Just Because I Submit to My Husband that Does Not Make Me an Idiot

Submission.

To a woman it sounds like a deadly word.

A belittling word.

A word that can make you feel like you live in a cage.

A word that makes you angry.

A word that could leave you feeling like a second-class citizen.

Yet, that is NOT what the word means, nor how God intended it to mean in the Bible.  Of course the enemy comes and distorts the truth, just like he did when he tempted Jesus during His 40 days in the wilderness.  Satan has done the same thing with the meaning of submission.  Unfortunately, many Christian men and women have also bought into the lie... hook, line and sinker.

This brings me to the reason why I am writing this post.

I recently spent some time the other day in an on-line, public forum (non-Christian, btw) and it was an interesting time to say the least.  Now, I usually don't spend much of my time in forums because of the time factor involved, but this forum was different.  This forum had my post, the 3 Types of Wives posted within a group, and let me tell you....it raised all sorts of eyebrows and many women had their panties in a bunch!   Women were bent out of shape that I would even think to say that the husband was to be the head of the home!  I am sure they viewed my post as if I was some weak-minded woman who had no opinion and one who was being controlled by my husband.  That's just funny to write.  To think of me like that.  It's hilarious....I am sure those that know me personally are laughing out loud as well. :)

Now, not all women disagreed with what I had to say or what the Bible had to say for that matter, but there were certainly those that had some serious issues over the post.  Many expletives were used for me, the post, Christianity, the Bible and of course, God Himself!  It drew quite a bit of comments.  The last time I checked, it was @ 200!

And of course, me being me....I had to chime in. :)  I promise though, I was doing my best to be kind and gracious remembering Who I was representing, yet, I still stood firm on the Word of God.  I made a few friends too.  Really.  I am not being sarcastic this time!

But what I found to be the biggest issue that didn't go over so well in the forum was the whole submission thing and the man being the head of the household.  Let me remind you that this particular forum is not a Christian forum, although there were Christians who were in it.  If you have followed my blog for any length of time, you obviously know I write from a Biblical perspective to encourage Believers in the Lord Jesus Christ.  It is all about the Lord over here at The Alabaster Jar.  So, in a nutshell, my post, the 3 Types of Wives, went over like a lead balloon in the forum.

Now, on to my point.

I realize there are some reading this post that are Believers, and you, yourself have a hard time with submission, as well as your husband being the head of the household, especially if you think he is an idiot.  I get that.  I understand your viewpoint.

However.

Know that my voice is very loud and stern as I say these words.  (Oh to be verbally expressive!  I am starting to see how a radio show can benefit the Kingdom of God right now!)

God's Word is true.

God's Word is true.

God's Word is true.

Let me ask you this.  Do you know what the beginning of wisdom?

If you don't know the answer/verse and you're married, then I encourage you to memorize it because it will help you to have a better marriage!

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments. His praise endures forever.  Psalm 111:10

Here's a similar verse because we're so stinkin' thick-headed and God needs to remind us of this important truth,

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.  Proverbs 9:10

And just one more  with a slight variation to hammer His point home, (oh, when will we learn?)

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.  Proverbs 1:7

I don't know about you, but I don't care to be a fool in God's eyes.  If others think I am a fool, I'm okay with that.  It's not them that I will be standing before when my life here on earth is over.  It will be the King of Kings, the Great I Am, the Prince of Peace, the Almighty God!

Here's the deal.  Everyone's knee is going to bow to the Lord at some point.  His Word says it.

I choose now to bow.

I choose now to submit, because it is the Lord Jesus Christ that I am ultimately submitting to.

Here's what submission is.  It is a willful thing.  It is without resistance.  It is you choosing to yield.  One can not force you to submit because that is not the definition of the word.  If you are forced, then you are being bullied.  Point blank.

Look at your relationship with the Lord for a better understanding so you can apply this principle to your marriage.

Is God forcing you to follow Him?

Is God forcing you to love Him?

Is God forcing you to serve Him?

I am sure your answer is no to all of those questions.

Take that same heart attitude and apply it to your husband and the concept of submission.

Now has your view of submission changed in any way?  Perhaps your perspective has been tweeked just slightly?

