When His Purpose for Us Hurts

Today I am sick and have been now for several days.  It's just the flu, but I can't help but freak out mentality when I get ill.  I start hoping, praying, and pleading that the Lord does not take me back to that place...

That place that caused me so much pain and suffering.

That place that made me feel like I had no life.

That place where I was trapped in my own body.

That place were I looked fine on the outside, but on the inside I was a wreck.

That place where I just had to push through life.

That place that forced me to abandon my dreams.

That place where I was never physically enough for my family.

That place where I felt like a failure as a wife and mother.

That place where I felt useless for His service.

That place that still brings me to tears even as I type this now.

No, I don't want to go back to that place; that place called the land of chronic ill-health.

Since my body suffered with some many various issues over the years, I have certainly become well-rounded in the ill-health department.  And because of this, I've had many women ask me lots of health-related questions along with how did I live life in the process.  These are women, who are either in physical pain themselves, or it's their husband or children, and it's hard for them to not feel scared, frustrated, and helpless because of their situation.  My heart is always sad for them because I believe, at least for me, when one goes through the challenges of chronic ill health.....that, my friend, is a storm!  Your world is rocked.  The rug is pulled out from underneath you.  And you need to figure life out.

Some days it can seem like time is moving in slow motion and then there are other times when you feel like everyone else is living life all around you.   Although you may not look physically handicapped, you are.  Your spot in life is on the couch.

Pain.  Suffering.  Frustration.  Anger.  Apathy.  Depression.  Despair.   All of these become your new wardrobe.  You wear them daily and some days, you just can't take them off.  That's a wardrobe I'd like to throw out and never put back on, but we don't have a choice in this!

Lately, God has been stirring in my heart about the subject of chronic ill-health.  Recently, He has brought people into my life that are experiencing many of these similar issues.  In fact, just the other day, one woman said I probably help so many people because of all that I have learned in the alternative world of health.  I smile and let her know that my passion is to encourage women to live for Jesus Christ; to equip them so they can grow in Him, bring Him glory, and then ultimately, live a life poured out for Him.  Of course I will give them some tips here and there, but God has not placed on my heart a strong desire to write about one living a life of chronic-ill health, instead, He has asked me to do the following:

1. Write my story.


2. Equip and encourage women in their marriages.


3. Strengthen women in their faith (trials, whatever they are, will ALWAYS be a part of the believer's life.)  When a woman's faith is strong, she'll be able to weather any storm that comes her way.

Sure, there might be times when the Lord prompts me to write a post about homemaking, child rearing, living a frugal lifestyle, maybe even a post on homeschooling, but again, those topics are not the focus of The Alabaster Jar. They might show up from time to time, but they won't be the norm.  I'll continue to share my life because I believe that stories help people to see the bigger picture as they learn the biblical principles that I try to present, plus it shows them that I am real.

Just today I had a sweet on-line friend comment to me about her ill-health journey and our similarities, and she shared with me this verse and I thought it would minister to you as well (whatever your trials may be):

“As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.”

"but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him"......do you see that dear one?  Do you see that what you are going through is that the works of God might be displayed through you?  I do hope so!  You were put here on earth for a reason.  You are going through this trial for a purpose.  It may hurt.  But the purpose, if you shift your eyes ever so slightly, will outweigh your pain.  You, dear one, get to be used by The Almighty God because of your suffering.  All so He can be displayed......through you!  Don't lose heart.

I wrote this post about a year ago and for those of you that are new here, that have no idea what health trial I am referring to, I thought I'd share it with you in hopes that it would encourage you in your trials.

Lord, Why on Earth Would You Allow This?  (The Refiner's Fire, Part 2)

First, let me begin by telling you I had no intentions of writing this post anytime soon because, quite honestly, I did not want to mentally and emotionally relive the past feelings of my life where I experienced so much physical pain, long-suffering, hopelessness and times of despair as I walked with the Lord.  I knew at some point the Lord would have me share this part of my life with you, but I did not think it would be written now, in the middle of me telling you about our financial trials!

In fact, every time I’ve thought about writing on this subject matter, I would come to tears.  Just the other day as I was having a hard time coping with the reality that the Lord was going to have me face those many years of brokenness, I cried to Him and said, “Can’t you use my strengths instead of my weaknesses?   I am sure He was probably smiling down on me when I said that!

 "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Lord, why on earth would you allow this?

I can’t tell you how many times I have asked the Lord that question.  All I’ve wanted to do since I gave my heart to Him was serve Him.  When I married, I wanted to make sure I lived a life where I brought respect and honor to my husband and that I served him as well.  When I had my children, I desired to raise them in the Lord as I spent time homeschooling them and teaching them to build God’s kingdom.  I did not understand why the Lord would allow my body to have one disease and disorder after another and for so many years.  But God had a plan in all of my pain and there was a purpose for it!

The story below was the beginning of my refining process.  If you missed part 1 of The Refiner's Fire you can read it here, just click on the link.

So because of God’s grace, I will briefly share my weaknesses.

 

The pain was unbearable.  When would it end?

It was 1998.  I had been saved for almost 2 years and married for one month.  I received a call from my doctor telling me I had pre-cancerous cells of my cervix and I needed laser surgery.  They were not sure if I would be able to have children as a result of the damage to my cervix.  I was not expecting to hear those words!  Here's God's hand in the midst of the heartache, fears, lost dreams and pain.  About a year later I became pregnant with my firstborn son and 1 year after he was born, I was pregnant with my second child.

