An Outcast at Christmas

The Christmas festivities and parties will be in full swing soon.   A time to spend with family and friends.

But not all will receive us.

We will feel rejected by those that are either the closest to us or perhaps those that hardly know us.  Either way, rejection hurts.

We will be like an outcast.

"And you will be hated by all for My name's sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved.  Matthew 10:22

Even when your Christmas is less than ideal, remember that The Outcast, Jesus Christ, came into this world in less than perfect conditions, at least according to our minds.

He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.  Isaiah 53:3

But we have Comfort.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.   Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake.  Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.  Matthew 5:10-12

Rejoice and be exceedingly glad...  Let those words sink in and penetrate your heart.  This is not a mere suggestion from our Savior, but rather a command.

Here's a look at the same verse but in the New Living Translation,

Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.  Matthew 5:12

I'd be lying to you if I said it was easy to be happy and glad when I am persecuted!   Yet, I am trying to focus on what the Lord wants me to do even when I feel like an outcast by others.

No, not everyone will love you and accept.

But the One who matters most, always will.

"For the LORD will not forsake His people, for His great name's sake, because it has pleased the LORD to make you His people.  1 Samuel 12:22

Remember that Emmanuel has come.  To walk among us.  To dwell with us.

Receive Him.

Take His hand.

Let Him love you even when others don't.

You are a pure delight to Him.

So, learn to identify with the ancient prophets, but more importantly...

the One True Outcast, Jesus, this Christmas.

Finding Him and breathing Him in will make your Christmas ideal.

Tomorrow They're Eating Leftovers

I feel like Betty Crocker today, or maybe Paula Dean because I used a lot of butter!

I had every intention of writing about the 3 Types of Husbands tonight but I am too, dog-gone exhausted.  In fact, I feel like my dog who is sprawled out lying in her bed (in the house, I might add, because it's raining outside).  My brain is now on auto-pilot so my 'husband post' will need to wait for awhile seeing how I would have to use too many brain cells to write such a serious post.  So, instead, I figured I'd write one that is a little out of my character tonight.  One filled with recipes and resources.  I hope you enjoy it.

So, here's my marathon of a day, at least my type of marathon.  I got in my jammies at 5pm because I was so exhausted.

This morning I made a quick and easy dished called...

Baby Dutch Pancakes topped with blackberries (which were on sale).  They were delicious by the way and it is nothing like a pancake.   Seeing how I am not dutch, I do not know why they call it that, but I don't care what it's name is as long as delicious is attached to it.  It's a simple dish, wonderful on a cold morning.  And, it's filled with lots of protein (eggs) that will ward off hunger for awhile.  It's also a great brunch- type dish too.

Here's the recipe:  (Sorry I don't have a tantalizing picture for you to look at.)  Just imagine that it is a cross between a custard, a quiche without the crust, and maybe a bread pudding.  And it's puffy.

Use a shallow pan,  (not more than 3 inches). I use a rectangle, glass pan that is roughly a 9 x 4.

Ingredients:

• 1/3 cup of butter


• 4 eggs


• 1 cup milk


• 1 cup all-purpose flour (or you can use gluten free flours as well but it won't rise as high)


• 1 1/2 tsp. sugar

Place butter in pan and set in a 425 degree oven.  While butter melts, mix batter quickly.  Put eggs in a blender or food processor and whirl at high speed for 1 minute.  With motor running, gradually pour in milk, then slowly add flour, then sugar; continue whirling for 30 seconds.  Remove pan from oven, pour in batter and bake until puffy and well browned (20 to 25 minutes).  Note:  It should be puffy like a popover.  Dust pancake with ground nutmeg, if desired, and serve at once with a delicious topping like....

• whipped cream (the homemade kind is the ABSOLUTE best!)


• maple syrup


• fresh fruit

After breakfast off to the grocery store and then to Target I went.

She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar.  Proverbs 31:14

Seeing how I make my own laundry detergent now, and not because I enjoy shopping for unusual soaps and grating soap bars, but because I can save wwaaayyy more money by making my own detergent, that is the reason why I make it.  It also allows us to eat more food, like blackberries.  Seriously.

