Today I am going to address one of my reader's questions in regards to becoming a working wife or the possibility of having to go on welfare. This will certainly be a controversial post, so please be kind as I try to share on a very sensitive issue. Your graciousness is appreciated!
Hi Jolene,
I loved this post, (Becoming One with Your Man), especially where you talk about maintaining a oneness in marriage, even in the times when circumstances: health, finances, detractors, could very easily pull you apart. I have read in the past your convictions on staying at home to be a wife, mother, and homemaker and I applaud you for so overtly stating your beliefs backed by His word on this controversial issue. I recently read on another blog that I admire that author (a keeper at home) would not go to work unless her family was being faced with being on welfare. I have seen many close friends and family face this situation: the family facing public benefits as their only seeming option unless the wife decides to work outside of the home. Perhaps with today’s economy, money is the number one thing that drives a wedge between couples. How would you advise a Christian family contemplating going on welfare or having the wife go to work (assuming the husband was physically capable of working)? So many in our community are against government handouts, and for good reason. But this seems like a relevant issue to so many I love without a clear answer. Could you shed some light on what you would do in this situation?
I loved this post, (Becoming One with Your Man), especially where you talk about maintaining a oneness in marriage, even in the times when circumstances: health, finances, detractors, could very easily pull you apart. I have read in the past your convictions on staying at home to be a wife, mother, and homemaker and I applaud you for so overtly stating your beliefs backed by His word on this controversial issue. I recently read on another blog that I admire that author (a keeper at home) would not go to work unless her family was being faced with being on welfare. I have seen many close friends and family face this situation: the family facing public benefits as their only seeming option unless the wife decides to work outside of the home. Perhaps with today’s economy, money is the number one thing that drives a wedge between couples. How would you advise a Christian family contemplating going on welfare or having the wife go to work (assuming the husband was physically capable of working)? So many in our community are against government handouts, and for good reason. But this seems like a relevant issue to so many I love without a clear answer. Could you shed some light on what you would do in this situation?
~Felicity
This is a great question and one that is certainly relevant to many today, (myself included!)
For those of you that are new here, I am a married woman with children, and my husband is physically and mentally capable of working, yet our income is no longer what it once was. However, just because that has changed, our convictions have not, and we are not willing to throw them out the window just because the economy has gotten tough and there's been a radical dip in our bank account.
Also, I live in the land of opportunity; America- more specifically, Southern California. Can it get any closer to living in the land of consumerism and materialism than that?
Where I live it is easy to buy into the lie that we should be filled with financial success. We are conditioned into believing that by living in the land of opportunity that would equate to one being wealthy. I have grown up in an area and an era where the women should be goal-oriented and career-driven. By the way, I once held strongly to those views. But today, I am saved, I am married, and I have children- therefore, my viewpoint is different from what I have been conditioned by.
As I turn the pages of The Good Book, what I find in there is God giving a totally different viewpoint from what society holds to- you can read my post, A Biblical Blueprint for Married Women to know more. But God also gives us free will in making choices for our lives so that's where life gets a little more difficult in making the right, spiritually best decisions. Note: I said, spiritually best and not financially best; they are NOT the same.
Here' s the context for this counsel:
You're saved. You're married. Your husband is physically and mentally capable of providing for your family. You're still raising your children and your husband does not want you to get a job, but you are flat broke! I feel your pain.
What to do? What to do?
You have 3 choices, 3 different paths:
Path #1, A Working Wife
First off, it is NOT a sin for a wife to work! It is biblically lawful, but is it spiritually profitable for you to get a job? That's the question to ask if you find yourself in a similar financial situation.
If you get a job will it draw you closer to the Lord?
If you get a job will it draw you closer to your husband?
If you get a job will it draw you closer to your children as you shepherd them towards Christ?
In case you were wondering.....I'm not superwoman. I can't handle having a deep relationship with my Maker, my husband, my children (and home-educate them), be a keeper of the home, spend time in ministry AND get a job. It's just not possible. Not only that, but I do not believe that when I read the scriptures and apply it to my life today, that getting a job would be spiritually best for me and my family.
Would a job provide me comfort? Of course, along with a few trips to Starbucks and some new clothes, and perhaps even a vacation!
Would a job give me a sense of financial stability? Yes. But in reality, the stability is false because I am only trusting in man to hand me a paycheck rather than Christ to provide for my needs.
Would a job deepen my faith? Sorry Charlie..but that's a big fat no!
So, Path #1- The Working Wife Path, it's a no-go for this woman! My faith in Christ is too important to have it diminished by me getting a job, and the biblical priorities set forth for me as a wife and mother is a sacred calling. I'll choose these all day long over comfort. But don't get me wrong, there are days that I don't want to get out of bed or eat another bowl of beans again!
