Welcome back to Part 4. Today I am going to address two concerns amongst Christian wives and mothers.
Concern #1: What if your husband wants you to get a job?
Concern #2: Since the Proverbs 31 woman was industrious, should a Christian wife and mother get a job outside of the home?
If you haven't read Part 1, Part 2 or Part 3 please take the time to read them so you can get the full context of this post.
So, as a Christian wife and mother, if your husband asks you to get a job in this economy, should you listen to him? Let’s turn to the Scriptures for the answer.
Concern #1: What if your husband wants you to get a job?
Concern #2: Since the Proverbs 31 woman was industrious, should a Christian wife and mother get a job outside of the home?
If you haven't read Part 1, Part 2 or Part 3 please take the time to read them so you can get the full context of this post.
So, as a Christian wife and mother, if your husband asks you to get a job in this economy, should you listen to him? Let’s turn to the Scriptures for the answer.
- · "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." Ephesians 5:22 "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:24
- · “In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won by the conduct of their wives, by observing your pure and reverent lives.” 1 Peter 3:1,2
The Scriptures are clear, as a wife, you are to submit to your husband in everything. The only time you do not obey your husband is when he is asking you to sin. Is he asking you to do something contrary to God’s law, i.e, commit adultery, lie, steal, etc. “We ought to obey God rather than men.” Acts 5:29
Since the Bible does not explicitly forbid the woman from getting a job outside of the home, it is therefore not a sin to get a job, so ‘yes’ you would submit to him.
My heart breaks for a woman who has to go down this path. Share your heart with your husband about how you feel and do your best to be obedient and loving as you head out into the workplace. Hopefully in time he will realize it is best for you to be at home ministering to your family.
My heart breaks for a woman who has to go down this path. Share your heart with your husband about how you feel and do your best to be obedient and loving as you head out into the workplace. Hopefully in time he will realize it is best for you to be at home ministering to your family.
Let's switch gears now and tackle the burning question of whether or not the Proverbs 31 woman had a job outside of the home. The following verses indicate that she was involved in some sort of business.
- · She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard. Proverbs 31:16
- · She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants. Proverbs 31:24
But first, let's go in Biblical order before we deal directly with these verses.
The Word of God refers to a woman’s relationship with her husband as her primary ministry, followed by the raising of her children, and then the keeping of her home, with outside ministries and industrious endeavors bringing up the rear.
Below are a few Scriptures regarding the importance of a wife:
Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. Proverbs 31:11
She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12
Then in Titus 2:3-5, God lays out 8 characteristics so wives do not blaspheme the Word of God.
1. Be sober. (intelligent)
2. Love your husband.
3. Love your children.
4. Be discreet. (modest)
5. Keepers at home.
6. Good.
7. Obedient to your husband.
A God-fearing wife’s life is centered around her husband, her children and her home.
Then of course we have the verses that state a wife is to submit to her own husband and that the husband is the head of the wife. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22 For the husband is head of the wife. Eph. 5:23
Let me develop this thought for you. Would you agree that the Proverbs 31 woman took care of her husband, children and home? Yes? I would too.
Being that she was under her husband’s leadership, headship, covering, etc. and the Bible says the wife is to submit to her own husband, (Eph. 5:22) would the Proverbs 31 woman have a job outside of the home? If she did and the employer was a male (perhaps someone else’s husband-get it!) how would she be able to submit to her own husband in that situation? She wouldn’t. She would no longer be under her husband’s headship if she worked outside of the home. A woman in an employer/employee relationship is under authorities that God has not enjoined her to.
But what about those verses in Proverbs??? The Word says she bought a field and planted a vineyard PLUS she made and sold merchandise! So here's my question for you to ponder.
Do you think she worked for someone else when she did those things? Or was she directly under her husband's leadership in those entrepreneurial endeavors?
Do you think she worked for someone else when she did those things? Or was she directly under her husband's leadership in those entrepreneurial endeavors?
I believe this woman worked from her home so she wouldn't neglect her first ministry and I also believe that her marriage was so important to her that she would not have jeopardized it in any way by submitting to another man's leadership just so she could receive a paycheck.
Yes, she was industrious, but that entrepreneurial spirit would come second to her husband, her children and the keeping of the home so the Word of God would not be blasphemed.
So what would be the motivation for the woman to have a cottage industry? Would it be to further her career or to keep up with ‘the Jones’ per se? Or would it be to help out her husband, a means to an end, not an end in themselves. I am sure the woman had her kids by her side as she worked in her cottage industry so she could get them involved and teach them some skills as well.
So what would be the motivation for the woman to have a cottage industry? Would it be to further her career or to keep up with ‘the Jones’ per se? Or would it be to help out her husband, a means to an end, not an end in themselves. I am sure the woman had her kids by her side as she worked in her cottage industry so she could get them involved and teach them some skills as well.
Have a biblical reason for everything you do or don’t do.
