing it.

I was going to that dark place of negative thoughts...you know the one.

The place where you don’t want to hear comments like: this is just for a season, things will turn around, keep praying, etc.

I did not feel like praying to Jesus that day.  After all, what was He going to do?  Is He going to come down off His throne and dig in the dumpster with me?

Depression and despair were quickly becoming my friends once again.

I finally drove up to the last dumpster for the day and I could smell the foul stench of rubbish on me as I was walked over to the trash can. Interestingly enough, the sickening smell of refuse was all around me but it wasn’t until now that I had noticed and I thought, man I sure need a shower!

As I walked up to the dumpster, the Lord prompted my heart and said,

“Oh daughter of mine, you may physically smell repulsive right now and you may think your situation looks bleak, but what about those who do not know Me, those who do not put their hope and trust in Me, those who reject Me, those who will be spending eternity in hell?

I heard my Savior loud and clear, in fact, I smiled when I heard His voice. I thought, “Wow, Lord, you met me right here.  (It was like Jesus was leaning up against the dumpster as I walked toward it in a down-trodden way.)

"You knew I needed you today”, I thought to myself.

The "Great I Am" gave me a reality check, or should I say an eternal-reality check. I got back into the car and started to drive home and quite honestly, I wept for those who didn't know Jesus Christ as their personal Savior.

Every single one of us will go through tough times in life.

Times when things don’t make sense.

Times when you can’t hang on for much longer.

Times when you ask yourself, “Does God really care about me”?

I can’t even imagine going through life without having Christ by my side (or the times when He is carrying me because I can no longer walk!)

No, it definitely was not an enjoyable experience that day as I would literally climb into dumpster after dumpster filled with nauseating waste, but what the Lord spoke to my heart is that I would not be spending eternity in such filth. My future isn’t so bleak after all!

Was I going to be a sweet-smelling aroma to Him, He asked me?

Would I still praise His name in the midst of all of this so others could see the hope, peace and joy I have?

Or would I be a stench to His nostrils because of my selfishness, self-absorbed and self-centered actions and attitudes, He asked?

There was no reason for me to feel so discouraged that day. Why didn’t I put my hope and trust into Jesus at that time?

When you are faced with adversity, what type of smell will you emanate? Will it be a sweet smelling aroma or a foul stench? We always have a choice on how we will handle our actions and attitudes. As well, we have a choice in where we will put our trust.

In whom will you put your trust?

“And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.” Psalm 9:10

Although I did not enjoy my time with the rubbish that day, I will never forget how Jesus spoke to my heart through this experience. Sometimes we need to go through hard things so we can experience more of Christ so we can be molded into His image.

He is so faithful too. He used the Body of Christ to drop off a multitude of boxes at my house the next day!

So, I encourage you to cling to Jesus when your world is filled with garbage and may you be a sweet-smelling aroma to Him as well!

Holding On

A lost home, no money to pay for rent, moving again and now theft to our car which will make the coming days ahead even more difficult, painful and laborious.

I could cry because of our afflictions, argue with God, doubt where He is taking us or be still and know that He is God.

So, I choose Christ today and what He has planned for our lives.

His presence is all around me.  I can feel His long flowing robe move past me.  I look for Him.  I seek Him.  I cling to Him.

When the waters are deep and the waves are crashing in, I rest in His promises.

I have no other choice but to do those things, well, actually that’s not quite true.  I do have another choice, a choice that the enemy would be so happy for me to make because I know I am making his job difficult.

I could choose to leave Jesus Christ and walk away from the faith because life has just gotten too hard….well, from one determined and tenacious soul, that’s not gonna happen!

I believe in Him.

I believe in His promises.

I believe He will not leave me.

I believe He will carry me when I need to be carried.

I could cling to the things of this world and become discouraged in the process or I can lift up my face to Him.

There is a fire that burns down deep inside of my heart knowing that I will live for Him and Him alone.  Without Christ, I do not exist.

I have been made with one purpose, and one purpose only, and that purpose is to bring Him glory.  Period!

There is a purpose for all my pain.  There is a purpose for all of your pain too.  Let Him mold you into His image.  Let Him draw you closer to Him.  Let Him use you even in the midst of your storms because that is when His glory is revealed the most.

Regardless of the damage the enemy is trying to do in your life and mine, our God is greater.

Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy.

"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."  John 10:10  

The prince of this world desires to rip apart our lives. He wants to destroy our plans and dreams that we have for ourselves and our families.   Perhaps they weren’t great plans and dreams to begin with because God’s plans for us are to give us a future and a hope.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

This is a promise we can rest on.  Our Creator can create much more greatness than what we could ever imagine! 

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."  Ephesians 3:20,21

GOD IS SOVEREIGN, we are not!  Even when I am falling apart and my world is crashing in, I want to bring Him glory.

So, I am holding on to Him because that is the best place on earth to be!

Will you hold on to Him as well?

Have You Been Despised and Rejected?

Jesus Christ, the Savior of the World, the King of Kings and the Almighty God- "He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him."  Isaiah 53:3   Jesus is Perfect and yet He is rejected.