Note: In the scriptures it talks about the Proverbs 31 Woman considering a field and buying it, along with selling linens and garments. This woman is involved in cottage industry, but she is still under her husband's headship. She is also still training and caring for her children, along with tending to her home. I briefly touched on this topic in a former post and you can read it here. In the future, I will expound on this topic.
Let's look at Path #2- The Welfare Path
Some say go on welfare. Yes, we clearly qualify, btw!
Some Christian women who are on welfare may be reading this and let me just say....I am not here to condemn nor criticize your decision, in any way, shape or form! Please, please, please, know that!
Your husband is the spiritual leader of the home. He is your headship. He is the one to make those decisions for your family, and each family is different. Some husbands are not believers and some are barely believing. Some husbands want their children home-educated and some don't. Some want their wives to work and some don't. Some families have a blended family and there is another decision maker to consider in the equation. Again, each family is different so my encouragement to you is to pray about your situation and ask for the Lord to guide your family in the decision-making process.
Personally, my husband and I do not feel that we should be on welfare and here are some of our reasons why, (they are in no specific order):
- We would rather do our part as best we can and then have faith that the Lord would provide for us.
- We wouldn't want to get used to the help/income from the State because it would hinder our 'faith' muscles- you know those times when you are leaning on Him because He is all you have, and when you do--your faith grows deeper. We would rather be God-reliant rather than State-reliant, if that makes sense.
- We want our lives separated from the State. We are not interested in having the State involved in the affairs of our lives and dictating to us what we should and shouldn't be doing with our family.
- We believe that as God's children, according to the Bible, it is the Church that should be caring for their own.
By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:16-18
Now, before your mind goes racing ahead thinking we are living off of our church, that's not the case. Let me explain. We have been attending our church for over 15 years, but not once in the last 5 years of our financial hardship have we asked the church for assistance- we didn't even seek out a food basket at Christmas time! Yet, the Body of Christ has ministered to us in various ways and here's why-BECAUSE GOD KNOWS OUR NEEDS and He prompts His children! He uses the Body of Christ to be His hands and feet. This is not to say you shouldn't go to your church and share your situation- it's just that we haven't. We took our situation straight to our Father, our CFO (Chief Financial Officer). :)
To some reading this, it won't make sense. But we choose wild faith in the Great I Am over welfare.
Path #3- The Wild Faith Path
Is it easy to wait on the Lord? Excuse for a moment while I cough up some flem over that question!
You know the answer.
Regardless of our trials, it is NEVER easy to wait on the Lord, and that whole 'Be Still and Know that I Am God, Thing' certainly isn't easy, either! But I believe that is part of the sanctification process-- at least for me.
So, I choose a Wild Faith. The type of faith that our forefathers like Abraham and Noah had. Yes, I will be ridiculed by others, non-christian and christian alike, but wasn't Noah mocked for his faith as well? I wouldn't be surprised if those who lived near him coined the term, 'the village idiot' just for him, as he was building a very large boat for almost a hundred years when it hadn't rained or rained much during his time.
I want that deep water faith. The kind that walks on water when I keep my eyes on the Lord.
The kind of faith like George Mueller had when he sat down for a meal and the table was set but there was no food on his plate because they had none in the house-
And he prayed....
Then the doorbell rang.....
And there was a woman standing in the doorway and she said...
The Lord told me to bring you this food!
Hello people! Does the Lord not provide all we need? Why yes, yes He does! But again, we live in the land of opportunity where we should be happy. That's code for we should live in comfort. That's garbage by the way. No where in the scriptures do I read a statement like that! Again, it's another lie that we buy from the enemy and Christians need to wake up and stop doing it! Take God at His Word and trust Him.
Will He provide food for us like He provided manna for the Israelites? I think so!
Will we have oil in our jars like the widow? I think so!
Are we not more important than the birds of the air? Of course.
Doesn't our Father own the cattle on a thousand hills? That would be a yes!
Is it easy to be still and wait on Him? I think not!
Is it for a purpose? That's a resounding yes!
Note: Wild Faith is not an excuse for laziness, but unfortunately some husbands would fall under that category, but that's another post!
If you and your husband choose the Wild Faith Path, here's my encouragement to you:
- Hold fast to the scriptures of what God has laid out for you to do as a wife and mother. You do your part, let your husband do his part, and let God do His part. (I have become very creative in meal preparation, btw!)
- Have faith in the One True God and rest in Him. I know it's not easy when the bills aren't getting paid and you barely have enough money for food, but God will provide all your needs according to His glorious riches. I can attest to the fact that He has provided for us in miraculous ways and because of that, my faith in Him has grown deeper and deeper, and that, my friend, is priceless!
- Know that He is working through you.
Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. Hebrews 12:28