No where in the Bible does it state that a woman shouldn’t work outside of the home, but neither does it state that a man should be a keeper of the home. "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable." 1 Corinthians 6:12 NASB.
Don’t look to the world for the answers.
Be careful not to define your life by what the Bible does not say, rather define it by what it does say.
I know for many of you this subject is a hard pill to swallow. I understand how you feel! I was once a feminist who denied the existence of God. But I encourage you to surrender to God and the plan that He has for you.
Join me for the last part of this series, in which I have entitled, God's Truths and Satan's Lies for the Working Woman.
In this post, I will answer the following questions:
Is it spiritually best for you to be in the workplace?
Will your marriage blossom when you head out the door to earn a paycheck?
Will the relationship that you have with your children grow stronger or weaker as a result of you not being home?
Be in prayer about your decision.
Use discernment.
Know that God will provide.
"And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
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I just came across your blog yesterday and have been encouraged/intrigued by your posts. I have been a Christian most of my life but often wavered in my closeness to Christ. I attended a Christian college and I firmly believe that because of that I was able to create a strong biblical foundation on my life as well as gain some good Christian friends, something I desperately needed. I got a degree in secondary education but never felt deeply called to teach in a school, especially since my internship was the most trying time of my life to that point. I have since been out of college for four years and have not found full time employment. I've worked some part time jobs and was a substitute teacher for a few years (a job which tested me hard core and caused me great stress). I have been married for about a year and a half now. We have had a lot of financial struggles as we started marriage with him being on unemployment and me out of work until the school year started. My husband, bless his heart, works full time now and before the end of last year was able to find a much better job with benefits! I decided that I could no longer substitute teach for a variety of reasons and was able to work a few months part time in an office. That has since ended and I am unsure of what I should do now. I have looked for jobs but to no avail so I am left wondering what does God have for me. I have tossed around the idea of being a stay at home wife so that I could take care of things at home as well as devote more time to finding ways to save money and possibly sell my own homemade products but feel guilty about this knowing that much of our debt is because of my education. I have many outside forces telling me I have to get a job because I have a college degree and need to pay my bills, but lately I have been trying very hard to seek God in this manner and not listen to these voices. Your posts about not working outside the home have in a sense inspired me as I hope to one day be a stay at home mom. I firmly believe in the importance of raising my own kids. However, I do not have children yet so I am still struggling with what to do now. I've had this discussion with my husband and I said that if God wanted me to get a job I would, I'm just not sure how to go about it at the moment. My husband is supportive of my staying at home and loves that I cook and clean for him. His job is pretty stressful at times and will soon be studying for a series of exams so that he can become licensed in his field which will also come with a pay raise. He has said quite a few times that he can see the value in me being home to help alleviate any extra stress which will be especially helpful during his studying. When we were both working it was hard to keep up on things at home and I could feel the extra tension of having to stay on top of all that work and home life entails. And when we both have rough days at work its difficult to want to do anything at home. I am scared that if I were to get a full time job that our marriage could suffer because of it...but I still feel guilt about not fitting into a certain mold of what others think I should be. As I said, I am not yet a mother so is it wrong for me to want to stay home? For the first year or so of our marriage I felt so trapped in my employment situation, I knew we desperately needed the money but hated my job, now that my husband is making more money with potential for advancement I no longer feel as much stress about the need to work. I'm still unsure about how we'll be able to afford a house someday and have kids, but I need to learn to give those worries up to God. Also, something you said about losing your job resonated with me…You mentioned having more time to devote to your relationship with the Lord. Since I stopped working I have tried to make this a priority and boy what a difference it makes! I'm learning how to devote time to God, my husband and our marriage. Thank you for your passion, I hope to learn more as I continue to read your blog.
ReplyDeleteHi Ashley,
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and sharing your heart!
Since your husband is supportive of you staying home and sees the benefits of you spending most of your time as a wife and homemaker (that is a high calling from the Lord, by the way!) then my encouragement to you would be to stay at home and do just that. It's not a big deal if you don't have children. You can see that there are many things to do in your life by just serving and ministering to your husband and keeping your home. Who gives a rip about a college degree! Follow the Lord's path and don't let the enemy, the world, and other Christians tell you otherwise! As for the college debt...consider it a lesson learned but don't beat yourself up for it. But I do understand your concern about it. Two months before I met my husband I bought a $40k vehicle (I had a good paying job), and then 6 months later we married. I knew in my heart that I wanted to be the woman that God desired me to be, so within 1 month of our marriage I quit my job. I knew that if we had to sell my car in case we couldn't afford it, I was willing to do so. We never had to sell it by the way, but my point is this: my heart was heavy that my husband had to pay my debt and I wished I had walked into our marriage with none. But that was not the case. I don't ever regret for ONE MOMENT not being in the workforce before I had my children. So, that's my thoughts and experience, but ultimately, just listen to the Lord and be obedient to the scriptures and your husband. :)
Blessings,
~jolene
[...] with tending to her home. I briefly touched on this topic in a former post and you can read it here. In the future, I will expound on this [...]
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