As I type this verse I can not help but feel pain in my heart for what our precious Savior endured while He walked on the earth and even still today as He is seated on the Throne in heaven.  He came just for our benefit, yet, what He encountered was rejection, sorrow and grief.  He had a longing to have fellowship with His creation, yet, they despised Him.  Do you ever feel like that by others?  Times when you have gone into a situation to have fellowship or to minister to others and they have rejected you and some have even despised you for it?  I know I have, in fact, I think 'rejected' could be added to my middle name because it has been a common theme for my life.  There have been times when I purposefully went into a situation to minister to someone, yet, they rejected me. Along with their rejection came my tears and my heartache and my questions to God.

Perhaps you have experienced an ache in your heart because you have been rejected by your spouse, family member, friend, coworker or neighbor.  Because of this, you have become acquainted with grief just like Jesus. We can't help but ask ourselves what have we done to cause the rejection.

Jesus was blameless and yet he was still despised, but we are not always blameless when someone rejects us. Sometimes we do offend others and they lash out at us for good reasons, yet, other times our heart and motives are pure but others still reject us for the choices we make for our families or the things we do or the convictions that we have or for the God we serve.

We may be despised by many, but never by Jesus because He will ALWAYS love us.  "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?"  Romans 8:35

The sting of rejection never feels good whether we have experienced it for the first time or the 100th time.  Try to find joy as you cling to this scripture. "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."  Matthew 5:10  This has become the verse that I hold on to when I am not received by others.

Although we would all like to be loved and received by many that will not always the case.  However, you and I are loved by the ONE that matters the most.  "But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." 1 Peter 2:9
 
Jesus has called us out of darkness so praise His name for this even while you are being rejected and despised.  Remember, you may be persecuted, by you are not forsaken!

Run to Obtain an Imperishable Crown

Over-achievement and perfection, accompanied with doubt and fear. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves as we homeschool our children. Looking back over your year, you will most likely ask yourself if you did enough. 

Did I teach my child enough math facts? 
Are my children becoming better readers and writers? 
What about science and social studies, did we do enough experiments and read an assortment of books? 

It is very natural and expected to assess how your year has gone. For the most part, this is a very healthy thing to do.  But sometimes we do it with the wrong perspective or our priorities are out of order and our assessment becomes inaccurate, and when that happens it is very common to feel defeated in our journey.   

We often hear the saying, “Put first things first”. So, if you were to assess your year, what were your priorities and what did you put first? Did you place a higher emphasis on teaching your child her multiplication facts over training a rebellious heart?  Or did you work more on shaping your child’s heart towards Christ rather than creative writing. Perhaps your answer is both. But realistically, you know in your heart that you placed a heavier emphasis on one over the other. I know for myself that when my priorities change I find myself rushing through devotions and Bible reading so I can get to the ‘so called’ more important subjects. Although that is not my heart, it is how I have been conditioned by ‘the world’.   
Yes, we want our children equipped so they can build the Kingdom of God and we want them to thrive in life, but there is always a cost to consider. 

“All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way.” Isaiah 53:6 

It is a constant battle of our mind to continue to pursue Christ and His ways BEFORE all other things. We need to always remember what the Bible says, 

“Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33 

In this verse, “all these things” refers to our basic necessities of life; food and clothing. Earlier in this passage Jesus said, “these are the things that the Gentiles seek after” and he rebukes his disciples as he tells them that “their Heavenly Father knows that they need all these things.” Will this passage still apply to our children when they are grown? Of course it will! However, it is very easy today in our society to get caught up in the ways of the Gentiles, but that is not how we would think or even speak to others as we purpose to educate our children.  

In our minds we are educating them so they could further the kingdom of God and also so they could provide for their families. Our intentions are good and honorable, but God does not require your children to have minds filled with a bunch of knowledge, He is seeking men and women who have a heart after Him, like David. 

'I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My own heart, who will do all My will.' Acts 13:22 

The Bible does not state that David was an educated man like Paul, so it is safe to assume that he was not. What the Bible does say about David is that he was a shepherd who tended and protected his flock of sheep from lions and bears.  He had boldness as he approached the king.  He had courage and faith as a young boy when he fought the giant, Goliath.  And he was a servant as he played his harp for King Saul. This was David’s resume before he became the King of Israel! 

When you read Paul’s resume, most assuredly according to the world’s standards you would be impressed by it. Paul himself said, in Philippians 3:4 that “he was a man who had confidence in his flesh”, he goes on to say, 

But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Philippians 3:7 

When you get to the end of Paul’s list of achievements, this is what he had to say about it, 

“Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ.” Philippians 3:8  

Paul knew what mattered most in his life. He spoke with authority about worthless pursuits.   

Don’t lose heart, mama, or become discouraged if you feel that your children are not measuring up. Are your goals unrealistic or are your standards too high? Perhaps your children are excelling academically but your home life is a mess and you are losing your mind because of all the pressure you put upon yourself. Keep in mind the race that you are running. 

“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown.” 1 Corinthians 9:24-25 

As hard as this journey may be at times, be encouraged to know that you are running to obtain an imperishable crown, one with an eternal purpose. Your children will reflect the things that you pour into them so make sure that the things you pursue will last forever. 

God does not require your children to have a college degree in order to use them, but what He does require is their heart!

Live a poured out life for Christ,

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