However, little did I know that during my first pregnancy, a host of illnesses were brewing in my body and they were about to explode.  Over a 10 year period of time I saw one doctor after another for all of the diseases and disorders that were manifesting in my body.  There were days that my husband would send his assistant up to our house to watch my babies just so I could get some rest.  The night before I did not get any sleep due to severe joint pain, infections or vomiting which prevented me from getting any rest.  Many weeks I saw doctor after doctor for treatment after treatment.  For a two month period of time I saw 4 different doctors per week to help restore my health.  Below is a list of doctors that had treated me over the years:

·       A doctor of internal medicine

·       A rheumatologist

·       An ophthalmologist

·       Several gynecologists

·       A gastroenterologist

·       A clinical nutritionist

·       An alternative medicine doctor

·       A dentist to treat Periodontal Gum Disease

·       A physical therapist

·       An alternative medicine doctor for PMS and thyroid disorders

·       A doctor of Chinese medicine accompanied with acupuncture

During my time with them, they diagnosed me with:

·   An autoimmune disease of my glands known as Sjorgren’s syndrome.  As a result of this syndrome, I was unable to nurse my children but I did not know that at the time.  I had chronic fatigue and chronic joint pain.  I was constantly sick and I was starting to have vision problems.  The doctor told me I had abrasions on my eyes due to lack of moisture because my glands were not functioning, so he plugged my tear ducts.  I was also diagnosed as having border-line Lupus which is also an autoimmune disease, along with fibromyalgia and IBS.  Life long drugs were their answer to all my problems.  (We decided it was best for us to seek alternative treatment.)

·      In the alternative world of medicine I was treated for Candida Albicans which is an overgrowth of yeast in one’s body that can destroy the immune system.  During the course of 1 ½ years, I took over 90 pills a day which were natural supplements and my diet was restricted to protein and veggies.  (It was enjoyable to say the least.) sarcasm noted

·      Along with Candida, I was diagnosed with Leaky Gut Syndrome, because I had microscopic tears in my intestinal lining, and if that wasn't enough, I was also Insulin Resistance which was a precursor to Diabetes.

·       At one point in my life I was rushed to the ER by ambulance because I was doubled over in pain, unable to stand and I was constantly vomiting.  We thought my appendix might have burst.  After an ultrasound, a vaginal ultrasound and a CAT scan, they found that I had a ruptured ovarian cyst.  Little did I know I would experience that pain every month for the next 6 months.  I was soon diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.  My hormones were severely out of balance which caused an ongoing, monthly depression just before my menstrual cycle.  On top of all of that, my entire endocrine system was bogged down and I was functioning off of my adrenal glands which caused a lot of the chronic fatigue, the anxiousness and irritability.

·      In addition to everything else that was going on in my body, for 1 ½ years I had a severe vaginal and rectal infection that greatly hindered my ability to just get through the day.  The doctors had never seen anything like it and they did not know what it was.  (That was comforting to hear.) Just 1 month after my rush to the E.R. for my ovarian cyst, I had a Colonoscopy at age 34 to find out the cause of the rectal infection, yet, they could not see everything because of a blockage in my small intestine.  (Hmmm, I guess all of the years of chronic constipation would create a blockage!)  Again, no answers and no relief.   The medication that the docs gave me for my vaginal infection caused me to break out over my entire body with hives.  It was a Mother’s Day I would never forget.  I couldn’t take any more pain.  I felt like it was killing me.  All I longed to do is go home to be with Jesus.  That Sunday morning, my husband took me to the elders of the church for prayer and oil.

“Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.”  James 5:14

Throughout those long and painful 10 years, I had treatments that would range from:

·       6 months of nightly enemas with probiotics in them.  (I was 33 years old at the time and I felt like I was living in a body of an 80 year old woman.)

·    Taking natural progesterone that was injected into me rectally 3 times a day for at least 5 years because of my ovarian cysts.

·       I gave myself weekly B-12 shots in hopes that the fatigue would go away.

·     I was hooked up to an IV once a week for 8 weeks for chelation treatments hoping to rid my body of toxins.

·      At one point, my blood was run routinely through an IV that was under a UV ray light in hopes that the light rays would kill off any viruses in my body.

·      Not to mention all the disgusting green drinks and restrictive diets that I had to be on in order to restore my health.  (Eating soup with chicken feet in it was not enjoyable!)

Because we sought alternative medicine, the office visits, treatments and supplements were not covered by our insurance.  For 1 ½ years the cost for my health would range from $1000-$1500 per month.  Over the next 5 years, that number would decrease to $800 and then to $300 per month. There were days that I was becoming healthier.  One day in particular, I can remember the excitement I had as I shared with my husband that I was able to make my young boys lunch!

During year 5 of my health journey, I prayed for contentment. 

"Now godliness with contentment is great gain."  1 Timothy 6:6

I was tired of trying to restore my health and I no longer wanted it to be such a huge focus of my life.  I had to come to grips with the fact that I could not have the life that I longed for based on my physical limitations and I did not want my pursuit of health to become my idol.  For a few years my body was stable as long as I was still taking my supplements and limiting my diet, so I timidly stepped out to serve the Lord as we started a new ministry.

