Marriage Lessons from a Bicycle Built for Two

The tandem bike.  

That's what my man and I received from a friend.

The bike was left to her by someone else and it was practically brand new.  And we received it as a gift; for free.  I was surprised the original owners just gave it away.

My Beloved and I couldn't wait to take it out for a ride. 

Since both my man and I already knew how to ride a bike we figured riding a tandem one would be A. Piece. of. Cake!  

This is when we learned that riding a tandem bike is much like living an intentional, Biblical marriage....

FREE e-book: How to Strengthen Your Child's Faith at Christmas

I know it's a little early to be thinking about Christmas, but I have finally finished this ebook!  It's free to my readers and any new subscribers until November 10th, so grab it now!  Soon it'll be released on Amazon and you can get it for your Kindle.

Now I must tell you that I really wrestled with charging a fee for this because my heart is to encourage and equip every person that stops by my little ministry home to grow in Christ. But....this little on-line space is starting to grow and I need to start bringing in some funds to support the ministry.  Hence, the reason I decided to charge for the book.

14 Reasons Why a Husband Doesn't Lead His Family...& a Link Up!

I've been wanting to write this post for a while now and since one of my readers contacted me over this very issue, I thought I share this topic with everyone.  I know this dear wife is not alone in her situation. 

Dear Jolene,

I have been the bread winner in my family for some time now and I believe my husband is having a hard time figuring out how to step into this role. He has a tendency to be lazy.  I don’t want to be the head of our house, spiritually, financially, or in any other way.  But I feel like this is the route our life is taking and I want to get off that highway (so to speak) and live the way God intended with my husband in that role.  I just need him to be the leader in our home.

Signed,
~Needing help understanding and supporting my husband

Ask Jolene

I get emails from readers quite often and I must say that I absolutely LOVE your questions because my favorite type of ministry is one on one discipleship!  Therefore, I decided to openly invite you all to ask whatever it is that you're struggling with or the dilemma you can't seem to figure out.  If I can't answer your question, I'll let you know.

My heart's passion is in discipling and encouraging wives to grow a Godly marriage, single women, women's issues/friendships, outside ministry, and the discipleship of our children.

Here's a peak into my little corner of where I write for God's glory.  What you can't see in this pic is my laptop computer that is resting on a basket near my feet!

Top 15 Ways a Wife Can Strengthen Her Marriage

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, 

but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. 

Proverbs 12:4

10 Ways to Handle a Spiritually Unequal Marriage...& a Link Up!

Question from a reader.......

Dear Jolene,
I am 22 and a newly married woman and my husband and I got married in July of this year.  He comes from a Jewish background and he accepted the Lord into his heart around 1 1/2 years ago to 2 years ago. He is still very new to the Lord.  I was raised in a Christian family.  I accepted the Lord into my heart when I was 6 and stood firm for a while but then reached high  school and university years and drifted away.  I have come back to the Lord and am walking with him, and trying to grow with Jesus now that I am an adult. 
One way we really need to work on our marriage is spending time with the Lord together. We will wake up have breakfast and then sit down and read separately in the bible and then come together at the end and share a little about what we read and then read our daily "Utmost for His Highest" devotional.  However we always end up bickering about something. I guess because I am from a Christian family I just know more about the scriptures or I don't know.  I don't like saying it like that but anyway I have walked with the Lord longer and have had all of His teachings around me pretty much my whole life. But my husband hasn't and so I guess because of that he voices his opinions and sometimes it freaks me out because they won't be right on track with what the Bible says. Or not even that, sometimes he just won't feel moved about what we've read or he feels like me voicing my opinions or what I thought of our devotional makes him a bad leader. He doesn't feel like he's being a leader.  I just need advice.  I feel discouraged and he does too and then I just feel fruitless.  
 ~frustrated newlywed

Are You More Like His Mother or His Lover?

The need to control.  That's what we do as wives.

It's our flesh seeping out and if we can't get it under control, then our marital oneness will start to erode.

And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.  Genesis 3:16 (NLT)

Here's what mothering our men looks like:

We tell him he doesn't know how to parent, how to handle finances, how to lead the family, or even how to buy groceries!  Don't believe me on this?  Take a look around at our society and you'll see how we're being conditioned by the world as they tell us that men are a bunch of idiots, completely incompetent to handle even the smallest tasks.

Can you just let things go and enjoy the man you married?

Continue reading here where I'm guest posting today at Unveiled Wife!