Laundry Detergent Recipe  (I can't remember where I got it from otherwise I would tell you.)

• 12 cups borax.  I had found borax at Fresh N Easy, Walmart and Target


• 8 cups of Baking Soda.  Found at Fresh N Easy, Walmart and Target


• 8 cups of Washing Soda.  NOT found at Fresh N Easy or Target (The last time I bought it I found it at Walmart, so I will be there tomorrow.) lol


• 8 cups of grated Kirk’s Castile Bar soap (4 bars).  You can find this at any grocery store, just NOT at Fresh N Easy, but you can use Ivory.  I threw mine in my food processor to grate.


• 20-40 drops of Lavendar oil. Found at Walmart.  This is optional and it's used to  just make your clothes smell nice.

Mix it all together.

Use 1/8 of a cup per load.

It makes A LOT!  I mixed it in a 5 gallon bucket and it was about half full and it lasted forever.  Well, really it was about 9 months for a family of four.  The ingredients roughly cost me $16.00.

Here's more laundry detergent recipes.  Some mixes are liquid, some are dry and some for HE washers.  I was too lazy to make the liquid kind, plus I didn't have a bottle to put it in, so I made the dry.  It works for me.

When I got home from my big shopping spree (ha ha) I made a new salsa recipe for my Beloved.  I found the original recipe from The Pioneer Woman but I altered hers just a tad ...

The original recipe is way too spicy for this gal.  Now, my Beloved loves things to be spicy and hot, he even puts wasabi on his food!

For a more milder, yet still very spicy salsa, here's my altered recipe:

Restaurant Style Salsa

1 can whole, stewed tomatoes (15 oz.)

2 cans MILD Rotel diced tomatoes with green chiles

1/2 small onion, chopped

1 clove of garlic

Half a head of cilantro

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 tsp sugar

1/4 tsp cumin

Throw the stewed tomatoes along with the onions, garlic and cilantro in a food processor and chop to desired texture.  Then add in your cans of Rotel diced tomatoes, sugar, salt and cumin.  Pulse until desired consistency is reached. Done.

What I omitted from The Pioneer Woman's original recipe is a jalapeno and I switched out a can of original Rotel diced tomatoes for a mild one just so I could tone down the heat.

The result.

It was fantastic!  I am even considering giving it as a gift to some friends and family for Christmas because it was that good.  And inexpensive.

Let's talk about the heat.  The salsa was plenty hot for my Beloved, and my boys and I were able to enjoy it as well.  I can't even imagine how hot it would've been if we put in the jalapeno and the hotter tomatoes.

But, I encourage you to head over to The Pioneer Woman's site nonetheless.  She's got lots of recipes (with pictures too, which I appreciate seeing how I am cooking challenged.)  Her site is quickly becoming a favorite of mine.

Somewhere afterwards I made some lunch for my men then I worked out in my small 24 hour fitness gym, also known as my living room that has carpet and a computer in which I popped in Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred Workout.

What can I say about this DVD?

"She kills me", that's what I can say.  In fact, every time I think about the workout, that is the first thought that comes to my mind.  But, I would have to say that after 30 days, I have lost inches.  Now, I don't know how many because I didn't measure myself beforehand, but my jeans are looser and that is what matters to me.

So, why do I do Jillian's program?  Because I am glutton for punishment?

No, because it is a short workout program that I can modify for my feeble body.

Here's the story.  I have been a runner for over 15 years, and during those years I battled with my chronic-ill health coupled with knee issues that left me as an inconsistent runner.  The knee issues couldn't be resolved unless I took the path of surgery, and even then there were no guarantees.

I was in denial, along with physical therapy, for quite some time but I wasn't ready to give up something I enjoyed so much.  Then a few years ago I had hip issues that were resolved for awhile but then resurfaced.  I think I over compensated for my worsening right knee which caused my left hip to be twisted out of alignment.  And yes, I have been to a chiropractor.  Many times.