But shortly things got worse and they got worse at the wrong time!  My body started to decline once again and the supplements were no longer maintaining my health.  We were starting to have financial trials, (read The Refiner's Fire to know more about them,) and the cost of $300 a month for supplements that were no longer working did not seem like a wise purchase.

My health trial and our financial trials collided.  I did not know what to do.  I was becoming sicker and sicker and more of my organs were starting to shut down.  We had no health insurance and we maybe had $300 to our name.  Our home was now in foreclosure and I now had more responsibilities due to the new ministry.  I felt like I was drowning trying to manage all that was needed in my home because of the additional financial hardships as well.  Lord, why on earth would you allow this?

It is funny how our journey with the Lord is called our 'Christian walk'.  To me, it felt like a 'crawl'.  I never felt like I was in an upright position pursuing Jesus.  I was so broken and feeble that I daily had to crawl to Him.

"He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.  For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer." 2 Corinthians 1:4-6

God's hand of faithfulness has always been upon us even when I did not understand why God was taking us through this major storm.  When the IRS audited us, they found that they owed us several thousand dollars and the lawsuit that went on for 5 years, the plaintiffs dropped the case against my husband because there was no case.   See how God works!

The Lord is always with us but sometimes through all of the pain we can't see Him, feel Him, or hear Him.

He is with you as well.  He is refining you for a purpose that is just for Him so He can be revealed through you!  Don't get discouraged and don't lose hope.  He is always right there by your side when you are hurting and when you are questioning.

He was right by Job's side when he questioned the Lord as well.  And what was the Lord's response to Job?

"Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding.  Job 38:4

Sometimes we are not going to understand everything that God takes us through.  We just need to be obedient and faithful to Him despite our hardships because God does not owe us anything. 

And he (Job) said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, And naked shall I return there. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; Blessed be the name of the LORD."  Job 1:21 (my emphasis)

Live a poured out life for the Master,

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When You Need Help..... & a Marital Oneness Monday Link Up

Imagine for a moment that the Creator of the Universe asked you to do something that you are totally uncomfortable with.  Something you felt completely unqualified and ill-equipped to do.  Yet, He asked you to do it anyways?

He told you to go take charge of something and lead it, oversee it, and be completely responsible for it even though you knew you would fall short. You knew this would not be easy for you because you're not a natural at this task.

He also asked you to handle this responsibility with the utmost care and do it in a way that reflects Him while you're doing it.

Seems like a daunting task so far, doesn't it?

But He sends someone to your side to assist you in this big task in hopes that it will alleviate some of your responsibilities.

Even though you have someone to help you, you are still trying your best to figure out how to lead and reflect Christ, but of course, you still fall short.  You begin to doubt yourself.  You start to make bad decisions.  Soon, you are forced to make choices in situations that you don't know how to handle.  You look to find examples for help, but unfortunately, those examples are few and far between.  You become discouraged as others are telling you that you are doing it all wrong.  Those around you are mocking you.  Even society tells you what a fool you are.  You feel defeated.

What if the person by your side in this monumental task was kind, gracious, and encouraging?  Would that make a difference to you?  Would you be less fearful?  Feel better equipped?

Or, what if the person was judgmental, critical, and condemning?  How would that make you feel?

Which one would you rather have by your side?

Well, anyone in their right mind would choose the person who is gracious, kind, and encouraging, of course!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

If you haven't figured out what this monumental task is that I am referring to, it is that of being a godly husband.  I did a role-reversal for you!  You know, walk in his shoes for a day.

Source: wearethatfamily.com via Jolene on Pinterest

God has given our men the huge responsibility of leading our families.  He asked them to lead in such a way that is not natural to their flesh, after all, they are to love us the way Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for it.  That's a tall order, girlfriend!

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.  Eph. 5:25

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.  Colossians 3:19 NIV

Many men don't know how to be the godly husband they want to be.  Where and who do they turn to for their examples?

Let's just be real for a moment.  We all know there are not too many godly men in the world today!  Perhaps if they watched some t.v. they might find some good examples of a husband or father there, right?  That that's the furthest thing from the truth!  Our society has become so female dominant that it's disgusting!!  Men are being emasculated all over the place and the ones who do stand for the Lord are being mocked and told they are chauvinistic.

Sure, there are men who have a a better understanding of the scriptures and they pursue the Lord with their whole heart, but they fall short too!

But God being a great God, He knew that the person by the husband's side could help him be a better husband......unless the wife is like the helper who was judgmental, critical, and condemning.  A helper like that certainly makes the husband's job a lot more difficult!

But, have no fear, the Lord also gave your husband the Helper of the Holy Spirit!

"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.  John 14:26

And because we can't do this whole 'helper, kind, gracious, and encouraging wife thing' on our own either, the Lord gave us the Helper too.

Husbands and wives ALL fall short.  We ALL need forgiveness.  And we need to forgive each other.  Every. Single. Day. Until. Death. Do. Us. Part.

I am thankful that God forgives me and doesn't keep a record of my sins!!

If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared.  Psalm 130:3,4

Love keeps no record of wrongs.  1 Corinthians 13:5

Which kind of helper would you like to be for your husband?  Don't forget that you have the Helper as well!

Live a poured out life for the Master,

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Subscribe through email or 'like' my page on Facebook to receive future posts.