Live a poured out life for Christ,

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Christmas E-Book Coming Soon!

I mentioned awhile back in a prior post that I wrote a short e-book a few years ago on the topic of strengthening your child's faith at Christmas.  Being that the majority of my posts here on The Alabaster Jar are written on marriage, and when I have more time on my hands I write on growing your Faith, I'm sure some of you were quite surprised that I wrote an e-book geared towards discipling your children.  

Although the tagline on this blog has mothering in it, I've considered dropping it several times but the Lord keeps tells me no, so that's why I leave it there.  Anyways, I focus more on marriage and your walk with the Lord and here's why:  I believe if I can encourage and equip you to deepen your faith and have a strong, Christ-centered marriage, then those two things will help you in your parenting.  With a stronger marriage, it'll make parenting your kiddos easier.  Notice I didn't say easy, just easier!  Remember, we're raising sinners.

You might be asking yourself why in the world did I write a book on discipleship, then?  Well, this post will give you a little bit of history on my e-book as well as my writing ministry.

Go now, write it on a tablet for them, inscribe it on a scroll, that for the days to come it may be an everlasting witness.  Isaiah 30:8

Free Wives of the Bible E-book!

Many of you have asked if my Wives of the Bible Series can be printed.  Well, I just put the series into an E-book just for you!

Subscribe to The Alabaster Jar and receive my FREE e-book, Wives of the Bible.

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Once you subscribe, you'll receive a confirmation email, and in that email is a link to my ebook. 

Live a poured out life for Christ,

Did you enjoy reading The Alabaster Jar?

To receive future posts you can subscribe via email and Facebook.

More Wives of the Bible?...and a Link Up!

Since I just finished up my Wives of the Bible Series I've been asked by many of you if I'll be writing about more wives. 

Well, the answer is a resounding yes!   But I won't be doing so until much later and I'll be writing about them in a different format.

I've also been asked if my series could be used in a Bible study or small group.  Of course you can share this in a group setting!  I'm blessed to hear that what I've written is being used and ministering to wives all around the world.  To God be the glory!

Another question I've been asked is if I would write about Moms of the Bible.  I've been praying about this one for awhile (since I started the Wives series) and I just might write about them.  But again, this series would come much later down the road. 

I know many of you are new here since you found me on Pinterest. Well, let me just give you a big hug and a warm welcome.  You've blessed my heart already!  I also wanted to let you know that I usually post here twice a week; not everyday like what you were receiving from the wives series.  I'd be brain dead if I wrote daily and my family would go hungry!

The Transformed Wife

13 Wives in 13 Days...Wives of the Bible Series

Wife #13

This wife had a lot of brokenness.

But instead of choosing bitterness, she chose to become better.  And she did so when she walked by faith.

The Lord redeemed her.

And through His mighty hand, she became joyful and transformed.

Who is she?

She's Sarah, wife of Abraham.

The Wife After God's Own Heart

13 Wives in 13 Days...Wives of the Bible Series

Wife #12

I have a love/hate relationship with this wife.

She is a wife I look up to and one I try to emulate, but she puts me to shame.

  

She's dedicated to her husband and children.

She's hard-working.

She's filled with graciousness, compassion, and wisdom.

She seeks to make her home comfortable for her family.

And she ministers to others.

But what stands out to me the most about this wife is not what she did or what she said, but Who she pursued...

She pursued the Lord.

Who is she?

She's the Proverbs 31 Wife.

The Respectful Wife

13 Wive in 13 Days...Wives of the Bible

Wife #11

This wife challenges me to the core.

When I think about all that she endured I can't help but shed a few tears because of her heartache and pain.

She was the talk of the town.  Her good name was being smeared.

Her man didn't initially want to marry her because of rumors, lies, and misunderstandings.  I would imagine that must have broke her heart.

But he took her as his wife because the Lord told him to do so.

Although her marriage started off a little rocky and rather unique, she followed her man, nonetheless. 

Regardless of her circumstances, she had a surrendered spirit; seeking to please her Father above all others.

This dear wife based her life on faith, not logic. 

Who is she?

She's Mary, wife of Joseph.

The Wife Who Wasn't a Doormat

13 Wives in 13 Days...Wives of the Bible

Wife #10

Her husband was a ruler.

She was fearful of him.

She needed to stand up for what was right.

Even if it meant her death.

Who is this wife?

She is Esther.