I can't fix my body no matter how hard I try.  No new pair of shoes or knee brace will alleviate the pain long term.  They are just a quick fix, but not a solution.

Last month I was in severe pain every time I went running.  You should have seen me run.  I looked like Quasimodo, the hunchback from Notre Dame.  It was time for me to embrace my reality....my body couldn't do what I wanted it to do.

I stopped running.

That's why I do the 30 day shred.  It's only 20 minutes.  You can modify all the moves. You can go at your own pace. There are 3 levels and each level I have done has left me dripping in sweat.     And it only cost me about $6, used.

Although it will never be like running.   My clothes are looser and I am consistent.  That's a win in my book.

When the workout was finished I moved on to making (and eating) some Christmas cookies...

Mexican Wedding Cookies (or snowballs I think they are called at times)

Here's the recipe from Paula Dean

I kept them in the shape of a ball rather than a crescent shape the recipe called for.  Maybe I was too sore from my workout to form the heavy dough into little moons.

Once I cleaned up that big, slop mess, oh I mean, kept my home like the good, God-fearing homemaker that I strive to be, I made dinner.

Enchiladas with Green Sauce

I am a lazy cook so here is my lazy recipe.

Ingredients:

• 1 can of green enchilada sauce.  I use Fresh N Easy's brand because they don't use preservatives and artificial colors.  That stuff will kill me so I try to avoid it at all costs.


• Lots of shredded cheese


• Corn tortillas


• Onions and cilantro (optional)


• Olives (optional)

Here's the quick and easy way.  Heat the sauce up in the microwave for 2 minutes.  Pour a little bit of sauce to coat the bottom of a 9 x 13 baking dish.  Heat up the tortillas in the microwave as well.  Dip tortillas in the sauce and fully coat them.  Put cheese in the center of the tortilla.  Use can use cooked meat in there as well but I had cheese on hand.  My Beloved loves onions and cilantro so I added that to his.  Before you role the tortilla add more sauce to the inside.  Repeat until the pan is full.  Coat enchiladas with remaining sauce.  Top with cheese.  I usually top it with olives but I didn't have any.

My pan had 14 enchiladas in it but they were stuffed in there like sardines.  Cover with foil and cook at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.  Last 5 minutes of baking, remove foil.

I made some spanish rice to go with it and dinner was delicious!  I sat in my recliner as I ate it because I was too tired to sit at the table.   Plus, I could barely move my arm because I have a rib out of place.  Oh it is so good to know that I will have a new body in heaven and I won't be the cook!

She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. Proverbs 31:15

I hope all these recipes will be a help to you as you provide food for your family!

Live a poured out life for the Master,

I am linked up with:

3 Types of Wives

I just love the topic of marriage!  I would have to say I am most passionate about discussing this topic with women than any other subject matter.   With that being said, I am going to take you on a journey.  A journey where we come to the Bridegroom reaching for His hand, dancing with Him and enjoying His presence as He sweeps us off our feet.  So put on your wedding dress (and pretend it still fits) because we are going to learn how to apply biblical principles to our own marriage so we can walk not only with our Bridegroom but our beloved groom as well.

But, before we go deep into this topic I thought I would let you know a few things.  According to the world's standards, I am not qualified to teach and guide you in your marriage because I am not a marriage counselor.  In fact, there is no degree even attached to my name.  All the information and guidance I have is what I have found in the scriptures and what the Lord has placed in my heart.  (I believe that is plenty!)  Now, I can have a fancy-schmancy title like,  'Biblical Marriage coach'.  (lol)  But funny thing about that title is I can't find it in the Bible, yet, what I do find there is one who is called an older woman.

So, please don't call me a writer, speaker, blogger or a marriage coach for that matter, but rather call me your sister in Christ; one who is willing to walk with you, to encourage you, to equip you and lead you to our precious Bridegroom, the One who is an expert on marriage.  Please know that ANY insight or wisdom that you receive here is not from me but rather it is DIRECTLY from the Lord Himself.

The Bridegroom, He's waiting for you.  Come, He says.

When you feel alone and abandoned...come as you are.