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I have a passion for marriage so I invite you to join me every Monday for this link-up!

Please share your post on any and all things related to being a wife, i.e. homemaking ideas, ways you minister to your husband, dating ideas, and/or hearing what the Lord is telling you about your most important earthly relationship!

Link to your actual “Marital Oneness Mondays” post, not just your general blog address--that way if readers come by later in the week, they can click your relevant post. And link back to this community, either by using the button below or a text link. You can find the button code here for you to insert in your post:

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Why I Write Controversial Posts

So I have been asked a few questions by one of my readers and since we needed to put the radio show on the back-burner for now, I decided to answer her questions via my blog.

Jolene, so many of things you say are controversial and I do not agree with all of them and I LOVE IT! So many christian women who blog stick to the domestic arts, praising home-school, and quoting their favorite, non-controversial, bible verses. There is nothing wrong with that, you can tell many of these women have beautiful hearts to share. But I want something more. I want a post that makes me think, brings to attention a scripture I had not considered in a certain situation, or challenges a commonly held belief. I was wondering if, during your radio show, you and your husband could discuss how you decide what to share in a public forum and how you remain committed to submitting to your husband’s will and God’s will. Is there ever a time you feel compelled to share something where your husband advises against it, or ever a time your husband calls you to write something that you feel is beyond your comfort level?

First let me give you the reasons why I blog or speak to begin with.  In fact, I will also tell you what I won't or don't do with my blog because this helps me to explain myself as well.   Yes, the fact that I do this when asked most questions drives my husband crazy!

I have been blogging now for a year and I started doing so because God called me to write.  At the time I did not know what writing for Him looked like.  In fact, I had never even read blogs when I started on this journey.  The times I did come across a blog or two is when I did a google search for a recipe, but all I wanted was the recipe, not the 2 or 3 paragraphs the blogger wrote about her day or how she was feeling.   In a nutshell, I was really a blogging newbie when I started this ministry.  So, I had to continually seek the Lord (still do) to find out what He wanted from me.  I needed to put on blinders as well, because I have learned that there are many, many reasons why people blog and I didn't want to get caught up with what everyone else was doing.  I wanted to do what my Father has called me to do and nothing else.

Photo Source

What I don't do with my blog:

• I am not an aspiring writer, and therefore, I don't blog for the purpose of getting my name out.  I am not here to hone my skills because writing is not my thing; it's not my passion.   However, this is the platform that God has me using to lift Him up for all to see.  My passion is to encourage, equip, and inspire others to live for Jesus Christ, (and from what I've heard from some of my readers, I can now add 'challenge' to that list as well. :))  Some write a blog because they'd love to be a writer.  I say, to each his own.
  

"And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself."  John 12:32

• I do not blog for profit nor do I intend to.  There are many wonderful, God-fearing women who do, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!  They are using their time and talents to build a cottage industry for their family.  That is where God has called them, not me.

• Some women blog to keep a record of their life or to share their life with others.  Again, that is not the reason why I started this blog, because I just don't roll that way!  However, I am learning that people do want to know more about my life seeing how I have shared my story of trials.  Again, I do it with the intentions of  drawing them closer to Jesus Christ.

• Some blog because it is a cathartic experience.  As they write their words out it becomes very therapeutic for them.  When I started this ministry, I did not believe what I wrote would minister to me.  But I was dead wrong about that!  Many, many times as I am writing a post and I can't form my words for nothing, and my mind is a jumbled mess of thoughts, I wait for the Lord to show up and do His thing.  And of course He does and then all of a sudden there is this post!  I don't know how it happens.  I just sit down with thoughts swirling in my brain and because I don't feel like I know how to write, I just give my computer over to the Lord (after all, it is His ministry)....and then something miraculous happens.  Words spill on to the page.  Sometimes painful words.  Gut-wrenching, tear-filled words are typed out.  Sometimes beautiful, life-breathing words.  Words that edify and encourage.  Words that I have no idea where they came from.... appear on the screen.  It is not I who wrote those words, but 'The Great I Am', the Almighty God, the Lover of My Soul.  So, I have found that within this ministry, God ministers to me.  There have been numerous occasions that when I have finished reading the post I just wrote, that I am in tears.  My Redeemer soothes my soul.  He tells me He loves me and reminds me that everything is going to be okay. Even though I am ministered to by the Lord in this experience, I do not write for this reason.  Again, there can be many women out there who blog specifically because of the healing and/or ministering it brings to them, but that is not the main reason why I write.

Now that I have told you why I don't blog for certain reasons, here is the number one reason why I do write...To do the will of My Father!

So, the reader's question is,

"How do I decide what to share in a public forum?"

I have no formula for this answer.  I just listen to the Lord.  If God is calling me to write a difficult, controversial post, which He does sometimes, then I write it (sometimes with kicking, pleading and screaming!)  If I choose not to, then I won't have peace in my spirit because I am not submitting to His will.  I'll lose sleep over this, btw!  And if there are two things that I'm not fond of, one is wrestling with my Father and the other is a lack of sleep!  So, the controversial posts are written and it is well with my soul.  Yes, later I will be attacked and criticized for what was said but I need to remind myself that they are attacking Christ, not me.  It's not easy to do, and no, I have not mastered this!