Lots of women in the forum had a skewed view of submission as well.  Many had thoughts that the wife needed to be quiet and passive because I wrote that the wife was to submit to her husband.  That's a biblical principle by the way.  I didn't just make it up.  They took that as meaning the woman didn't have a mind of her own, couldn't think for herself, didn't have her own opinion, and God forbid, if she had a strong personality!  By the way, I am the epitome of all those attributes.  Just ask my husband.  Yet, I, being that type of woman, I choose to submit.  Go figure that one.

Then there was the big issue about the man being the head of the woman.  They weren't willing to let their husband lead because they were brighter.  They were insulted by such an idea.  They felt they were the more intelligent of the two and they would do a better job as the leader of the home, or they felt there didn't need to be a head in their marriage.

Here's what I have to say about all of that...

They are wrong and they are deceived and I feel sorry for them.  I truly do feel sorry for them because they are missing out on a wonderful marriage; the kind, God, the Creator of the Universe, intended.

God is no dummy.  He knew what He was doing when He said in His word,

But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.  1 Corinthians 11:3

In any relationship, organization, institution, etc., you need a final authority.  God established that final authority in your home to be your husband, even if he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.  Remember, it is the Lord who appointed him as the head of your home.  Now, before these words are taken out of context (smile) what I am trying to say here is this: as you and your husband discuss the issues that are before you, it is NOT WRONG to express your opinions, thoughts and ideas.   Quite the opposite in fact.  You should be sharing your heart (not a nasty attitude) because you and your husband are one.  That's what God desires in your marriage.

If you are struggling with some of the poor decisions that your husband has made or you don't think he can figure life out without you leading, trying praying first before you open your mouth to tell him he is not measuring up to your standards.  Again, it's all about your heart attitude here.

As a reminder to my critics, this is a blog post, not a marriage book.  I can't expound on every little detail I write, although I am prepared for those who do tear it apart, for those of you who don't, I thank you in advance for your graciousness.

Let me close with this.

You are ultimately submitting to the Lord when you follow His Word for your marriage.

And NO, you are not an idiot if you submit to your husband, quite the contrary, in God's eyes you are very wise.

Remember, He is the BEST MARRIAGE COUNSELOR and He doesn't even have a degree nor does He charge you by the hour.  Don't buy into the world's garbage of how your marriage should be, after all, it is God who created the institution of marriage in the first place.

Live a poured out life for the Master,

I am linked up with:

No Ordinary Blog Hop, Susan Godfrey,

The Alabaster Jar Out Loud

This is really hard for me to tell you....

It feels like my heart is about to pound right out of my chest.

Just the thought of embarking on this journey makes my face flush and hot.  I am sure if you could see me, my face would be bright red!

Here's the big news.  I knew you could hardly wait to hear it.

The Alabaster Jar ministry might be extending to on-line radio!  Gulp.

Personally, I was a little freaked out when my Beloved shared his thoughts about using this resource to extend the ministry of The Alabaster Jar.

Me...radio?

Then I thought about it for a little bit.   And prayed about it.

Speaking doesn't take me nearly as long to communicate my thoughts like writing does.  Between serving my family, keeping my home and homeschooling my children, there is not much time left in my day to write.  (Hence one of the reasons why I don't post a new article that often.)

We discussed the ideas of posting videos...but I shied away from that thought a long time ago.  Maybe I thought it was too much effort, or just something that God did not place on my heart at the time.

But doing on-line radio would solve some problems that I thought doing a video presented, like ...

• There would be nothing to stage.


• No one needed to video me speaking.


• No cleaning up the house before videotaping.


• And the most priceless reason:  No hair and makeup would need to be done!

My Beloved found a free, blogtalk radio program.  Did I mention that it was free?  That works for us right now.  It fits within our budget. :)

Although, the radio program is not LIVE, at least not yet.

The free program allows me to give multiple recorded messages in varying time increments and I can offer new shows several times a month.

The paid programming allows callers to call in and ask questions.  I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT CONCEPT!!!!!  But, I am not there yet.  I think I need to just get my feet wet with this new idea and begin taping.  Obviously I need to learn a little bit about the technical aspects that are needed in order to tape a show, plus I am waiting for the Lord to lead me seeing how I don't want to go ANYWHERE where He is not!

Me=Broadcasting?  It's parallel to oil and water.