When you feel more like the maid, the cook, and the mother, rather than the wife...come as you are.

When the emotional or physical affair has taken place in your marriage...come as you are.

When the raging storms and hardships of life have ravaged your marriage...come as you are.

When your husband rules over you rather than servant-leads you...come as you are.

When your groom doesn't lead you but leaves it all up to you...come as you are.

With a broken heart... come as you are.

Marriage can be hard work.  Sometimes it's a struggle learning  how to be the godly wife the Lord desires us to be and once we have read those scriptures then we need to figure out how to apply them in our marriage with another human being!  It can all be so overwhelming and difficult especially when it doesn't come naturally for us, we didn't have the best examples of it and the world screams at us saying it should look totally different than what's in the Word of God.  But we have Hope.  We have the Bridegroom.

If you want to better your marriage, join me in this post.

If you have a difficult marriage, join me in this post! (smile)  Don't lose heart even if your marriage is filled with a crack as wide as the Grand Canyon, God has sent us the Holy Spirit to help us, guide us and comfort us.  If you are willing to grow in your marriage, than that in itself is already a huge step in the right direction.

In this post I am going to briefly discuss and introduce the 3 Types of Wives listed below and I have asked my Beloved for his insight as well.  Seeing how you are married to a man, I thought it would be helpful to get another man's perspective on this topic.  (In a future post I will discuss the 3 Types of Husbands that come alongside these type of wives.)  Plus, with each marital post I write, you'll find a section at the end called, "A peek inside my heart".  Hopefully what I share there will encourage you in your marriage.

3 Types of Wives

• The Contentious Wife


• The Doormat/Footstool Wife


• The Helper Wife

First, let's dig into the scriptures to find out what God has to say about wives and marriage.  Oh, the feminist out there are just gonna love this! 

If you are married, here is one of your main purposes in life:

For man is not from woman, but woman from man.  Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.  1 Corinthians 11:8,9

Woman is the glory of man.  1 Corinthians 11:7

The Bible says we are created for our husband!  Imagine society being okay with that concept!

Now hold on.  Don't start screaming at the computer because of what you just read.  Even if you are married to an idiot, er, I mean,  Mr. Wrong, please keep reading or better yet, become a subscriber because we will cover many marital issues in future posts.


Take a deep breath and stay with me as we learn what God's Word says about the order of our relationship:

But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.  1 Corinthians 11:3

The husband, whether you view him as Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong, whether he's a Christian or not, he is your headship.  You can debate about that all you want, but you'll have to take it up with the Lord.

Let those concepts sink into your mind and heart just for a sec.  If you begin to embrace this truth, you are now at a point where your heart is softening, which is the beginning stages of producing good fruit in your marriage.  Your God-fearing, marital foundation is now being laid.

Let's get into the 3 types of wives.  (I will further develop these concepts in future posts and please know that I am going to speak in generalities here seeing how this is a blog post and not a marriage book.)

The Contentious Wife

Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.  Genesis 3:16

The word desire can also mean an attempt to control or usurp.  You will have a natural tendency to dominate and control your husband and he will have the tendency to be a tyrant as he tries to rule over you.

A contentious wife is one who can feel or do any of the following: 

• She feels that she is smarter than her husband and he either cannot lead as well as she can, or he doesn't take the lead so someone has to.


• She does not trust him or his decisions.


• She is emasculating and bitter, and it’s not hidden from him.


• She doesn't listen to him.


• She will make (or want to make) the decisions in the marriage.


• She fights and argues with him.


• She will compete with him or want to assert herself because she is trying to overcompensate for her insecurities.  The world applauds this woman.  She is prominent in business and industry.  She is offended by the idea of totaling submitting to any man.


• She has a difficult time giving him honor and respect.

A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.  Proverbs 27:15

Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.  Proverbs 21:9

Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.  Proverbs 21:19

Better is a dry morsel with quietness, than a house full of feasting with strife.  Proverbs 17:1

It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.  Proverbs 25:24

Footstool/Doormat Wife

Unfortunately some husbands are rulers, ruling over their wives as they put their feet up on a footstool or upon a doormat.  Because of this type of treatment from the husband, the wife becomes passive, not saying a word for fear of his rejection, disapproval, temper or the unrealistic demands that are placed on her.