My husband's thoughts on the controversial posts are this....What I write is not my message, but rather, it is the Lord's.  My Beloved is always supportive of me tackling the difficult issues.  In fact, he feels that my personality and my voice, is made to do just that.  He leans more towards me writing the deeper, challenging posts than I do.  Funny thing about it is, a few of the posts that have brought some controversy are usually his promptings or his salacious titles!

Question:  Has there ever been a time my husband calls me to write something that I feel is beyond my comfort level?

Um, ya, that's a resounding yes!  I sometimes feel my husband thinks I'm some mighty she-warrior for the Lord, ready to go into battle looking to defeat a giant as big as Goliath!  In reality, I am just a woman trying to live by faith, looking to please the Lord, wanting to be a poured out offering for my Savior....and one who gets hurt, rejected and cries.  Even though my husband does not blog, he is a vital part of this ministry because I couldn't do this without him.  The Lord has placed him by my side specifically to encourage me while I step out in faith.  God knew that I would get attacked as I spoke/wrote His message, so he gave me a husband who is designed to uplift and minister to me when I am broken and wounded because I have embraced this call.  As any warrior that goes out to battle, we come back wounded, hurt, and bleeding and God has strategically placed my man (along with a few dear women) right by my side where they use the gifts that the Lord has given to them just for this purpose and all for His glory.   More times than not, my Beloved is always the one pressing me to further step out in faith, rather than it being the other way around.  But again, he knows that the Lord has called him to minister to me for God's glory.  However, he has also learned to protect my spiritual well-being and he has figured out that I can only handle so many attacks all at once!

Question:  Is there ever a time you feel compelled to share something where your husband advises against it?

I can't ever think of a time when I felt more compelled to share something that my Beloved was not in agreement with.  However, there have been times when he has told me not to read certain comments, emails, go into forums, etc., because he knew how it would negatively effect my spiritual well-being and he is not interested in having that happen.  Been there, done that!  So, I learned to heed his words because he is wanting to protect me, not hinder me in ministry.  In fact, there have been times when he has asked me for my computer so he could reply to comments/emails and I have just handed it over to him without question.  Again, he has been placed by my side to protect me and encourage me.  He's got my back, therefore, I have learned not to control him.

Question:  How do you remain committed to submitting to God’s will?

He died for me.  His blood was poured out for me.  He hung on the cross for me.  He redeemed and restored this former woman at the well.  He adopted me into His family.  He has given me eternal life.  The least I can do for my Savior is pour out my life for Him and build up His kingdom....regardless of how uncomfortable that feels and how many people (Christians or non-Christians, alike) disapprove of me.  I certainly have not perfected this.  I fail daily, but daily I try again, and again.

Question:  How do you remain committed to submitting to your husband's will?

Again, we have learned that within this ministry, God has called me to write and God has called my man to minister to me.  It is an interesting ministry to say the least!  There are certainly moments when my Beloved has asked me to write something I am completely uncomfortable with, but I have to remind myself that God has placed him as my headship.  Ultimately, if I get attacked, (and I get discouraged and cry) then my Beloved comes to my side and comforts and encourages me; that's his role. It has been a learning process for both of us.  We have had conversations of what I need from him in order to keep sticking my neck out for Christ, and how I get tired of being stoned by the brethren.  I am not interested in running ahead of my husband, because if I do, I am alone and unprotected.  So, we go together because we are 'one'.

Believe it or not, I don't seek out to write controversial posts, I just write what God has put on my heart knowing full well there will be attacks.   I would be spiritually naive to think that wouldn't happen.  I am sure the enemy would love for me to keep my mouth shut, but then again, we are in a spiritual battle!

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.  Ephesians 6:12

I can't help but think about Ezekiel and Paul and all they went through for the Lord.  The call is to be obedient, not comfortable!

How about you?  Is God calling you to do something that is difficult or against the norm?  Will you heed the call even if it makes you feel uneasy?

No, I Don't Do Bunnies at Easter

Perhaps you are new to coming to Christ or you want more Christ-centered Easter traditions to help foster your children's faith, if that is the case, then take a look at these activities!  All of these ideas point you and your kiddos to Jesus.  They are great teaching tools, reminders, and faith-builders for you and your family.  You can find more activities like these listed here at, Christ-Centered Easter Activities for Your Family.

As well, you can use many of these ideas as an outreach as you teach others about the true meaning of Easter.

No one has a guarantee of tomorrow, so my encouragement to you is to be intentional and passionate about shepherding your children to our Savior, today!  Spend your time and financial resources on things that will draw you and others towards Christ.   Seeing how I do not believe there is anything that is spiritually profitable about the 'bunny' at Easter, I don't waste my time doing things that center around this animal.  In fact, I think the enemy uses the bunny as a sly way of distracting us and diverting our attention from Christ to a cute, little, cuddly critter during this time of year.  You know, he is cunning like that!

Rather, let's have our focus on Jesus this Easter seeing how He paid the debt for our sins and He poured out His blood for us.

I guess if people can be anti-Jesus, then I can be anti-bunny for just 1 day out of the year! (lol)

Now, on with the activities!

Click on the pictures below and they'll give you all the details!

Crown of Thorns Snack

Love, love, love this!

Source: freefuneaster.com via Jolene on Pinterest

Marshmallow Lambs

I think these are adorable!