But, if that's where He's sending me, then I'll go.  I'll give it a try.  I'll listen to my Beloved as well.  He always likes it when I do that! (wink)

In case you were wondering, my writings will still continue, but the radio programming may allow me to go deeper into a concept or allow me to give more guidance and encouragement to women, plus it can touch lives that this writing ministry doesn't reach.

So, any thoughts on this project?  Is this something you would be interested in hearing?  Trust me, you won't hurt my feelings if you say no!  It might be my way out. (lol)

11 Things the Lord Taught Me in 2011

Reflecting back on 2011, here are a few things that the Lord has taught me.

These are in no particular order.

1.  Walking the Narrow Path can sometimes leave me feeling like I am climbing a gruesome, uphill slope that makes me feel like a pack mule; sweaty, smelly and exhausted.  At times in my travel this year, I found the trail to be covered with snow, large jagged boulders, snakes, deteriorating bridges or sheer cliffs on either side.  Sticks, stones and dirt were thrown or kicked in my face as I drudged along in my journey of steep terrain, which ultimately left me crawling this past year.  But, when faced with a choice, I would've never chosen the wide path, which is the easier path.  Because Christ has called me by name; to be His daughter and walk the narrow path with Him, and it is during this arduous climb that all I had was Christ to hold on to.  He is always all I'll need, and when I realize that, it is during those moments that I have my mountain top experience with my Savior.

Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it.  Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.  Matthew 7:13,14

2.  Although serving in an outside ministry is a wonderful gift and sacrifice to the Lord, if it becomes too demanding of me, and the result is my priorities become out of whack, then I need to step away from it.  This was (and has been) hard to do, but it is what the Lord desires of me.

To obey is better than sacrifice.  1 Samuel 15:22

A list of First things, First to keep my priorities in order:

• Spending time with the Lord by reading His Word so I can know Him more.   He wants me to meditate on what the Bible has to say so I can learn to apply it to my life.  He wants me to pray and actually have a conversation with Him, but I need to be still long enough to hear His voice.  All of this takes time, but it is THE MOST important aspect of my life.


• He wants me ministering to my husband.  As I serve him and give him honor and respect.


• He wants me training and discipling my children for His glory.


• He wants my home kept and running so my family's needs are met.


• And then He wants me involved in outside ministry.  (Sometimes my list could be backwards with my outside ministry being on the top of this list and the time I spend with the Lord on the bottom.)  :(

3.  I will be persecuted by family, friends and strangers.... time and time again and I need to get used to it!  Even more so now that I am writing a blog for Him.

Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword.  Matthew 10:34

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.  Hebrews 4:12

4.  I will be accepted by family, friends and strangers....time and time again, and I need to get used to it!  Even more so now that I am writing a blog for Him. (smile) Thanks for all of your kind words and loving support as I bare my heart for the Lord in order to encourage others.  It's very hard for me to come out of my so-called, reserved shell because it is there in that place where I am emotionally protected.  Thanks for your graciousness!

5.  My stability comes from the Lord, not my circumstances.

As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the LORD  is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.  2 Samuel 22:31

6.  When the storms come raging through my life, everything is going to be okay and I can rest in Him.  (No matter how many times we've had to move or when we lived with another family.)

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Matthew 11:28

7.  He always has a perfect plan for my life even when I can't see it.

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.  Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)

8.  God has allowed the chaos in our lives and He wants me to trust Him even when I forget this over and over again.

The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer.  2 Samuel 22:2

9.  My marriage can either get better or worse in adversity.  I choose better because the material things, financial strains, outside relationships and ministries do not matter to the most important human relationship I will ever have here on earth.

10.  My children will grow in the Lord in spite of what we go through in life.  It is my faith, my countenance and my prayers that will draw my children to Christ.  The Holy Spirit will work in their lives regardless of the hardships that we have endured.

11.  As self-sufficient that I would like to be in ALL aspects of my life, the Lord wants me to be God-sufficient.  This is so difficult to learn.  The letting go.  The controlling of my life.  My dreams.  My plans.  My schedule.  My health.  My bank account.  My marriage.  My child-raising.  My homeschooling.  My extended family and friend relationships.  My writing ministry....

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct  your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and depart from evil.  Proverbs 3:5-7

Bottom line:  My life is His to do what He pleases.  The good and the bad (as I see it.)