• Her main focus is that her husband's needs are met because she serves him out of fear rather than love and obedience to the Lord.


• She also instructs the children that they need to fulfill the standards of their father as well so she can protect them from his scorn.


• She seldom shares her heart with her husband because she is afraid of how he will respond.


• This wife will have the tendency to walk on eggshells when she is in her husband’s presence.


• She will keep her mouth shut while bitterness grows in her heart.

The husband may be demanding and critical of her making her feel like she is not the helper wife that she is called to be, but rather a helpless wife because she can’t measure up to all his expectations.  He may also have the tendency to treat his wife harshly (not in an abusive way) but in a way where the wife does not feel heard nor loved and appreciated by her husband.  The wife, trying to be a good and submissive wife, doesn't like to approach her husband with her feelings because if she does, she may feel like she is being disrespectful to him (which he may say she is) but in reality she isn't as long as she doesn't do it in a complaining, criticizing, condemning and nagging way.  She is just sharing her heart in a loving way but he still sees it as a sign of disrespect when in reality it isn't.

Husbands of these wives will have the tendency to want to rule over them as stated in Genesis 3:16

And he shall rule over you.  Genesis 3:16

The Bible is clear that a husband should NOT treat a wife like this, but unfortunately some do.

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.  1 Peter 3:7

Here's another version that I want you to take a look at:

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.  1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)

The Helper Wife

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a helper comparable to him.”  Genesis 2:18

God created Eve for Adam because Adam was lonely, not because Adam needed an extra pair of hands to help clean up the garden!  He made Eve as a partner, one who was comparable to Adam.  The woman was comparable to man; she was truly fitting and fully adequate- just right.  Now, don’t think for one minute that God, himself, designed the role of a ‘helper’ to be a demeaning role, because that is NOT the case.  Far from it to be exact!  The term ‘helper’ means “one who helps”.  If you take a look into the scriptures, do you know of anyone else that was referred to as a helper?  If you mentioned the Holy Spirit, you hit the nail on the head!

"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.  John 14:26

Of course we all know the Holy Spirit is in no way inferior or secondary to Jesus Christ or God the Father, rather, the Spirit just serves a different role, just like us as wives.

You want to strive to be the ‘Helper’ wife; the excellent wife, it’s in the middle between the Contentious and Doormat/Footstool wife.

In closing, we will ALWAYS fall short of becoming that excellent Helper Wife, however, we can surrender and allow the Bridegroom to tightly embrace us and lead us to the wife He desires us to be.

A peek inside my heart....♥

There have been times in my own marriage where the wife pendulum has swung from contentious to footstool, yet neither of them is what I desire to be.  So,  a phrase I have learned to practice over and over in my marriage..."I am sorry, will you forgive me?"

Don't miss the 3 Types of Husbands post!  You can read it here.

Live a poured out life for the Master,

I am linked up with:

Proverbs 31 Movement

I was blown away when I saw this video and since I am just finishing up my post titled, 3 Types of Wives, I thought this new movement would tie in rather nicely with what I am going to share with you in the next few days.

Watch this powerful, counter-culture video by this young man.

Proverbs

Alex Eklund, a student at Baylor University, posted a status on Facebook stating, "I'd rather have a Proverbs 31 woman than a Victoria's Secret Model".

Since then, other Baylor students and their friends have reposted, made graphics, and even a page has been made for it all because of the positive reaction it received from the people that saw it. Here are Alex's thoughts on the movement's beginning as well as some of his goals for the movement and what he believes the message means to so many people. Spread the word, live 31, and like us on Facebook!  http://www.facebook.com/pages/Id-rather-have-a-Proverbs31 woman-than-a-Victorias-Secret-model/315812771780052?sk=info



This young man gets it.  He knows what is truly important in a wife!

So, to all you wives out there, continue to strive to be the Proverbs 31 woman that God desires you to be.

All you single women reading this, continue to focus on the things of the Lord.

And to all you mamas, be steadfast in teaching your sons and daughters about what matters most in a spouse...their fear of the Lord.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.  Proverbs 31:30

Seeking the Messiah

When I was a young mother I was very ill for many, many years.  Just getting out of bed and tending to the basic needs of my husband and children was overwhelming and exhausting.  Merge the day to day life with all that needs to be done for Christmas...you know what I'm talking about:  shopping for gifts, wrapping presents, preparing food, baking holiday treats, spending time with family and friends,etc., all great things but in doing them, it sent my body into shut down.

Year in and year out, as Christmas drew closer, my immune system would get lower and lower and eventually I would find myself sicker than a dog waiting anxiously to go back to bed the day I crossed the finish line; Christmas morning.  My gentle and quiet spirit was no where to be found.

Not only did I feel like a failure as a wife and mother throughout the year but even more so during the Christmas season, which ultimately resulted in me loathing the Christmas holiday.  Yet, as a Believer, I knew there was something wrong with my perspective!

Something needed to change.  Seeing how I couldn't fix my body, I had no other choice but to live with my limitations which forced me to become very intentional about what we embraced as a family.

So I made the decision to be like Mary as she sat at Jesus' feet, rather than being distracted like Martha.

You can read the rest of my post over at Stringer Mama's Birthday Gifts for Jesus series.  Just click the button below.

This is Not Your Typical Love Story

Fourteen years ago I walked into a local gymnasium to play volleyball through my church.  As I stood across the court, I couldn't help but notice a man who looked very familiar to me.  While straining my eyes, I thought for sure that who I saw was my former high school volleyball coach.  I stepped closer for a better look.  Yep, that was him.

Hmph, I thought to myself, what  is he doing here?

Why is he here playing volleyball through my church?

Does he attend there as well?

Well, isn't he gonna be surprised to find out that I am now saved!  (When I was on his team, he was always preaching to his players about having a relationship with Jesus Christ.)

I walked over and said hello and then asked him what he was doing here.

What am I doing here?  What are you doing here? Was his response.  (After all, it was church volleyball and the last time he saw me, I was the furthest thing from being saved!)

I briefly shared my testimony, then I asked about him.

He told me his wife divorced him.

I patted him on the back like a buddy and said, "Don't worry Eric, God's got the perfect woman for you!"  Little did I know that one week later God would reveal to me that I would be that woman!

If you are new here you can read my earlier post on, The Story of My Arranged Marriage.

I met the list.  He was real.  Not only was he everything I prayed for on the list, but he was 10 times more than what I had ever imagined!  But there was one problem.  I couldn't believe it!

Him of all people.  Really Lord?  Are you kidding?  This is a joke right?  This man can't possibly be my future husband?  Those were the thoughts that ran through my mind when I saw him again.

The first time I met him, I was 14 and he was 21.  I was a Freshman in high school and he was my coach.  He was the man that I butted heads with.  The man I sassed, talked back to and argued with.  The man that made me run extra laps because of my belligerent attitude.  The man I didn't like.  He was the last person on earth that I would have ever married!

Yet, many years had passed, 10 to be exact, and I was no longer the same person.  My life (and heart) had been radically transformed by Jesus Christ.

Within one week of meeting him I knew he was the one that God had chosen for me despite of who he was.

But thoughts ran through my mind about my past.  I was like the woman at the well.  Would he still have me when he hears about my baggage and sins?  After all, he was a godly man, one who grew up knowing AND believing in Jesus Christ.  As a young man he lived his faith when he was my coach.  He made it clear to all his players who he lived for and who he believed in.

But he had a scarred past too.

When I was 17, he coached me again in my senior year.  He was engaged at the time and he brought his fiance' to meet his team.  My thoughts when he introduced her:  Who cares.  Get off the court princess.  You are wasting valuable court time!  (I had a severe personality before I came to Christ!)

She was a beauty queen.  One who said she'd love him forever.  One who said she was a Christian.  Within the first year of their marriage she said she wasn't going to submit to some man.

Although he was raised in a Christian family, all that he was taught was to marry a believer.  He saw the many 'red flags' during their engagement period but not having enough training, guidance or wisdom, he didn't realize how those 'red flags' would manifest in their marriage, so he overlooked them.

Even though she proclaimed to be a Christian, her actions said otherwise.  He was deceived.  They were married for 9 years and every year she said she wanted a divorce.

'God hates divorce' was always his response to her, yet she sought it anyways and filed on his birthday.  What a loving thing to do! (sarcasm noted)

He was a solid Christian man, one who was committed to his Lord regardless of the pain he went through.  His name was now smeared and tarnished.

He wasn't going to be deceived again.  So he made a list of godly attributes for his future wife and he prayed over it daily.  (When he shared that with me I nearly fell off the bench I was sitting on!)

Had he divorced her, I wouldn't have married him because he would've been outside of the Word of God.  I wasn't interested in being yoked to a man that wasn't obedient to the Word of God.  I wouldn't give him my hand in marriage.  Yet, that was not his situation.  He was honorable so I had no issue with his divorce.

But if the husband or wife who isn't a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace. 1 Corinthians 7:15 NLT

He knew within a week that I was 'his list'.  He saw the radical transformation that Jesus Christ had made in my life and there was no doubt in his mind that I was truly a follower of Christ.

I knew he was the one as well.  I knew it mentally and spiritually because he was what I prayed for.  Without a doubt, he was the list in life form!  All of the essentials, the primary godly character traits were in check.

But this is where the story takes an unusual turn from the typical love story.  I did not fall head over heels in love with him (just yet!) It was as if God put a protective barrier around my heart so I would not walk into this relationship with my emotions.

Rather, God's spirit was at the center of our relationship.

He was walking with us.

He was hovering above us.

He was standing in the middle of us.

He held our hands as we held each others.

It was a beautiful and supernatural experience.

But my emotions kept questioning.

It was an unusual experience with my mind and spirit knowing he was the one, but my heart being still.

The enemy was at work as well as he continually planted seeds of doubt.  So, I picked the man apart and assessed ALL things about him.  There were personality quirks (like the type of music he listened to) that I wasn't quite sure about.   Stupid, dumb, petty stuff that didn't matter a hill of beans to a God-fearing relationship.  But the enemy was looking to destroy what God was doing in our lives.   Would I be deceived by him?

I went back to my list; my foundation.

• He was a godly man. (check)


• He wanted to lead me. (check)


• He had integrity and honor. (check)


• He attended my church. (check)


• He was a solid believer who could teach and lead me spiritually. (check)


• He was sooo much like me.  We shared the same convictions, morals and values. (check)

He was the exact piece of the puzzle that I was praying  for.  All of the sides lined up.  It was a perfect fit.

I soon realized that some of the things that I was hung up on were none essentials.  They did not define his character.  The Godly foundation was what mattered.  He had all of that and more.

So, I surrendered to the Lord.

We courted for 3 months, then on December 21, 1997, he asked me to marry him.  Actually, he wrote it in the sand on a beach in Southern California.  (I still have the stick he used and some of the sand that he wrote it in!)

I said yes.  Then the flood gates of love poured out from my heart and I fell madly in love with him.  The protective barrier that the Lord placed around my heart was opened and I gotta tell ya sister, WOW, I have never experienced anything like that before!

Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.  Song of Solomon 2:7

Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.  Song of Solomon 3:5

Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.  Song of Solomon 8:4

3 months later on March 14th, 1998, I became his wife and he became my Beloved.  I couldn't wait to leave the reception so I could finally 'know' my husband.  I never ate cake so fast! (wink)

I found the one whom my soul loves.  Song of Solomon 3:4

Words can never fully describe the spiritual experience that took place during our courtship & engagement because it was just that- a spiritual experience.

Was it easy?  The surrendering?  The waiting?  No.  No. and No.

So, was it worth it?

Let me ask you this question.  When God is at the center of any good thing, is it worth it?  I know you are smiling now because you know the answer is a resounding yes.

As a mother today, I can only hope and pray that the guidance and instruction that we have given to our boys will be heeded so they too can have the presence of the Holy Spirit in the midst of their courtship with the one that God has chosen for them.

I encourage you as either a single woman or the parent of an unmarried child to implement a Marriage Safety Checklist making sure the list has the essential biblical standards for a successful godly marriage.  Consider it like a flight safety check list so the plane doesn't crash, only, it's for marriage!

Comb through the scriptures to find out what to look for in a God-fearing spouse.  (Go back to my prior post for some helpful tips.)

If you are married and you are doing this for your children, apply those verses to your life as well.  Become the type of woman that the Bible is referring to and your marriage will become better.

To those that are already married and you don't have the best marriage remember this,

The LORD directs the steps of the godly.  He delights in every detail of their lives.  Psalm 37:23

My Beloved and I talked about how our paths crossed early on in life, yet we did not marry one another during those years.  We couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if we had waited or if all that we had gone through was a part of God's plan.

I don't know those answers.  But I have two words that you will understand.

Free will.  God allows His children to do many things.

Even though my Beloved went through 9 years of heartache and pain, he was faithful and the Lord blessed him.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.   Romans 8:28

There are many marriages today where the husband and wife made their choice and God was left out in the choosing, however, here is the beauty of our God...HE IS ALWAYS A PART OF THE EQUATION!  God is working on your behalf in your marriage.  God may not have chosen your mate before you walked down the aisle, but as soon as you said your, 'I Do's', He did!  He has made you 'one' with your spouse.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.  Genesis 2:24

Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.  Mark 10:9

I'm going to leave you with this...

Free will applies to my marriage today.  I have a marriage made up of two sinners and baggage!  A great marriage takes hard work and I work hard on my marriage.  I don't put my marriage on auto pilot just because God chose my husband.  But rather, I choose to make it my first ministry.

Yet, I am not so naive nor pious to think that hard times won't come because I have lived through them!  From losing our home, to an IRS audit, to a lawsuit, to not being able to afford rent and then having to move in with friends, I know what it's like to have strains on my marriage.  If the first marriage that God arranged was attacked in the Garden where things were perfect, then mine can be attacked even more so. 

Live a poured out life for Christ,

I am linked up with:

May His Word Go Forth

The Liebster Award??

The other day I received this sweet comment  from Piper over at Mercy Saved Me.

I received this award a few days ago and I thought of you when I finally sat down to post about it, now I am paying it forward by awarding it to you!! You have blessed me!!  ~Piper

You have been awarded the Liebster Blog Award.

The award is to showcase up and coming blogs with less that 200 followers.

Frankly, I originally thought this was a spam comment that came through or some type of spoof because I had never heard of such a thing!

So, based on the Liebster Award criteria, I would be honored to accept this award, (thanks Piper) and I am forwarding this award on to the  new blogs listed below.

These ladies all have a heart for the Lord and I think you'll like what they have to share on their blogs.

In Christ Alone Family

Proverbial Homemaker

Stringer Mama

Narrow Way Wife

Triple Braided Life

The rules to accept are:

The Criteria: The Liebster is meant to showcase bloggers who have fewer than 200 followers. This is all done in the spirit of pay-it-forward.

The Rules: You must mention and link to the person who awarded you the Liebster, and mention 5 other blogs with fewer than 200 followers who you think are worthy of the Liebster!

'Liebster' means "favorite" or "dearest" in German. This award, which originated in Germany, recognizes up and coming bloggers.

In accepting this award, I agree to:

Thank the person who gave me the award, and link back to their blog

- copy and paste the award to my blog

- reveal the 5 blogs I have chosen to award and let them know by commenting on their blog

- pay it forward by awarding it to bloggers they would like to honor

I am touched that another would think of me and I'm thankful that I have been given this opportunity to reach others to encourage them in their walk with Christ.

Whether you blog or not, may you always be a willing broken vessel for Christ, pouring out your life so His Word may go forth.