Source: freefuneaster.com via Jolene on Pinterest

Empty Tomb Treats

Isn't this idea so cute and creative?  I might have to do these seeing how the men in my house LOVE donuts!

Source: freefuneaster.com via Jolene on Pinterest

Paper Plate Tomb Craft

For the non-sweets people, this one is for you!

Source: freefuneaster.com via Jolene on Pinterest

Lamb of God Baskets

Seeing how I couldn't find a picture to show you about these baskets, here's my friend's little girl with her Lamb of God Easter basket.  I wrote out the instructions for this basket here, but I thought the photo could help you.  The milk jug handle is in the back and it's the handle to this basket as well.

Resurrection Rolls

I included these on my earlier post, too, but again I had no picture.  What can I say, I like to teach and share with pictures!

Live a poured out life for the Master,

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An Angry Fit and a Flying Racket on My Honeymoon...plus a Link Up!

We were married for all of two days.  My dreamy husband and I were off to play a fun game of tennis in the wonderful sunshine of Maui, Hawaii.  I didn't know how to play tennis, in fact, I didn't even know how to keep score, yet, I owned a racket because I thought the sport would be fun.  Seeing how I had spent years playing volleyball, I felt I could pick up the game pretty quick and I thought I would be rather good at it.  Little did I know that I would be dead wrong about my athletic ability!

My man on the other hand, he knew how to play.  He was good at it and he smoked me in the game.  I became so frustrated and angry that I threw my racket!  Yep, I did!  Although, I didn't throw it at him, I threw it nonetheless!  This sweet, new, Christian bride threw it because I was so mad that I lost.  Can you say, "poor loser"!

Photo Source

Protection Against a Divisive Spirit

We quickly learned that it was not best for our relationship to compete against each other, and over the course of our 14 years of marriage, we have not.  Not even in board games!  Because I like to win at those too!  I even have a son when he was very young, chuck the board game across the room when he would lose.  Hmmm, I wonder where he got that trait from?  But the Bible tells us that one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control, so you'd think that I, being a Christian woman, might have been able to maintain some and have a little dignity as well.  Yay, well, that was not the case on the court that day!

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.  Galatians 5:22,23

My Beloved loves to compete as well, and of course when he competes he wants to win too; who doesn't!  But  we made a choice that our marriage, our unity/oneness, was more important than either of us beating the other person in some silly game no matter how much we liked the sport.

However, after 14 years of marriage, we decided to play tennis the other day.  But this time was going to be different because we were going to play as a family.  We thought it was a good activity that all of us could do together seeing how my bad knees and hip can't handle doing many things.

Afterwards, husband and wife took to the court for a more rigorous workout.  I fully felt that I could handle playing, because after all, the Lord has fed me some humble pie for the last 14 years with all the long-suffering that I have been through.  I was much more controlled and I had a lot more gentleness.  I now had at least a few of the fruits of the Spirit under my belt!  It was okay if I didn't win, I was just happy for the opportunity to play.  Or so I thought!

Even though my Beloved lowered his playing ability, I was still poor at my game and he could see the frustration on my face and the smoke coming out of my ears.  But this time I didn't throw my racket!

He walked over to my side of the court and put his arm around me and said, "Is this a good idea?"  "Do you think we should continue playing?"

"I'm fine!" I said.  I really wasn't fine, I was bent out of shape because I was losing!

Competing Against Each Other Does Not Breed Unity

Well, the next time we played, we didn't keep score (smile) because our relationship is more important than who wins a tennis match!

So do you ever find yourself competing in any way with your husband?  If you do, ask yourself if it is hindering your oneness; the unity in your marriage.  A friendly game of competition here and there may be a little thing, but over time it could seep into other areas and become a big wedge in your marriage, slowly putting you at odds with your man.  The Lord wants the husband and wife joined and united, not just in the big things but the little things as well.

"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."  Ephesians 5:31

Maybe you're not so big on the competition thing, but your man is and perhaps he is likely to throw his racket!  Or quite possibly you love to compete like I do.  I understand your viewpoint, friend!  Here's some tips below to help you.

3 Ways to Strengthen Your Oneness

• Whatever game it is, instead of trying to compete and beat him, be on the same team.  This will help you guard your tongue from snide and sarcastic jabs that you may say to one another.  (And it will help keep you from throwing your racket in case you happen to be playing tennis!)


• Encourage him while playing.  You will be building him up rather than tearing him down.

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.  Proverbs 31:26

• Don't keep score if you are on opposing sides.  You're objective is not to win but to stay united and have fun.

A Song of Ascents. Of David. Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!   Psalm 133:1

A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.  Proverbs 17:22

Competing can be lots of fun, but someone always loses.  This issue could seem petty, but what the Lord wants is for us as brothers and sisters (husband and wife) to be united with no division amongst us.  These few and seemingly insignificant things listed above will fortify your marriage and protect it from the sly, little, undermining thistles that opposing, competing, and contending with one another can bring.  I encourage you to be proactive in bolstering your oneness because when you are faced with bigger issues, you'll have a tighter bond.    Don't leave even a small crack in your relationship because Satan will do his best to get in there and tear the two of you apart.

How about you?  Do you struggle with selfish ambition as you compete and contend with your husband?  What do you do to combat your divisive spirit?