His plans and His purpose were perfect for me in 2011, and so they will be in 2012 as well.

What about you?  What did our Lord teach you in 2011?

Happy New Year sweet friend!  May you seek Him and see Him in the coming days of your life.

He Has Left His Throne

Our King is coming!

Are you ready?

Awake?

Prepared for His presence?

Or are you distracted with your to-do lists?  Traditions?  Expectations?

For some strange reason, I rather doubt that Martha Stewart is showing up at your house with coordinating ribbons and bows and a high level of perfectionism; unless of course, you care to mimic her actions and invite her in.

Save yourself the bother and bless your family instead with a sweet countenance that radiates the love of Christ.  So, if you still have gifts to wrap, feel free to throw them in a brown paper bag, stick a bow on it and call it a day.  I am sure they won't mind.  Trust me.  I have been there, both from a child's perspective and as an adult who has a (recovering), type-A personality!

Whatever it is that you are fretting about or focusing on...I encourage you to dwell on Christ.

Watch this moving video below, and it will put things into perspective.  In fact, I watched it last year at this time and it pierced my heart, plus it helped me to stop whining about my situation.  I also watched it again at Easter, and my heart was grieved for how we respond all too often towards our Savior.  Sometimes we are asleep and distracted with our own kingdom.

So today I am determined to keep my eyes focused on Him.

Seeking Him.

Clinging to Him.

Living for Him as I respect and submit to my husband and as I minister to my little lambs.

I challenge you to do the same as well.  Your soul will thank you.  (And you can thank me later for the encouragement!) :)

While You Were Sleeping

Merry Christmas sister!

More is Not Necessarily Better

Christmastime has not always been an easy time for me.  5 years ago, my father died on Christmas Eve and the following year the economy took a downward spiral.  As a result of this decline, our Christmas traditions, preparations and presents became less and less with each passing year.

Traditions.

Memories.

So much of what I was used to was being stripped away from me.

The financial downturn even made an impact on my Christmas tree!

How is that possible, you might ask?

Here’s my story.

Many, many years ago we bought a 9ft. tall Christmas tree for our first home.  At the time, our house was a 2 story and the living room had a vaulted ceiling that reached all the way up to the second story.  7 years later we moved to a single story home and in that house the ceilings reached 14ft.  Seeing how I just loved my Christmas tree, I was excited about the height of the ceilings because I knew our 9 ft. tree would fit in our new home.

My Christmas tree was one of my favorite decorations with its coordinating tree skirt, ribbons, angel topper and ornaments.  It was gorgeous and I used to love to look at it.

One of my preferred things to do was to sit in my chair and turn down the house lights and sit just staring at my lit tree. I would take in the silence and beauty while looking at all the different ornaments.  Some were pictures of my children when they were babes, or crafts they had made for me, others were given to me by friends, some I purchased while on vacation to remind me of our time, and the latest ones were the ones that focused on Christ to help remind us of what Christmas was really about.

Those were fond memories I had of just staring at my tree either in the peace and quiet or with Christmas music playing in the background.  It was a relaxing time.  A soul searching time.  A time to ponder all that God had done and was doing in my life.  A time to enjoy the memories that we were making as a family.

For some strange reason, the tree was important to me and I just loved it!

My 9ft. tree. Picture taken in 2006.

Then we lost our home and moved to a rental home.

When the Christmas season rolled around, we sold my tree because the ceilings were not high enough for the tree to fit AND we needed the money for food.

I was sad to see it go but I reminded myself that it was a material possession, one that the Lord blessed me with.

The LORD gave me what I had, and the LORD has taken it away. Praise the name of the LORD!  Job 1:21

A year later….

We are not in the same rental home, but a different one.  A small home where there is no room for an average size tree, but rather a very tiny one. One that it not even 2 ft. tall (this tree was once used in my son's bedroom during the season.)

My 18 inch tree.  Christmas 2011.

For many years my children were blessed beyond measure with some of their favorite things at Christmas.  Yet, that is not a part of God’s plan these past few years.  Sometimes we think we are missing out if we don’t have a lot of money to spend on our children or bless our friends and family with gifts.

And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.  1 Timothy 6:8

I love Paul’s words…they soothe my soul.