The Enticing Wife

13 Wives in 13 Days...Wives of the Bible Series

Wife #9

She's insecure with her outer appearance.  (I love her already!)

She let's her husband sexually delight in her.

She sexually delights in her man.

But then she rejects him.   Later, she realizes she's made a mistake so she goes after him.

So who is she?

She's the Shulamite Woman, also known as Solomon's Wife.

The Wife Who Didn't Nag, But Could Have

13 Wives in 13 Days...Wives of the Bible Series

Wife #8

Her spirit was disturbed.

She knew something wasn't right.

She shared her thoughts and concerns with her man but he didn't heed her concern and warning.

So who is she?

She's Pontius Pilate's Wife.

The Submissive Wife & a Marital Oneness Monday Link Up

13 Wive in 13 Days...Wives of the Bible Series

Wife #7

I love this wife.

She was bold.

She was strong and willing to go against family, friends, customs and traditions.

Yet, she submitted to her husband.

What?  She submitted?  Did she lose her mind?

Why would any woman willingly submit to their husband?

Hmmm, perhaps she knew something about submission that others didn't.

Who is this wife?

She is Elizabeth, the wife of Zacharias.

In my book, she is one Godly woman to emulate!

The Wife Who Placed a Higher Priority On Motherhood vs. Her Marriage

13 Wives in 13 Days...Wives of the Bible Series

Wife #6

If you have children, then you'll most likely relate to this wife on some level.

She was one busy lady raising two rambunctious boys; so rambunctious she felt like a battle was taking place within her womb while she was pregnant.  Yes, she was carrying twins.

She made some poor decisions as she raised them, so much so, that her favorite son followed her deceptive ways.

She had more loyalty towards her offspring than her husband.

So who is this wife?

She's Rebekah.

The Contentious and Jealous Wife

13 Wives in 13 Days...Wives of the Bible Series

Wife #5

I so get this woman.

Controlling.

Jealous.

Discontent.

Most wives can identify with her, unless of course you're a dead wife!

So who is this woman?

She's Sarai. (You might know her as Sarah, but today she is Sarai.  I'll introduce Sarah to you later in the series.)

There's much we can learn from Sarai so we're going to spend quite a bit of time with her today.  

The Worldly Wife

13 Wives in 13 Days...The Wives of the Bible Series

Wife # 4

This wife makes me sad.

She lived in a desirable land.  Very luxurious.  Yet, also very wicked.

God had a much better plan for her life than what she was capable of seeing.

The Lord was leading her and her family to a new place, but she didn't care.

She wasn't willing to let go of her current lifestyle.

She longed for it as she looked back....

So who is this wife?

She's Lot's Wife

The Lying and Prideful Wife

13 Wives in 13 Days...Wives of the Bible

Wife #3

This wife unfortunately followed her lying husband's lead.

She was too proud to say she held some money back as her and her man chose not to give the Apostles all the profits from their land.

She was hoping the Believers would think she was more spiritually mature than what she truly was.

So who is this woman?

Sapphira, wife of Ananias.

The Discouraging Wife

13 Wives in 13 Days....Wives of the Bible

Wife #2

She faced a lot of trials.

She lost her possessions, her cattle, wealth, home and even her children.  And then her husband fell ill.

This couple lived through some depressing times.

In spite of all their horrendous trials, her husband did his best to follow the Lord.

A Godly man he was, yet, she didn't care too much about that.

So who is she?

She's Job's wife.

The Wife of Influence

13 Wives in 13 Days....Wives of the Bible Series

Wife #1

She frustrates me to no end.

I know no one is perfect, but come on now, when was the last time you took counsel from a.....

Snake!  Really, a snake?

This woman needs no introduction because we all know she is Eve.

She's THE woman who caused the fall of mankind because she was deceived.

But the LORD God warned him, "You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden—except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die." Genesis 2:16,17

Learning from the Wives of the Bible Series

I've decided to write a series called, Wives of the Bible; What to Do and What Not to Do Based on the Lives of these Women, as I blog every day for the next 13 days of my 1/2 marathon of blogging.   

I hope you'll join me each day as I discuss these wives because many of them are a crack up!  Some of them are so Godly and I try to emulate my life after them and others, well, let's just say I've never seen such poor decision-making in all my life!

We'll glimpse into the lives of the many infamous and not so famous wives of the Bible.  Ranging from Eve, to Sarah, to Esther, all the way to the obscure, Pontius Pilate's wife.