Live a poured out life for the Master,

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I have a passion for marriage so I invite you to join me every Monday for this link-up!

Please share your post on any and all things related to being a wife, i.e. homemaking ideas, ways you minister to your husband, dating ideas, and/or hearing what the Lord is telling you about your most important earthly relationship!

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Are Trials Really Good for Us?

Can I grab your hand and take you on a journey to see the remarkable things that God does?  I hope you will allow me to do so because seeing God at work is amazing and awe-inspiring.  When we see God’s faithfulness either in our own lives or in the lives of others, it strengthens our faith and breathes new life into us.  It is spiritually rejuvenating and I think all Christians need to be uplifted from time to time, especially in this economy.

Today, I am going to write on trials because we all experience them in one way or another.  As believers, we talk often of our trials but not all trials are the same.  Some trials we’ve brought on ourselves, and therefore God is chastising us.  When we are in habitual, unrepentant sin, our life is going to be hard and it is going to get painful.  A Biblical example of this would be David and Bathsheba.  We all know the story of this lustful adulterer, who then became a murderer (how would you like to have that as part of your reputation?).  Obviously, because David went outside of the will of God he was disobedient, and therefore he had consequences to his actions.  He was chastised as a result and thus he endured some hard times, aka- trials.  He most certainly was refined in the process because of his poor choices.  Of course, we when are in sin, we need to repent and get right with God.

Then you have others types of trials.  Trials that sift us, refine us, and that take us through the sanctification process as Christians.  When we are walking with the Lord and we are obedient as much as humanly possible, trials still come our way.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23

Here are some Biblical examples:  Daniel in the lions den, Joseph sold into slavery and then later put into prison, Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego in the fiery furnace and of course our faithful friend, the expert on trials, Job.  Look at those men for just a minute and reflect on their lives.  They were honorable, filled with integrity and committed to pleasing the Lord, yet they lived in some tumultuous storms!  However, God saw it fit to put them through those things or allow them to happen so He could teach us and others to look to these men as an example of faith and trust in the Lord.  When you are in a trial like this one, you need to have the right perspective.

In my prior posts, I would write about what God had done in our lives as we were going through all of our trials, but today I am going to share with you our current situation filled with more uncertainty and hardships.  I would love for you to join me as we watch God together, use His miraculous hand to shut the lions mouth in my own life, if you will.

The last time I wrote you I told you that our dream home, located on Ashbury Lane, was going to be sold on the courthouse steps in April of 2010.  So, in March of that year, we packed up our home and moved to a rental house and lived there for 10 months…until God moved us BACK to the property on Ashbury Lane!  Ridiculous and crazy, I know.  (That’s a story in itself that I will tell at another time.)  We moved back to the home on Ashbury this past January, which is where we live now.

So here we are now, July 10, 2011.  Our home is scheduled to go to sale (again) tomorrow, July 11^th, 2011 at 11:30 a.m.  Now, let me take off my mask.  You know the mask I’m talking about.  I’ll call it the Christian mask that we wear that shows everyone that our lives are perfect. 

Here is our reality.  My husband, being in real estate, has no new clients that he is working with, so in the mean time he has been doing handyman jobs of all kinds.  You name, he does it and we are very thankful for the work that God has given him.  Up until this time, he has had some daily work but even that has died off and he has had no upcoming jobs.  Over the last month his transmission went out in his truck which cost him over $1500 and I ended up in Urgent Care twice, costing us an additional $200.  Here we are with just a few hundred dollars left in our pockets, no new work for my husband and a home that is going to be sold soon and this time, there is no money for us to move to a rental home.  In fact just this past week our phone was disconnected and the gas in our home was going to be turned off the following day.  As my husband shared all this news with me I asked him if he got the mail yet, to see if there was a check in it.  I knew that God was going to provide for us, but I just did not know how.  Soon my husband came in with a mail piece and he said listen to this.  I smiled.  I knew that God was doing something.  He read me the current electric bill which said we had a credit balance.  What?  How do we have a credit balance when we owed them from the last two months?  The bill said we had a credit of $500.  How is that possible we thought?  We never had $500 to give them.  I smiled at my husband and said I am sure the check they received for our bill had Jesus’ signature on it.  Oh and by the way, my husband received work that same day and a day later we were blessed with money for groceries.  Make no mistake about it, that's God's hand my friend!

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."  James 1:2-4

We can either become better or bitter.

I never thought I would say this, because when I read this verse as a new believer, I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I had read!  Consider it joy?  What?  Why?  How is that possible?  But today, many years later and many trials later, I can say trials are a good thing because they strengthen our faith and trust in God.  As we come out of a trial, we are closer to Christ and perhaps we have a stronger resolve or conviction to follow Him, IF we have chosen to run towards the Cross and not away from it.  IF we have chosen to become BETTER as we look to strengthening our relationship with the Lord and not BITTER because we have a sense of self-entitlement.

The Cross is where we find hope, healing, refreshment, inspiration, encouragement and the strength to endure the path that is set before us.

In our society we often hear about two different perspectives on life.  One mindset being that the ‘glass is half-full’ and the other being the ‘glass is half-empty’.  I want to challenge you today and encourage you to try and change the way you think about your glass, (your life).  Regardless of your circumstances, whether they are financial, marital, health-related, etc., think of your glass as being FULL, full of the Living Water that is!

"Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."   John 7:38

"For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."  Revelation 7:17

God is doing amazing things in the lives of His princesses, but generally speaking, we are just too busy and too worried, anxious, fearful, consumed with our problems, etc., to stop and take notice of how He works things out in our lives.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

He has a great plan for you and me. 

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

Search for Him with all your heart and trust Him.


Let's go to the Cross together.  I’ll do the best I can in Christ’s strength and through this blog to lift you up and grab your hand when you are down, if you promise me to extend your hand to another when they are down.  That’s how the Body of Christ works.  It is the Holy Spirit working through the King’s princesses.  What do you think?  Do you want to join me on this journey as we tell others of His awesome works?

"A psalm of praise of David. I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever.  Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever. Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. One generation will commend your works to another; they will tell of your mighty acts. They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty, and I will meditate on your wonderful works. They will tell of the power of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds."  Psalm 145:1-6

You can learn more about our journey here at, Not My Will, But Yours Be Done.

Christ-Centered Easter Activities for Your Family

Resurrection Day is right around the corner!  It's probably my favorite holiday right next to Christmas!

When my boys were young tots, I wanted to make sure their eyes were on Christ at Easter and not on the bunny.  I have nothing against bunnies, in fact, I think they are quite cute, BUT there is nothing spiritually profitable in teaching young souls to believe in the bunny during the time when we celebrate our Risen Savior.

So, instead of doing a bunch of traditional activities, I incorporated Christ-centered ones into our home. These activities are hands-on, practical, and easy for the whole family!  I have listed several of them for you to pick and choose based on your time and budget.

Enjoy shepherding your children to Jesus!

Resurrection Eggs

Over the years we have used Resurrection Eggs from Family Life.  We found them years ago at a local Christian bookstore.  You can even find them now at Wal-Mart.  They are a great teaching tool of the Easter story.

Source: bing.com via Jolene on Pinterest

Resurrection Cookies

Ingredients:

You need: 1c. whole pecans, 1 tsp. vinegar, 3 egg whites,
pinch salt, 1c. sugar, zipper baggie, wooden spoon, tape, Bible.

Preheat oven to 300 BEFORE BEGINNING

Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces.
Explain that after Jesus was arrested He was beaten by the Roman soldiers. Read John 19:1-3.

Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. vinegar into mixing bowl.
Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross he was given vinegar to drink. Read John 19:28-30.

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life.
Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life. Read John 10:10-11.

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl.
Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our own sin.
Read Luke 23:27.

So far the ingredients are not very appetizing.

Add 1 c. sugar.
Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know this and how to belong to Him. Read Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16.

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed.
Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3.

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet.
Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid. Read Matt. 27:57-60.

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF.

Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door. If you have any army men, put them by the oven to act like the Roman soldier.
Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed. Read Matt.27:65-66.

GO TO BED!
Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. Read John 16:20 and 22.

The next morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie.

Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Easter Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty! Read Matt. 28:1-9

Resurrection Rolls

Ingredients:

1 pkg. crescent rolls

Large marshmallows (1 per child)

Melted butter

Cinnamon sugar

Give each child one marshmallow. The marshmallow represents Jesus.

Dip the marshmallow in butter and then in the cinnamon sugar mixture. This represents the anointing oils and burial spices.

Wrap the marshmallow up in one triangle of dough. This represents the tomb.

Cook according to package.

When you take a bite, you'll notice that the marshmallow is gone. Jesus is risen!

Lamb of God Easter Baskets

My children would use these baskets to collect the Resurrection Eggs each year and they absolutely loved it!!  (I have scoured my picture files and I can't find a one to show you an example, so you'll need to picture this in your mind!) Update:  You can see a picture of them here.

Supplies needed:

1 Gallon empty plastic milk container (1 container per child)

Large cotton balls

White glue

Googly eyes

Black construction paper for lamb ears and a lamb nose

Take an empty plastic milk jug and cut the top of.  Keep the handle attached because that is how your child will hold their Lamb of God basket.

Cover the plastic container with white glue (painting on watered-down glue is best for little ones!)

Place cotton balls all around the container. This is the lamb's wool so you'll want to cover the container real well.

Cut out lamb ears and a nose and glue on to cotton.

Add eyes.

Now you should have an adorable little lamb basket!

Jesus is the Lamb of God Cupcakes

I just found this one on Pinterest recently and would love to make them with my boys!

Source: landolakes.com via Jolene on Pinterest

Easter Garden

We've never done this one either,  but I love the idea as well.  It's a little out of our budget at this time but I thought I would still share it with you!

Source: Uploaded by user via Jolene on Pinterest

Plant an Easter Garden! Using potting soil, a tiny buried flower pot for the tomb, shade grass seed, & crosses made from twigs. Sprinkle grass seed generously on top of dirt, keep moistened using a spray water bottle. Spritz it several times a day.  Set it in a warm sunny location.  Sprouts in 7-10 days so plan ahead.  The tomb is EMPTY! He is Risen!

You can find more Christ-centered Easter activities listed here.

Live a poured out life for the Master,

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I am linked up with: Teaching What is Good, Consider the Lilies, Becoming a Strong Woman of God, Time-Warp Wife, Heavenly Homemakers, Growing Home, Far Above Rubies, Women Living Well, The Better Mom, Deep Roots at Home, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home