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.  Philippians 4:11,12

When I take my eyes off of my situation and put them on Christ, then I realize my children get to see God’s hand of faithfulness first hand.  Nothing under the tree is distracting them from seeing the miracles of their Savior.  This is a hard, spiritual exercise even for us adults!

But it is within these formative years that their faith is growing and getting stronger.  He is preparing them for something greater than what I could ever imagine.

They will remember these years when the only presents they received came from others.  They will remember Christ came and blessed them at Christmas.

They will remember that their Daddy and Mommy loved each other in spite of their hardships.  They will remember us holding fast to the scriptures in spite of our difficult reality.

Perhaps you find yourself in a similar situation?  If so, here are some things for you to ponder:

If you had more money this Christmas…..

You’d have more gifts to buy.

More stores to shop at.

More crowds to deal with.

More lines to stand in.

More presents to wrap.

More cookies to bake.

More crafts to decorate.

More things to clean up.

More things to take back.

More things that will eventually get lost, broken or forgotten a few months from now.

More.

More.

More.

No…more is not necessarily better.

There is a blessing in simplicity.  Pure.  Organic.  CHRISTmas.

Cling to Him.

May you seek to have more of Jesus this Christmas.

Live a poured out life for the Master,

I am linked up with:

 

From My Heart to Yours

Although the year of 2011 proved to be very difficult and draining for me, you know, with 3 painful moves and all that comes with it!  Good grief, I'm surprised I still have enough strength from all the packing and moving to even type this post!

However, in spite of all my heartache, fears and disappointments this year....

• I still love my Lord


• my husband


• my children


• and of course my family and friends!

I guess nothing else really matters. :)

But because of all our moves, I don't have too many pictures of my family to share with you this Christmas, but what I do have, I hope you'll enjoy them and get a little glimpse into my heart and world.

Just press play to view the slideshow and ignore the ads.   What can I say, it was free.

May we be as the wise men of long ago and seek the Savior not just during this Christmas season, but in the days, weeks, and months ahead. Blessings to you and your family.

Let Us Bring Him Silver and Gold

I'm not getting my husband a present for Christmas this year and he's not getting me one either.  In fact, my children won't receive any gifts from us as well.  It's not because we have an issue with gift giving, but rather, it's because we don't have any money to buy them.  (The only reason why I am able to write this blog post is because my husband needs the use of the internet for his business!)

Any money that the Lord has given to us has been for the basic necessities of our lives.

It was the same situation last Christmas. :(

Sometimes my heart gets heavy knowing I can't bless my family with things they'd enjoy, but I know it weighs even heavier on my Beloved's heart being that he is a man, the head of our home, and the provider for our family.

So, instead of dwelling on what I won't get or what I can't give in the material sense, I thought about what is it that I can give, in the spiritual sense; knowing that whatever I do give, is like bringing Christ silver and gold.

Let us bring Him silver and gold.

Whether you have a boatload of money in your bank account and you are able to bless others or your pockets are bare, it's what's in your heart that matters to the King of Kings.

So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver.  2 Corinthians 9:7

Perhaps this Christmas you make the decision to give Jesus silver in the form of a loving countenance towards your family rather than a stressed out attitude like Martha.  (Your husband and children will appreciate that.)

Or your silver can be a form of contentment...

• Regardless of what is or isn't under the tree.


• Regardless of who's not treating you in a loving way.


• Regardless of the health challenges you face.


• Regardless of the obstacles that you are dealing with.

Maybe you can give a box of gold to Christ in the form of graciousness that needs to be extended to someone....perhaps that someone is your husband?

Is it quite possible that your husband needs to be appreciated, affirmed and respected more, in spite of your circumstances?  Wouldn't that make a great gift?  I am sure it would bless his heart.

Be creative.  Come up with some of your own ideas of how you can bring the Babe in the manger some silver and gold.  I am sure if you ask the Holy Spirit for some guidance in this area, He will be more than willing to help you!

A  peak inside my heart......♥

My silver and gold for Christ is being content with our situation and letting my husband know just that!  It isn't always easy for me to dwell in Christ because my flesh gets in the way, but I think for one day I can do my best to bring Him silver and gold this Christmas.

Live a poured out life for the Master,

I am linked up with: